Ocean Drive Marathon, Cape May, NJ. 3/24/13

There is not a lot to say about this race. It was not a goal race. I have run it twice now and it never goes well, but that doesn't mean I am disappointed.  I returned to try to run a supported long run that I could use to jump start a bigger mileage week. For the next several weeks, race performances will be sacrificed for better training. This is part of my process.  I enjoy training through races so I will still be racing (cheaper events), but most of them will be tired runs until I taper again for the next goal.

Friday I ran a hard 7 miles. Yesterday, I ran 15.2 miles with Team in Training, almost as a reverse progression (not intentionally).  I started with some faster runners. Well, I should clarify.  I started with Alanna who forgot her watch and therefore ran freely.  Apparently Alanna likes to run a low 8 minute pace when she forgets her watch!   That felt ok and I knew we would slow it down.  Steve joined Alanna and me for 4 miles.  He is one of our speediest TNT runners.  We did slow it down, since both Alanna and I were going to run this marathon today.  Alanna left and I stayed with Steve. I talked him into an easier pace for the next 5 mile loop about 9:20's.  After Steve left, Maria stilled needed 5 more miles so I headed out with her, Sue and one more TNT runner at an easier pace.

My allergies and autoimmune system have been acting out lately.  I did not feel great yesterday, but the pace only averaged out to mid-9's so I didn't really feel horrible.  However, I was wiped out after the run and spent the day doing things around the house (made soup, tried to make gluten-free rice crispy bars with coconut and chocolate chips).

Usually I try to take Enzo out for his run after TNT's run, but I just didn't have the energy. Enzo has taught us a new trick.  When Enzo wants to run, he goes over to his leash on the wall and hits it with his nose so it swings.  We learned this means we are being asked to take him out.  It is irresistible and thankfully Sid complied with Enzo's request leaving me home to vegetate (and make soup).

Today, I got up at 4:30 am and headed down to the race.  I feel exhausted in the car and figured that was because I got up at 4:30 am to drive 2 hours.  Once at the bus pick up, I found Alanna and we took the bus another 30 minutes, maybe?, to the starting line.  We had about an hour wait until the start.

During that time, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what to wear from my gear bag.  The weather was in that odd state of being above 30, but feeling like sub-30.  Some people were in singlets and shorts. Others were in winter gear.  I thought about the last ultra I ran in sub-30 and dressed like that. (T7 racers, Dry Max sock, calf sleeves, capri pants, long sleeve tech shirt, sports bra, light jacket, winter hat, and throw away gloves). Before I checked my gear bag, I decided that I felt too warm, so I swapped my jacket for vest and put my hat and gloves in my drop bag. I should have worn less, but at times I was cold, so no matter what I wore it would likely not have felt ideal.

I was a little cold at the start, so it seemed perfect.  The wind was reported online to be 7 mph from the North so although we had to run in the entire way, 7 mph seemed ok.   I know from law school, when I used to study a lot on the beach in Key Biscayne in Miami, that if the winds were under 13 mph I could ride my bike to the beach because I could sit on my beach towel and my beach towel, books, and a snack fit in my bike baskets.  If the winds were 13 or more I had to drive my car to the beach because I needed to bring my beach chair since the winds would kick up sand into my books if I was sitting on the ground.  So I figured 7 mph wasn't even enough wind to kick up sand, how bad could it be.

Off we go and I figure a 7:15-7:25 pace to start is reasonable.  I expected a fade.  I did train for this to be  PR.  But, I just ran 12.4 miles at 6:53 and 31.06 miles at 7:50.  I have run a marathon at 7:27 and 7:29 paces at best, so I didn't feel this speed was too ambitious. However, because I started off feeling under the weather, any additional frustrations along the way just made me feel worse.

By mile two I was already getting frustrated from the noise of the constant wind blowing past my ears.  I realize that sounds crazy, but at one point I covered my ears because I just wanted to sound of the wind to stop.  We pretty much had to run into the wind the entire race so the force of it plus the noise was relentless. Next windy race, I have to wear something over my ears.

As we ran with the 10 milers, I remembered that the first 11-12 miles of the course is only stocked with water.  I tend to rely on course supplied sports drink as my fuel and carry only two gels on me.  I planned for my first gel at 9 miles (or nearest aid station). I don't think much of running the first 9-10 on just water, but in hindsight, my best 50k and marathons have always been fueled from 3 miles on and every 3 miles throughout on gatorade.  When gatorade was finally on the course, the powder mix seemed to be very dilute.  I do think that going so long without any calories and when I did get some it was watered down a lot simply added to how tough this race became for me at the end.  Of course we are all free to be carry our own stuff to meet our own needs and the race website said no gatorade until almost the second half.  I do feel that when a race charges about $100 per runner, it would be nice of them to get some sports drink on the course before mile 11, and if using a mix, make sure it is mixed properly at the stops that have it.

This race was not a goal race for me, so training in a depleted state works out to be better training anyway for me.  I just didn't plan on it for today. I know that less than my preferred access to sports drink is not sole the cause of my crash, but it did become just one more straw for me today.

At one point, just past 13.1 I stepped on some crushed sea shells and a few shards became jammed in the sole of my shoes.  I had to stop to remove that.  That made me laugh so I thought I would share. :)

Last time I "ran" the ODM, it was by far the worst marathon of my life.  I pretty much walked in the last 10 miles, learning at that race that eating a bagel in the morning was the worst thing I could do.  It was the race I decided to experiment going Gluten Free with running fuel.  As I passed the halfway point, I tried to stay positive but I was already feeling terrible physically and knew it wasn't going to go well for me today, again. I felt like it was 2012 all over again.

If I was able to DNF at that point, there was no doubt in my mind that I would have walked off the course today.  Everything about me was achy.  I had no pep in my stride.  I felt completely exhausted and overly fatigued, more than I should at this distance. No pace felt comfortable.  My large muscle groups like my quads felt weak.  I was having trouble not slouching over.  Coming off another low mileage week and running a flat course, it was so very odd for me to feel so beat up.   I am not a fan of that feeling.

Just like the last time, at 16 miles, everything just fell apart for me.  Today, I had already slowed down to about 7:50-8:05.  After 16 miles it was just a matter of making to finish line so this could all be over. I cruised along at 9-10 minute pace, walking through water stops, stopping to use the porta-potty.

Over the next 10 miles, I hid my watch so I didn't have to look.  I slowed way down because I had to, not because I wanted to.  It would have been better for my body and mind to get it done faster, but I felt so weak and harder running made me feel dizzy and queazy.  It felt like I was out there for days and when I finally looked at my watch with 2 miles to go, I was happy to see that I was still going to finish around 3:45, which is what I did.

Admittedly, I am a little frustrated that in my 50k, my marathon split was about a 3:22 and felt easier than today's 3:45. At the 50k I even kept on going. That was 3 weeks ago. Here I wasnt prepared or planning to PR, but I did expect to be able to cruise in around a 3:30-ish without much suffering.  I suffered pretty much this whole race and I am not sure why, except to say sometimes these things just happen.  My body has been fighting off some allergies for a few weeks now and I suspect I am just really tired from it all.

I left before the results were posted so I have no official stats at this time.

I am not terribly disappointed.  I am bummed to not get that High from a job well done, but I know hard days are part of the process.  Any day spent running is a good day no matter how long it takes :)

Asheville Shamrock 10k, Asheville, NC. 3/16/17

Sid and Enzo in front of the Mooney from a prior trip

Sid and I spent a long weekend in Asheville 3 years ago.  We wanted to go back and do some of the things we did the last time (run trails, eat good food, run this 10k) and some new stuff (like fly ourselves in, take Enzo to Bent Creek, etc.).   In 2010, the weather was bad so we ended up driving down instead of flying.  This time the weather was nice so Sidney rented the Mooney and we flew down from NJ.

It was so beautiful flying in over the mountains, but mountains and wind equal a ton of turbulence.  As we descended towards the airport, the winds made a sudden shift.  We were the first to be diverted to a different runway.  This added a few more minutes for me to try not to puke as we bounced around.  I honestly don't know how Sidney does what he does.  Not much seems to phase him, at least in the air.

However, on the ground I can find ways to challenge his comfort zone ;).  On Saturday morning, as we walked into the school gym to pick up our packets, Sid exclaimed, "Hey! I didn't know there was a 5k option!"  I responded, "That's because I didn't tell you.  The 5k turns around before the big climb and I thought you would be disappointed to miss out on the challenge. ;)"

During my warm up, I ran right into Veronica (my old NYU roommate) and her baby nephew (who was truly a little genius at just over 1 years old).  V was coming to hang out with us for the day.  It was nice to see her after many years, but I was already getting pre-race nerves and was ready to start.   She asked me if I thought I was going to win.  I told her that would be unlikely since I don't train on hills and I fully expect some local runners to just crush the course while I suck wind on the climbs.

Sid met me at the starting line and commented how he was not looking forward to running up that mountain.  I told him that it is only fair that if he rattles me in the air, then I get to rattle him on the ground.  We both stood there knowing that we have done nothing specific to prepare for this course and accordingly there was now nothing we could do to make it not hurt.

The gun goes off. We start off downhill, turn a corner and head uphill until we finally start cruising down towards mile 1.  The 5k and 10ks start together.  It was hard to figure out who was racing what and with a crowded start I wasn't sure where I was in the field once we spread out and started making turns where I lost sight of the lead runners.

I wore my Garmin, but I did not look at my splits when I saved them.  I knew they didn't matter.  This race was about beating the course, not beating the clock.   M1: 7:02

I knew we would start really climbing before I hit mile 2.  I was torn between trying to run as fast as I could to the uphill, knowing that I would likely be power hiking at least the steepest part or trying to save myself  for the climb so I could stay strong on the way up.  As the 5k runners turned off, I was informed that I was the first female. That was unexpected but I assumed the local runners would just overtake me on the climb.  I wondered how long it would take. I saved a little strength for the climb. M2: 6:53

As we turned into the hill and started the climb, I could feel the pressure change inside my entire body.   I felt my heart beat in my ears.  The climb varied in steepness and I just tried to stay moving as my pace slowed to a crawl. M3: 9:01

Knowing that the we have to go down and remember that from 4-5 was a steep downhill mile, I just tried to focus on getting to mile 4.  Any chance now that I could run fast I took it. The climb was almost over so I didn't need to hold back.  I was surprised to not have been passed in mile 3 and could not help but take advantage of the twisting roads that allowed me to glance down to earlier parts of the course.  Even with a few peaks back, I noticed one female but couldn't tell if she was the closest one behind me.  If she was, there was no way to tell how fast she was going in relation to me.

Rather than worry about what is happening behind me, I decided to focused on the four guys I could see ahead of me and try to keep them in sight as I hit mile 4.  I was so tired and everything was burning but I was moving.  At the very steepest part, it seemed straight up, I was slowed to a power-walk for just a few steps. I realized walking would not slow my pace, but rather allow me to catch my breath a bit as I reached the summit.  I am glad I made this decision because once I crested the steepest part, I was ready to run hard and fast.  M4: 8:01

(Despite all those ups and downs in the Garmin data, in reality it was primarily up from 1.7 through 4 miles with flatter sections between ups.  There seemed to be only one noticeable downhill section during those uphill miles).

Once we hit mile 4, we got to go DOWN and make up all the time we lost.  The only trouble is that at points it gets so steep, that it makes me worry my feet are going to slip out from under me. I actually start gaining on the guys in front of me. M5 6:23.

I catch up to one guy who tells me that I am 1st female.  I tell him I have been waiting to be passed this entire race.  He asks me how old I am.  I tell him I am 37 and he said "I knew you were a youngster!" (LOL. Young!).  He says he is 47 and lives in the neighborhood.  I ask him what the rest of the course looks like.  He mentions one or two more little hills to go.  He asks me where I am from.  I tell him NJ and explain that I don't live in the mountains so I never expected to be doing this well.  I just keep pushing my pace and I pulled ahead of him, briefly.

We turned a corner and merge with the 5k runners. We hit a short uphill, where he flew past me.  We had caught up to some of the other guys and I pass one as I get passed back by the local guy I just met.   I stop paying attention to the men and just keep running hard.  I feel a little dizzy and it is becoming hard to focus M6: 6:22

We have a short downhill then and a final up hill sprint to the finish.  It is now that I begin to believe that I am actually going to win this race.  I can't believe it.  I can't wait to tell Sidney... if he is still speaking to me.

I see Veronica at the finish.  She is happy to see me finish.  She asks how I did.  I tell her I won.  She is surprised.  It can be hard to tell when the 5ks and the 10ks are coming in the same finish.  I head down to cheer on Sidney and a few minutes later I see him.  I ask him, "Do you hate me now?" He answers,  "Um, I am not speaking to you right now (with a smile)."  He ran well, but times and places don't matter to him.  Regardless, I am proud of him.

Stats:
Time: 44:37 (7:11)
Overall place: 9th
Gender place: 1st

Miles for Music 20k. USA-TF NJ State Championship. 3/10/13

Photo by Elaine Acosta

So here I am again.  Just like last year.  Standing at the starting line of a 20k road race just one week after a 50k PR at Nationals and a 100 mile week of running unsure of what I am capable of doing. There are no guarantees after the guns goes off, except that I am going to try to do my best.

No rest.  Tired legs.  All that I can think of is "30k less than last weekend!" and that makes it sound reasonable for me to be here.

This morning, I woke up with the skin around my eyes swollen and raw.  It feels like I have a bad sunburn, that I somehow got while sleeping.  This happens a few times each year, and most consistently in the first week of March.  After months of test and many doctors visits, it was concluded that I have a faulty immune system (that could be related to the damage done by my chemotherapy).  My body gets confused and attacks itself at random.  It used to be worse.  I used to become covered in hives and have trouble breathing.  Once my throat started closing up.  At least once per year I am getting shot up in the ER with steroids.  I am not in pursuit of a more conclusive diagnosis.  I have had over 200+ needles to try to find what I am reacting to and nothing was identified.  So, I consider my faulty autoimmune system the price I have to pay to be alive and that price in my mine is quiet small.

I pre-registered for this race.  Had I not, I would have likely stayed home because the last time I had a puffy face and ran it did get worse.  However, the time before that running made it better.  The time before that I was not running at all and I had a reaction.  My running and my autoimmune disorder simply co-exist and do not seem to bother each other.  Regardless, I called John Phelan on the way to the race and told him that if I start to feel bad, then I may need him to take me to the ER.   However, on the drive over the swelling seemed to be calming down somewhat since I first woke up and that made me feel better.  The raw, burning skin sensation around my eyes and eye lids was still present, but at least I no longer looked like a monster.

I knew this was could go either way.  My plan was to hover just sub-7:00 and see how that felt.  My last 10 miler was 6:53 and I wanted to hit that pace for the 20k, but I did just race a 50k hard last weekend. I could very easily crash.  I needed to see how long I could hang on!

Weather said low 30s but I still felt cold.  I wore way too much to the starting line and ditched half of it before lining up.  I broke out a new pair of Brooks T7's and opted to go with my now lucky (as opposed to geeky) capri pants and calve sleeves in lieu of tights.  I had a long sleeve tech shirt and knew it was going to be too warm for me as the temps rose.

Gun goes off. I try to settle in with a pack of guys I know run about my pace when I am running really great.  We made our way up the incline, heading out towards the first turn around. M1-6:51

I was surprised that I felt so comfortable.  I found I was bouncing down below 6:40 at times, but knew I would not hold that for 12.4. I would rather speed up than fade, so I settled down.  Someone commented about my capri pants, stating that she had the same pair. She did. She made a few more comments about how she loved Brooks gear. A guys ahead said how much he loved the shoes.  I thought it was funny to be caught up in the middle of a Brooks love fest and I really did not say much at all.  I was trying to stay focused and in tune with my body.  I wasn't sure if my throat would start to swell or my legs would suddenly become jello.  Also, a sub-7 pace tends to be a little bit to fast for me to hold up my end of a conversation.  I felt good and just did not want to waste any energy.  M2-6:53

I sat on a pack of runners for many of the middle miles.  Actually I was just out of reach of them but moving close to their speed.  I could see they were slowly creeping away from me, but I knew that if I pushed a little harder this early, it would be too fast.  I planned to just run MY pace and feel comfortable until last 15k.  M3-6:53, M4-6:51, M5-6:50, M6-6:52.

I still had the pack in range and felt pretty good.  I saw my 5k split at 20:58 and my 10k split at 42:10. Just a small fade, but pretty close!  I wanted to see about getting to the 15k in under 1:04 (which I believe is still my 15k PR).   I had a gel tucked in my sports bra and decided I might as well take it.  M7-6:55.

As we started to round the turn around I realized I was gaining on the small pack I was trailing.  Again, I did not alter my comfortable pace because felt good and knew I was running well.  I just ran MY race and since I was not fading, I was reeling in those who started to fade a bit.  I passed some of that pack while a few pulled ahead. M8-6:56

As the temperature began to warm slightly I could feel I was sweating a lot. I decided with just under a half hour to go, I would ditch my long sleeve near the start finish line.  It was the best move I could have made.  I felt so much better and ready to try to finish fast.   You can't decided to run in a sports bra in the cold and not run fast (without getting cold, and/or simply looking a bit like an idiot ;) LOL).  So to not look like an idiot, I tried to run fast. :)  M9-6:53 (15k was sub-1:04)

I felt strong and took advantage of any fast parts of the course.  I wanted to get this over with fast.  I started counting down the mileage, ignoring that 0.4.  Ten miles done, 2 to go!  I knew there was a small uphill just after the downhill after the turn around. After that uphill I hoped to have something to offer.   M10-6:46, M11-65:55, M12-6:53

I realize that I actually did not have as much of a kick as I had hoped.  I was tired and just happy to still be running sub-7's.  I got my speed up as I got closer to the finish, running that last .4 the fastest of the day.  Last 0.4 - 2:52 

Stats:  
Time: 1:25:22 (6:53 pace)
OA Place: 93
Gender: 11
AG: 2

I can't end this without saying Congratulations to John Phelan, who ran a 50k PR last weekend and joined me today to run pretty close to his half marathon PR today!  Great job John!

My Guest Blogger Article: Running as Therapy, Multidays.com 3/8/13

Running as Therapy by Shannon McGinn

Posted by Abichal on March 8, 2013 in Guest Blogger, Latest news | 0 Comment

Running as Therapy
by Shannon McGinn

“Running. Cheaper Than Therapy.” I can’t remember where I first saw that slogan, but it made me laugh. As a runner, I recognize that I run because it makes me happy. I do much of my training alone. My running, sometimes, offers me space to think. I can cover miles while contemplating the mysteries of my life.

As a therapist, I spend countless hours invested in the struggles of others. To de-clutter my mind, I often need peace, quiet, and time for myself. Sometimes I think about nothing at all. Anyone who knows me can attest to how challenging it is for me to quiet my thoughts. Once in a while, on a great run, I can do it. I will look down at my watch and realize a significant amount of time has passed and I can’t remember thinking about a single thing. Those days are amazing!

But most days, my running is simply mathematics in motion. Lots of math. Hours of math. Math relevant to the run that I am doing. Math relevant to the runs I have done. Math relevant to the runs I want to do in the future. I am good at math, but not as good as I should be after the amount of time I spend practicing it.

For me, the days that I think about nothing or distract myself with math are better than those days when my runs are spent processing the stressors of my life. Maybe math is the secret? “Math. Cheaper Than Therapy.” Hmm, I probably wont sell a lot of those T-shirts.

I recognize that there is a difference between “something that is therapeutic” and “therapy”. But first, it is important to note that there has been success with using exercise to manage symptoms of clinical level anxiety, depression or other mood disorders. It is an excellent intervention, used in conjunction with other types of treatment, when the source of the problem is unknown or cannot be remedied and therefore managing symptoms is the ultimate goal.

Many runners, even those without a clinically diagnosable disorder, would likely agree that running is therapeutic because it helps us cope with stress. However, coping with stress or managing symptoms often does not solve underlying problems. In most cases, unless our biggest stressor is not being a good-enough runner, then running, on its own, is really not the solution. Running, whether it be through the woods, on the roads, at some destination race, or even on a treadmill, will always drop us off in the same place we started. The relief of symptoms after a run is real, but it is temporary. Symptoms will likely return until we can run again or resolve a conflict. Longer lasting change does not generally happen unless we are able to implement some of the ideas we spent hours developing while on the run. Therefore, it is often the actions we take (or decide to not take) after the run that resolves our conflicts.

Or is it the act of running that changes us? From a cognitive behavioral perspective, I do believe the act of running, on its own, may have tremendous value as an agent for intrapersonal change.
Not without its critics, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is considered a highly effective evidence-based psychotherapeutic intervention for a wide range of conditions. Under CBT theory, our behavior is shaped by our beliefs (or constructs) about ourselves and the world we live in. When maladaptive beliefs shape our behaviors, they act to perpetuate conflict, stress, and/or dysfunction. Because how we behave impacts how we are received, perceived, and reacted to by others, our beliefs get reinforced as accurate and factual, even if they are simply misperceptions. In other words, we create self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us stuck. By challenging our constructs, maladaptive beliefs are uncovered. Once we realize that what we believe to be truths are actually inaccurate opinions, our behaviors change and our world is experienced differently. As a result, conflicts, distress, and/or dysfunction resolve.

But what does this have to do with running? In actual practice, effective CBT interventions are carefully crafted to address maladaptive beliefs that perpetuate specific disorders. We already discussed that being a successful runner is not a solution to non-running problems. However measurable success as a runner has the power to reshape the beliefs we hold about ourselves as people.

For those who care to track data (and it seems most runners do track the data that is important to them), running offers us clear and concrete measurable goals and results. If it is truly important to us, we will know if we actually ran a mile (or 100 miles) and just how long we took to do it. Even without a watch, we know if we ran “better” than last time. If we run further, faster, more frequently, or cover more challenging terrain with more ease than we ever thought possible, we know it. In time, it becomes clear that running changes our beliefs about how strong we are, how much we can endure, and how much heart we have. This is a significant cognitive shift that not only shapes how we perceive ourselves as runners but also how we perceive ourselves as people.

Running truly has no finish line. Because the experience of completing a challenging run is incredibly rewarding, runners are easily compelled to challenge themselves repeatedly. As a result, it is no surprise that ultrarunning is a fast growing sport. Hundred mile races are now more popular than ever. People who never imagined they could complete a marathon are now daydreaming about multi-day racing.

Beside offering concrete measurable goals and the opportunity to manage stress, running, just like a good therapy session, teaches us how to use metaphors to make sense of our world. We learn how the climbs always seem worse from the bottom. We learn that every great run starts with the courage to take the first step. We learn that if we fall down, we have to get up, dust ourselves off, and get back at it. Running teaches us that if we plan well, work hard, stay focused, fight through challenges, take care of our basic needs, and have gear that works, then we have a good chance at discovering we are capable of amazing things. Running ultimately teaches us that we are only as weak as we believe we are. All these lessons ring true for life as well.

The cognitive shift running creates within us is often life-altering. Our confidence builds. Challenges scare us less. Suddenly ridiculous things become reasonable goals. As a result, people treat us differently because we act differently. We begin to discover “new” opportunities that likely have always been present. Most importantly, if our conflicts or stressors were a product of our own insecurities about ourselves, the increase in self-confidence running brings can result in solutions in our non-running world.

This is all wonderful stuff, but not everyone is good at self-discovery and change. Some people will simply run in circles, never really challenging their constructs, never solving problems, or never breaking old patterns. Some people need more than just a therapeutic activity to help them through their pain. Unfortunately, there is still a great resistance towards asking a therapist for help, even within a group of people who will so proudly declare “Running is my therapy!”

I don’t believe that everyone who finds therapeutic value in running needs to sit down and discuss their experience with a professional. A good test to determine whether you need more than just running to help resolve a conflict is to reflect upon how long you have been stuck on the same problem. Have you been able to significantly change or overcome any part of your struggle on your own? If not, then running may be a wonderful therapeutic activity for coping with stress, but a therapist may be necessary to give you the support and guidance you need while you wrestle with the hard parts of life.

Finally, is running cheaper than therapy? I am sure it used to be back when running around for no reason was considered abnormal. Now the secret is out. People are rapidly discovering the therapeutic life-altering value of distance running. Thanks to supply and demand, running and racing is getting more expensive. It is now becoming a race to secure a bib for ultras. That used to be a marathon problem. As I look at the rising costs of ultras, where my personal therapy most often takes place, I am starting to think that I may need to print up a new T-shirt. “Therapy. Cheaper Than Running.” Hmm, I don’t think that would sell very well either. It is almost as bad at the one about math.

Shannon McGinn is a running coach based in and around Woodbridge, NJ. Checkout Shannon’s blog,Creating Momentum for more ideas and thoughts that inspired “High Mileage And Low Injury Rate”.

USA-TF 50k Nationals: Caumsett Park, LI, NY 3/3/13

Jessi Kennedy, John Price, Me, Alanna Garrison-Kast,
 John Phelan, and Dave Lettieri

For the months leading up to the 50k Nationals, this race has dominated my training focus.  I race often. Not all of those races are goal races. Sometimes I fumble, especially when I race too beat up from training or too soon after recently racing.  However, I know that even those races have value to me and that is why I keep doing it.

After running a 4:10 at the BUS Fat Ass 50k in December, I wanted to try to go sub-4:10 at Caumsett. In the last week of January through first two days of February, I logged a 90 mile week.  I knew I wanted to reach 100 miles for the week one month out from Nationals. In February, I started tracking my "rolling 7 days" mileage (i.e. not just calendar weeks, but rather what I was running in every new 7 day period).

On Monday, February 4, I hit 100 miles in the last 7 days.  From February 4 through February 17, I worked harder than I ever had before to maintain 100-110 miles in every 7 day period, giving me two more calendar weeks of 100 miles per week.

I noticed that I was STARVING all the time (not really a surprise).  Rather than stick to my regular eating habits, I ate more of the healthier foods I normally eat at home. I also lost the will to turn down sweets if they happen to cross my path out in the world. :)  I found that eating to fuel my trainings made it easier and easier to maintain the 14+ miles per day average that I needed (for 20 days in a row) to keep my rolling 7 day mileage at 100 + from Feb 4 - Feb 17.  I didn't feel like I was overeating, but I did notice that my weight was going up.  I didn't have any over use issues, I wasn't too fatigued, and nothing hurt. People were commenting that I looked thinner. By February 17, I had gained back all of the 5 lbs I worked hard to drop last year.  I was a little concerned that maybe I inadvertently ate too much junk and somehow managed to blow high mileage training by getting fat during the process!

My last long run was a winter marathon in Albany. I ran this marathon as my "Run for Jenny" run and chose it because it was going to be tough.  I was hoping to finish, but knew it was more likely I would not.  You will see from my last race report, that I DNF'd that race at 21 miles mostly due to running extremely tired with no rest, but also due it being extremely windy and bitter cold.   I went to Albany, knowing the elements I would be exposed to would likely be so much worse than anything I would face at Caumsett Park at the 50k Nationals.  It was a race to give me perspective and it did it's job.

I got home from Albany knowing how tired I was at 13 miles and realizing I NEEDED to taper smartly for Nationals or I am going to blow it.  Tapering sounds simple but if you spend any time researching the best way to develop a taper, you will find a lot of variation.  The one common denominator is that almost everyone with credibility recognizes a taper works.   So I wrote out my taper plan.  In general I wanted to cut back from 100 mpw to 75-80 mile per week, then down to 50-60 mpw for the last week.  (I ran 78 miles and 55.5 miles in reality). I timed when I should be running my last fast runs.  I tried to NOT continue to eat the way I was when I was running 100 mpw.  I also made an effort to carb load the few days prior by shifting percentages for my meals that used to be higher protein to higher carbs. All I know is the night before the race I felt sluggish and fat. :)

PRE RACE THOUGHTS
I had, for the first time in my running career, executed as close to a "textbook training plan" as possible, then tapered, had remained healthy and carb-loaded before the race.  It was because I did everything "right" that I was TERRIFIED!  If I didnt' run well, the only reason I would have, besides possibly crappy weather, was that I screwed up the pacing and blew up trying to run too fast, or I was just too mentally weak to handle race stress.  I know what I have been through in life and I know I can be tough when it matters.  But after recently DNF'ing Albany and also blowing up at some longer races,  my confidence was a little shaky.

I am thankful for John and Alanna who made me laugh the entire drive up... with random statements like (Alanna (in serious matter-of-fact tone): "I love old houses... but they are all haunted") LOL!

WEATHER and GEAR
Weather was not terrible, but not perfect either.  It was more chilly than the previous years due a heavier wind off the water.  I really dislike wind.  I knew the wind was not going to be a factor around the entire course but there was definitely sections that we were going to face it.  It was no Albany!

I was planning on wearing shorts but once I got out of the car and realized it was a little more bitter than I had hoped, I was glad I had brought my capri pants too. Of course this meant I was going to be rocking a very geeky calf sleeve / capri pants look and one person said, "Um, why didnt you just wear pants."  I actually prefer the fit of my capris vs my tights and wanted more support for my calves.

As for shoes, I was debating what shoes to wear for about a week.  I had brand new Pure Connect 2 (and all my 50k PR's were set in Pure Connect originals).  I wore the Connect 2's on Friday and  decided I needed more time to break them in.  I had Pure Drifts, which are my lightest shoe but have a very wide and comfy toe box.  I wore them for a half and in Albany.  I noticed a little slippage in them and was concerned that  over 4 hours of running the slippage could equal blistering.  These may be better for shorter races.  We will find out later.  I had a pair of T7 racing flats which I decided that I would wear because I raced a fast marathon in them.  Despite them being heavier than my drifts and having a higher drop, I knew the fit was perfect and they had enough life left in them to carry me the distance.  I am so pleased with my shoe choice.  It was a great decision for me and I had 0 shoe issues.

THE RACE:
I could feel the tension building as I waited for the start.  I fueled up with Gatorade Prime, something I never tried before (yep, I did something new on race day! LOL).  I took a gel.  I even took four endurolytes in the cold, just for a little electrolyte insurance.  John Phelan and I jogged about 1 minute and then I kind of jumped around in place at the start just to stay warm. It is hard to warm up for a 31.1 mile race.  I saw John Price gave him a big hug.  Then I lined up behind Tim, who I ran a chunk of miles with at the BUS Fat Ass 50k.  He asked my plan and I told him "I want 7:40-7:45's for a long as possible." (I didn't tell him I wanted that for the entire race) :)

Math is easy on a 5k loop.  240 minutes is 4 hours.  24 minutes per 5k is 4 hours for 50k. 7:44 pace is sub-4. I wanted to sneak in just under 24 for as long as possible and try to hold on for 10 laps.  I knew if I had a shot at sub-4, it had to be as even as possible or I would risk blowing up.

Lap 1 - Litte bit of a fast start, but I got it down to 7:28 for M1.  I settled in to my goal pace after mile 1 and rounded out the start/finish mat in 23:45.  On the spur before the finish, I counted 9 women ahead of me.  I felt good, but not great.  I still felt tired.  (I had run 8.5 easy miles the day before. After reviewing my log and finding that I have run between 5-16 miles the day before PR races with my best race having a 8.5 mile run the day before.  Next time, I think I'll run only 4-5 the day before.  I think 8.5 may have been too much for no real reason).

Lap 2 - I noticed on the windy part, my legs felt very tired.  It was too early to work hard.  I remembered something that Beau Atwater had said to me years ago in casual conversation at a 5k. He was sharing about when he trained hard using the Hanson plan for a sub-3 marathon. He had said his mileage was the highest he ever trained and when he got to mile 4 of his marathon, his leads felt tired and this made him nervous.  But, they never got worse and he ran strong the entire way and even walked off the course stronger than ever.  That thought helped me because my legs were a little tired it was about mile 4. Thank you Beau!  I came through just seconds under my goal time for the 10k split.  Lap time: 24:13.

Lap 3 - I noticed I was not getting more tired and my pace was solid.  I started to thinking about the 386 miles I ran in 30 days 2 weeks before my taper.  It had to mean something.  It had to matter.  I tapered, I was healthy, and there is no reason, except stress or poor pacing, that was going to cause me fail now.  I visualize dumping the weight off my shoulders.  I imagined dumping pounds of stress and pressure I put on myself while reminding myself that stress cannot help me now.  (Stress is good if it makes me train more.  But on race day, stress seems useless.)  I actually did feel better.  Lap time: 23:54 (perfect).

Lap 4 - I reminded myself that I just needed to get to lap 5 and then I start counting down. In the past, if I was going to blow up, I generally know it by the half way mark.  I usually stick it out until 2/3 of the race then I drop if it is really over.  If I can get to 5 laps and feel ok, I usually can suck it up and hold on for the other half.   In this lap, I took my first gel. Lap time: 23:44.  Good!

Lap 5 -  Here we go!  I knew that I should be lapping some of my friends on this lap b/c I had a few people planning to run 5-6 hours.  As I came around towards the finish, I saw my people and the encouragement was motivating!  Half way: 1:59:10!  Lap Time: 23:41.   If I stayed steady and held on sub-4 was possible!

Lap 6 - Here I was starting to get tired and began to play mind games with myself on purpose.  I would think lap 6, 4 to go!  But that is actually not true.  I was working lap 6, and had 4 full ones after that. It was nice to start over with the math, and I knew I needed to come in under 2:24 to be on sub-4 pace. Lap Time: 23:46. Still on pace!

Lap 7 - I was getting tired, but I had my second gel planned for this lap.  I was supplementing my fuel with cups of gatorade on both sides of the course, so I did not need a lot of gels.  In all my best 50k I used only 2 gels,  plus one at the starting line, as long as I could get at least abt 6 oz of gatorade per lap.   I was grabbing cups, drinking a mouthful, dumping the rest.  I was likely getting about 3 oz of gatorade 2 x per lap.   I took my gel, convincing myself that it was liquid energy and it was going to be rejunevating! Lap Time: 24:18.

Lap 8 - Ok. That gel wasn't super rejuvenating, but it did it's job.  I new I had 3 laps left, but I kept repeating to myself, just 2 to go!  Here I was at about the point where if I am going to drop, it is going to happen.  My legs were getting heavy and I was getting concerned that I was going to crash.  I started questioning my pace plan?  Was sub-4 too ambitious?  Should I have started at 7:50?  Then I shook these thoughts away and knew, I should be shooting for sub-4 because I worked hard for it.  I also knew that if I didn't make it, I was still going to be happy because I tried and I set myself up nice for a substantial PR.  I knew I was also starting to get too warm and tried to get my jacket off, but had to take off my Garmin and that was a pain to do. I lost a few second dealing with that train fiasco.  Lap Time: 24:47

Lap 9 - Here is where the suffering begins!  With my head down, eyes on the road, trying to not waste any energy at all, I moved forward.  I knew my pace was slowing a bit beyond what I needed and I still had a 10k left.  The wind was feeling harder than ever.  People gave me encouragement. I couldn't even lift my head. My legs were starting to get very tired.  Thoughts of walking began to creep into my thought.  I started to think: "I don't care what happens now.  I know I tried.  I went for it and it is what it is."  Then I got mad at myself for thinking like that because I know that I do care!  I worked hard and I care what happens!  I dont care whether I tried. I always try. This time, I cared whether I succeed.  I knew sub-4 would be awesome but it was not going to happen today.  A low- 4 hour time would be a awesome too!  I knew running every single step non-stop is a what I wanted to do again.  I wanted success not just a good effort.  So I ran up those hills as best I could.  Lap time: 25:13.  (Sub-4 was gone, but sub-4:05 was still possible).

Lap 10 -  Just like last year, I was getting a little light headed and wobbly on the way out.  I couldn't talk.  I couldn't smile.  John Phelan said I looked like I was either very angry or about to cry.  I know I was inside myself and it hurt in there.  I was worried I was going to pass out.  My legs were now concrete but I knew the first half of the lap is good to me.  We get some down hills that feels good.  I worked those the best I could.  Once I got over the hills I knew I was going to complete this without walking and that is meaningful to me.  The last out and back spur was the last windy part and it was hard.  I tried to dig for anything, but I had nothing left.  I felt proud to have given my all.  Lap Time: 26:03

Stats:
Time: 4:03:28 (7:50 pace)
OA place 18th
Gender place: 7th Female!
39-under division - 6th

I was 10 minutes faster than last year, but still 7th Female. I will take it!  

I can't express how happy I am.  I trained hard. I tried to be smart. I managed the stress.  The last 10k of this race was incredibly hard and I am so proud that it did not break me.   Training works! Who knew?  :)

Winter Marathon, Albany, NY. 2/17/13. (Racing off high volume and no rest).

This was never a goal race, but I did go planning to finish it.  I know that it is always a windy,  it is winter, and it is Albany, so it is going to be cold.  None of that was a shocking surprise.

There were three reasons why I went to this race. (1) I thought it would be a good place to take a beating and toughen me up a bit, (2) I wanted to use this as my last long run before a race in March, and (3) I just wanted to see what it would feel like to run a race off of NO rest at all after running the highest mileage by far of my life and after running 20 miles the day before.

I have hit 100 miles in a week in training but usually the week before and the week after were less mileage.  It was always a major accomplishment for me to see triple digits.  However, in the last 4 weeks I have had by far the highest volume of training of my life with 70, 90, 100, and 100.8 miles in that time. The day before the marathon I ran a double, 15 miles in the morning and then 5 at night.  I had no intention of going in rested and I just wanted to see how hard it would feel to run tired.

In fact, my focus for the last 14 days has been to keep my "Last 7 Days" of mileage rolling along at 100 or more. That meant for the last 20 days I was averaging 14+ miles per day. My average pace for this effort was about 9:20.  Not blistering fast, but all a good effort.

In the back of my mind, I wondered if my body had acclimated so much in the last 4 weeks that I could run a fast marathon on no rest at all.  I also wondered when the suffering would start and how bad it was going to be.  I just wasn't sure what to expect.

John P. arrived at my house at 5:45 am.  I knew he would be there at 5:45 because I told him to be there at 6:00 am. I drove the 3 hours up to Albany while John reported the catastrophic weather report... "19 degrees, feels like 2 degrees with winds at 20 mph and gusting to 40+mph."  I refused to believe him.  This was likely going to be the coldest marathon I have ever run, but I have trained with Alanna in colder weather for hours so I wasn't too worried about not being able to tolerate it if I dressed properly.  But that was the hard part, to decide what to wear so I can race fast while also staying warm.

My long runs with Alanna involved lots of layers and my super warm mittens.  I knew there was no way I could open gels and handle water/gatorade with bulky mittens, so I opted for my convertible glove/mittens (gloves that have a slip over cover that make they wrap fingers like mittens).  My head was warm in a fleece hat and I had a neck wrap I could pull up over my face to block the wind. I wore bike shorts and compression sleeves under my tights, and that was a good choice.  My knees felt cold but everything else was warm enough.  I also wore a thin sleeveless tech shell, two thin long sleeve layers and a light jacket.  All layers were very thin, and wicking and I felt great in that amount of clothing.  Cold at first, but warm while running hard.

The race was small with a relay.  I started up front.  I got an early lead and then got passed by a girl in pink by the time we reached the clock that told us it was 19 degrees at best in the windless sun. She passed me and slowed to my pace, so I sat behind her. If I tried to pass, she would take a few quick strides and stay ahead.  I was content to sit. I was trying to hold my pace around 7:20 and that is where we were.

We finished lap 1 and on lap 2 I did manage to pull ahead when we she slowed a teeny bit.  I was hoping the temps were rising but it was still 19 on the clock.  With the winds it really felt much colder.

I felt good on this second lap, even after being handed the icy cup of water at the aid station.  At mile 6 I took a gel from my pocket it an was a frozen mess.  I opened it, held it in my cold hand and it never really warmed up.  I was able to get it out in small batches and wash it down with cups of slushy icy water.  I can't explain how demotivating ice water is at a race that is below freezing.

I tried to stay focused and my pace was still mid-7:00's on average, but the wind was kicking up harder. The struggling started when fighting the heavy gusting and this gave me enough information to know just how bad my body is beaten from the 380+ miles in the last 30 days, 20 the day before.

On Lap 3, I tried to focus on the nice parts of the course.  The shielded parts where 19 felt balmy or the down hills which felt nice to run fast, but I was loosing this battle fast.  The uphills into the wind were kicking my butt and burning my quads.  I was still lead women, but I already knew that it was just a matter of time until I get passed me.  My pace was fading to the 8:00 in the windy parts and my quads felt like DOMS was setting in as I ran.

As I came around to the end of Lap 3 (abt 15 miles), we hit an incline into the headwind and I knew I was done seeing 7's for the day.  I ran through the turn around and saw John who said he was done running.  I was so sad to hear this.  I managed to convince him to come back out with me for one more slow lap.

I didn't NEED to finish this race. I needed just 20 miles to maintain my streak of 100 miles in 7 days and that last lap would do it for me. I did think if I ran a slower lap with John, I would likely still go out and finish the last loop just to complete the distance even if the time was slow.

As John and I started off, I got another cup of ice water from the aid station volunteer, I asked him if he could set me on fire because I was freezing.  I was feeling depleted, like I could use a gel but all my gels were frozen in my pocket.  I didn't even bother to try to get one open.  The wind was worse on this lap than the one before. John told me about some pain he had in his foot that made him think that stopping was a good idea. We took it slow to see whether he thought his foot pain would stop him.  It didn't.

Because I had slowed down significantly and possibly because I drank a cup of ice water and ran off into a 40 mph head wind, I suddenly became overwhelmingly cold.  My hands went numb and I didn't notice at first.  As we ran along, suddenly my finger tips and nail beds became extremely painful. John told me to pull my fingers out of the finger holes and make fists inside my gloves.  I realized then that I couldn't move my fingers.  John grabbed my hand to try to help me pull my fingers out of the gloves and my nail beds and finger tips hurt so bad when he touched them that I had to stop moving.   I was considering just turning back.

John had ski gloves on. He pulled my gloves off my and gave me his.  We started running again while I warmed up. After back in motion for awhile my hands warmed within his gloves. It was a while before he would finally accept his gloves back and I took mine. I didn't want his hands to freeze but he is a good friend and helped me to not cry in public.

My gloves were soaked with probably a combination of sweat and water from the water stops. I wondered if it was likely that the wet gloves were freezing on my hands (at least the finger tips) and my finger were starting to get frostbite?  My nails have felt bruised since, but nothing turned black and blue.

We plodded through the lap, I reported that I had planned to go back out for the last lap because I could still be under 4 hours, but after one hard gust I simply decided that it was not worth it to me anymore.

We finished the lap, jogged until my Garmin rounded me out to 21 miles and went inside for hot chocolate and soup.  We took off shortly after and we were home before sun-set.

I learned a lot of lessons while out there.

First, I will not run a marathon in temperature that "feel like" single digits ever again.  This is not the first time I had severe pain from cold hand, but this is the worst pain I ever experienced.

Second, I proved to myself that running fast and far without any rest off of super high mileage is really hard to do. I am proud of those 21 miles in 2:57.  Even with a slow last 5 miles my pace was still 8:26. I was holding about 7:30's for the first 15.  I feel that was a good run for me under the circumstance.

Third, I learned that my suspicion that I would not need a taper was not actually based on my belief that I have become really strong and fit from high mileage, but more driven by my fear that if I drop my mileage down to under 100 in 7 days, I may never get back up to that mileage again without injury.

I have been very proud of running so much without any issues.  It was a lot of work to get up to 100 miles in 7 days.  Over time I was surprised to find that it felt easy to maintain 100 miles in 7 day.   It is harder for me to build up than to sit at high volume, so I know dropping down will mean I have to build up again.  I wanted to avoid the build, not avoid the taper.

I have a race I would like to do well at in two weeks.  I do not want to feel like I did at this marathon.  I would like to feel more like I did at my last 50k, when I started that one well-rested.  So I started my taper today.  Hopefully in 3 weeks I will be back up to 100 miles in 7 days again, where I have been very happy to sit for almost the entire month of February.

FARC 5k Season Closer, Freehold NJ. 2/3.

Logging High Training Mileage:
January was a moderately-sized mileage month.  I was hoping for over 300 miles but ended just over 285.  Not ideal, but December was over 300 so maybe I needed the rest.  I gained a few pounds and I am not thrilled about that.

To get back on track, I made a concerted effort to run more.  However, what I found was that even though I am a little heavier, my running feels easier at training paces.  I feel too heavy for racing paces so this is clearly not my optimum weight, but after the last three days of high mileage I am pleased with my ability to run far and feel good.

I run a lot of doubles and sometimes triples to get to high mileage without injury.  I would like to work on keeping the doubles, but growing the length of one of the run, making the double feel more optional and recovery-paced only.  Looking back over my log, Thursday and Friday I managed over 13 miles.  Saturday I started with a 15.3 mile Team in Training Run, then ran 6 more on my own only later to be invited by Sidney to run with him and Enzo for another 5 giving me over 26.3 for the day, Saturday.

As for today (Sunday), previously I invited Alanna, Dave, and Kathleen to join me for a long double-digit warm up before a cheap 5k club race and then a few miles of cool-down.  I hoped for 20 miles by the end of the day. 16 miles would hold me at 90 miles for the last 7 days.  So 16-20 miles was my goal.

Eleven Miles of Warm Up! What? :)
We got started about 7:30 am and Alanna as our fearless Sherpa, lead us through the streets of Freehold and the dirt packed, snow covered roads of Turkey Swamp Park.  We logged about 11 miles and Oh Boy were my legs tired.  I felt like a slug but I had logged a lot the day before and I was purposefully training depleted (with minimal fuel) for my own good reasons.  This made the easy pace feel hard.

We got back to the park and I had brought a some clothes to change into while in my car.  I needed to get out of my heavy winter layers and into something more race friendly.  I wanted to try my Brooks Drifts in shorter race to see if I still love them as much as I did in the half (OMG, do I!). They are a really comfortable shoe and I actually didn't even change out of them for my cool down.

Being in lighter clothes, with still a sweaty sports bra on under it all, in 25 degrees made me feel so cold. I was so ready to just get in my car and drive home. But I already dropped the hefty $5 race fee for the race so there was no turning back now!

FARC 5k Race and Spontaneous Pacing of a Super Star in the Making!
Dave and I head up front.  Alanna and Kathleen decide to move back.  It was small club run.  I just wanted some fast mileage after a ton of slow training.  I am focusing my thought on Caumsett where I would like to run faster than 4:10.  I need to be comfortable running sub-8's and as deep into the 7's as possible in order to run well.  I need to be able to sustain that.  Running faster than 7 on tired legs should help me.

I had logged 37+ miles in the 27 hours prior to this race, so my body was sufficiently pummeled and running fast was going to feel very hard.  We took off and I tried to move, but my legs felt like limp spaghetti especially as I worked the pace down under 7:00.  Within the first quarter mile, I had to slow down as I started to worry that I might actually pull something running too fast while too tired in too cold air.

At some point just past the mile mark, a young girl in a bright pink cruised up next to me. As she began to overtake me she offered some incredibly kind words often not heard uttered by young teenagers in the mist of competition.  She politely said "Come with me.  Let's do this together!"   OMG!  My heart melted right there.  What a sweetheart.

My response: "Oh no. I can't. But you go without me.  I ran a lot yesterday and I am pretty much toast."  We were hovering at close to 6:55 instant pace at that point after a bit of a faster start.  I hoped to pick up my pace over the distance running this 5k as a Progression run.  Secretly I was hoping to catch back up to Dave, who pulled significantly ahead of me from about .25 into this thing.  After the girl pulled ahead, either she faded or I started to reel her back in as I speed up.

As I caught back up to her, we were moving up an incline and I could hear her working for it.  We settled in together and I offered some encouragement back.   I generally do not offer race advice in the midst of a race, but I felt compelled to assess whether she could or was even interested in talking to me.  We exchanged names.  She asked how far I ran yesterday. I told her I ran over a marathon in mileage.  She did a double take.  Since she asked some questions first, I asked her what her PR was.  Like a true racer she said "On this course,  I run about 21:30 -21:40." I loved that.  She didnt give her all time PR. She gave relevant useful data.  (This race is a weekly series and she has run there the last 4 weeks consistently in that range).  However, being that we were about 6:53,  sub 7 min miles was unlikely to get her a PR.  For some reason, I suddenly wanted to see her do amazing.

Stride by stride we ran, as I purposefully pushed down our pace down from 6:50... to 6:40... just to see when she faltered... i noticed at 6:41 she would start to breath hard right before letting up off the throttle a lot.  She was all or nothing (kind of like me).

But we were at 2 miles now. I slowed down a bit while encouraging her back up to me. I asked her to focus on just getting to 2.5 and worry about the rest later.  She was tough, she dug down and caught up.   I told her just abt 1 mile left.  Stride for stride we ran.  I talked about hugging the tangents and not giving away her hard work.  I shared some thoughts about  not fighting so hard to work the uphills, but rather to let the natural slow down happen while planning to make it all up on the down hills.

We hit 2.5 and I let her know that if she stayed strong she was getting a PR.  She didnt say much but seemed to respond and appreciate that data.  She pushed our pace, but then would fade a little, but always came back from it.  We were at 6:40 pace as we approached 2.8 miles and I asked her if she has a kick.  She honestly said "Sometimes." I liked that.  She was a good judge of herself.  I really wanted her to kick.  I wanted her to kick past me in the last .10.  I wanted her to finish strong and have a good memory of the race experience.  I didn't want to push her so hard that she blew up before she could drop her speed.

As we hit the last cone, we were running 6:36 pace. I told her she was running great. She responded by picking it up.  My watch beeped for 3 miles and I advised that we were now running 6:24's, we had only a 10th to go and it is time to GO!  I kicked and she was right with me.  Stride for stride, but about half way to the finish she let up and let me go.  I thought she was going dig deep and blast by me into the shoot.  But she did not.

I crossed 21:03 and she was 21:05. She PR's on this course by about 30 seconds!  I was so incredibly happy for her.  She made me forget how tired I was by giving me a focus.  I learned just how much fatigue is truly a state of mind.

We did a short cool down together and I asked her if she would ever run a marathon.  I loved her answer.  She didnt say "Oh boy, that is SO far!" or "I don't know if I can!"  Instead, she said very matter of factly, "I am too young. I am only 15."  I let her know that ultras let 15 year old in. :)

At the end of the race, they called the overall leader names.  My name was announced as 2nd Female. She was 3rd.  I was in the back talking to (a different Dave).  The girl was closer to the front.  She could have walked up on her own and got her applause.  But she didn't.  She waited, she looked for me, and gave me a HUGE smile and a High-5 as  we walked up together to get our wool hats prizes and our photo taken together.

More Mileage
I logged about 16.1 miles at the race with warm up and cool down.  I got home and once again Sid was waiting for me to go for a run.  He, Enzo and I logged 4.5 more at the park.  It was so cold that Enzo's fur got covered in dirty icicles by the end of the run. (He didn't even seem to notice!)  I got my 20.5 for the day!

Looking back, I am in pleased with the mileage I have run in the last few day.  I am doing it while feeling relatively strong in comparison to how I have felt at other high mileage weeks. It is a gift when running feels this way.

Stats:
400 days running since 2012 = 3800.5 miles for an average of 9.5 per day
In the past 4 days I have logged 73.2 miles.
In the month Feb (past 3 days) I have logged 60.2 miles
In the last 2 days I logged 46.9
In the 5k (after 37+ miles): 21:03 (6:47)
2nd Female in a tiny club race
Awesome experiencing witnessing a kind young girl run her heart out in the cold.

Thank you for reading!

Key West Half Marathon, Key West, Fl. 1/20/13

Each year, Sidney rents a single engine plane and logs a bunch of flight time getting us to this race. This trip is a perfect combination of our interests. He focuses on logging flight hours while mine is on logging miles.  He doesn't actually even bother to train for this.  He does run regular 3-4 milers 3-4 times per week with Enzo. He may randomly log a longer run with me and Enzo if we have time.

We got a late start flying down to Key West due to some freak winter weather dumping snow in the southeast. Since we couldn't leave on Thursday as planned, Sidney, Enzo, and I ran 7.5 miles of hilly trail and Sid declare his training complete :).   Friday we left for Boca Raton, visited with him mom Saturday and arrived in Key West at close to 7 p.m Saturday night.  We had enough time to get our bibs, check into our hotel, and wait for a table at Blue Heaven.  They told us a 45 minute wait and it was already getting late.  We were so tired that we figured since the race was doomed anyway so we might as well have a glass of wine.  By 11:30 we finally settled in for the night with a 5:15 am wake up call for the morning so we would have enough time for coffee, to walk Enzo, and then get to the race on the other side of the island.

We were at the race location 6:20, parked, and got ready.  We then realized we were parked illegally.  We moved to the garage and finally got on the porta-potty line with 15 minutes to go.  With 6 minutes until gun time, we only had time to make out way through the crowd to get up as far front as possible.  It was impossible to get up front.  We had a start mat and B-tag on our Bib, so we just settled in about 1/4 of the way deep behind the start line.

What this race means to me:
Early January 2007, I had my last infusion of my year long (once every 3 weeks) infusions of Herceptin.  This was the last injection of my cancer treatment.  It is an a immunotherapy drug aimed to reduced my extra high (a greater than 50% chance) of recurrence risk down to the average amount cancer recurrence risk.  It has a 3 week life span once infused.  Despite the reports that this infusion had few side effects, it made me feel terrible, effecting my joints and my memory.

I had decided back in October 2006 to run that race (I believe my friend Kerry who was training for her Team in Training Tri had suggested we do it, then she couldn't go).  Sidney signed up with me.  I knew that if I had completed all my infusions on schedule by this last weekend in January, I should officially be "cancer treatment free" with all the drugs out of my system.  I wanted to celebrate my survivorship in a special way and we decided to go to paradise and run out butts off.

Sidney didn't really train for it, but I was only able to get my run/walk training mileage up to 10 miles with 2 minutes of walking each mile.  I hope to break 2 hours 30 minutes that day in 2007.  Sidney ran the race with me.  We ran all the way to Mile 2 and then walked one minute at that mile marker and each mile thereafter.  This was the longest distance I had ever covered on foot in my life and my first half marathon back.  Sidney encouraged me to kick in the finish since there was a girl trying to pass us. He didnt want her to pass me.  He finished just 3 seconds behind my 2:01:29.  I could not believe I ran that fast!

Each year, with the exception of 2010, Sidney and I return to Key West to run this half.  To keep things historically accurate, Sidney doesn't train for it.  We used to start together, but as I became more serious about racing, he encouraged me to try to run my best from the gun.

Ironically, this race is always my absolute worst half marathon of the year.  It is usually very warm and unbearably humid especially in comparison to the NJ winter weather that I run in.  In the past I tended to take my rest periods from hard training/racing during December - January and found myself alway heading to Key West untrained and out of shape.   My lack of acclimation, lack of preparation,  plus my natural intolerance to oppressive humidity generally crumbled me by mile 7 of this race each year.  Yet year after year we return, knowing that we are going to suffer.  Year after year Sidney and I finish this race and immediately discuss how next year "We are gonna train for it!" . . . and then we don't.

2013
This year was the first year I showed up in shape. Streaking and trying to hold close to a 9.5 mile per day average has keep my mileage up all winter.  I just raced my PR 5k and 50k in the last month. However, it didn't seem matter because this was turning out to be the warmest most humid year and the biggest race ever.  In the past, (beside that one freak year when the temps were in the 50's), the race usually starts mid-60's.  This year it was 70 at the start.  The humidity was ridiculous and I knew I was going to suffer.  I recieved a message from Alanna wishing me luck and I responded something about it being too hot and we are just going to take it easy.

The gun went off and over 30 seconds later we crossed the line.  Because the start was in a narrow area there was no way to get running right away.  After a few seconds of shuffling behind people, I finally decided to just weave my way through.  Sure this method wastes energy, but it also saving me time.

After about a half mile, I was finally cleared to run more freely.  As I tried to drop my pace, I could feel how hard it was to move through the thick humid air.  I had my Garmin, but at Mile 1 when I split it rather than show me my split I got a message that advised me that my database was full and I needed to delete stuff to store info.  If I waited longer, my split would have flashed up but I didn't want to spend 20 seconds staring at my wrist.  I split each mile, but never looked at my splits.  Unfortunately I only was able to record 6 miles of the race.

The race used a new course. It was now an out and back which meandered us through mallory square, through twists and turns of some shady streets past the Southernmost Point Buoy before sending us up the shade-less coast from  mile 3 through the turn around and then back.  

Once out of the pack, I was able to hold about a 7:15 pace comfortably but moving faster than that was too hard to sustain.  I settled on the fact that I would not be setting any PR's today.  I hoped that as the temperature rose I would be deep enough into this race to manage to run under 1:40.  I believe my best Key West half was a 1:41, despite running a 1:34 the fall before that one.

The miles through the streets went fast.  The turns, although slow by nature, kept the course interesting and shadiness of the streets helped.  But once we hit mile 3, we were on the long stretch up the cost.  I liked the idea of a turn around because it allowed me to get some information about where I was in the pack and I could see Sidney on my way back.   My slow start allowed me the opportunity to pick off ladies the entire way up the coast.  This was motivating.  I felt I was moving very steady and I did not have to make any adjustments to my speed to pass the women I passed on the way.  When I looked at the Garmin data it shows me moving between 7:09 and 7:19 for the first 6 miles, with an average pace of 7:12.  Mile 6 was my slowest and this was just as I started to feel the head and the sun beating on me.

I was over heating so much that I was grabbing two cups of water at each stop, one to drink and one to dowse myself with.  The water stops were plentiful.  In addition to water they had mixed accelerade, which I though tasted horrible and actually spit it out.  I had taken a gel right before the start and had one more on me.  I was able to take my gel at mile 6 without any issues.  I actually did not feel like I needed it, but since I could tolerate it, I took it for insurance purposes.

On the 3.5 mile stretch back along the coast, the sun was out and it was kicking my butt.  The only person I could see was a guy in a black shirt and grey shorts.  I  focused on him and I worked hard to catch him.  I started to pass him but realize I was getting tingly and goose-bumpy and a bit light headed.  I had to back down. He commented "Are you pacing off me?"  I laughed, tried to say something witty but can't remember what that was.   I looked ahead, and there was literally no one in front of us that we could see.  I said "Look, We are winning!"  He laughed and looked behind us, saw no one in the distance and said "Actually, I think we are the only ones here!"

If we were not passing runners coming towards us, we would have been running completely alone.  I looked back and I could not see another man or woman for minutes.  It was odd.  The guy in black/grey picked up the pace.  I tried to hang with him, but I could feel it was too fast for 5 miles to go.  We started to catch a guy who was walking.  He said "Hey, we are going to pass someone... they are starting to drop now!"

He was right, they were dropping.  I told him "Go get him!" I had to let him go or I would be dropping too.   He didn't get very far ahead of me and I was able to still stick with him from just a few yards behind.  Together we managed to reel in and pick off several men in the last 4 miles of the race.

However by mile 10, I started suffering.  It wasn't just the heat.  It was my feet!  I had been concerned about my feet because I tried out a new pair of Pure Drifts after just one run and hoped they would feel good for a half.  The shoes were actually perfect. They are incredibly light. I keep the insole in so the drop was 4 mm, which I know is fast for me.  I didn't even notice I had shoes on.  They responded perfectly with my high-arched forefoot striking style of running.  I plan to wear them in as many races I can.

My foot problems resulted from my socks getting soaking wet from all the water I was dumping on me to stay cool. In most hot races, the water evaporates.  However Key West is one the most humid race I run.  In really humid conditions, nothing evaporate.  My lightweight shorts didn't even dry out during the run and got so heavy they were falling  down.  When I tugged them back up, the tugging pulled the safety pins through the dissolving soaking wet paper bib that carried my chip.  OMG!

Any water that collected in my shoes stayed their and my socks became soaked.  The dampness loosened the KT tape I use on my feet to keep my plantar fasciitis in check.  The tape balled up creating hot spots just under the balls of my feet. OUCH!  Each stride I took up on my toes was burning a blister bigger and bigger into the skin of the balls of my feet.  I had to sit back on my heels to avoid the pain, which is just unnatural, slow, and sluggish for me.  With 3 miles to go it was too early to tear up my feet.  I could probably tolerate tearing skin for about a mile, but not 3.

The course was marked in kilometers as well and it was nice to start to click of K's instead of Miles.  After the 5k, we returned to the streets.  I welcomed the shadier parts of the course, but the turns were killing my blisters.  I was truly in a lot of pain.  The last time I burned my feet up like this was chasing Enzo down the hot black-top in mid-day summer heat while barefoot when he escaped from the yard on 4th of July.

I held my position with only 3k to go.  There was no one in sight behind me. But I missed my 10k split and had I had no idea what my time would be.  About mile 12, I saw my garmin reading 1:27.  I was surprised to learn I had a great shot at 1:35 if I hurried.  I sucked it up, got back up onto the blistered balls of my feet into my fast running stride, the pain passed quickly, and I started to reel in the guy in black and grey.  With less than a mile to go, he then picked it up again and I knew I wasn't catching him.  But I also knew I was going to hold my spot as 6th woman!

I looked down and saw my bib was now dangling by one safety pin and my black shorts were covered in paper pulp.  I can't understand how a bib that meant to carry timing chip cannot withstand being doused with water.  What happened if it rained?    I tried to tuck it in my shorts but it awkward and I just hoped it was going to work when I crossed the line. (It did!).

I pushed in the final stretch and finished right behind the guy in grey shorts I followed for the last 6 miles.  He and I exchanged congratulations.  I commented about the only thing on my mind at that moment, that my bib was falling off and I hope it worked.  He laughed, said his did too and he had to carry it with him for most of the end of race.  LOL!

I waited for Sidney, who regardless of his lack of actual training for this event,  always manages to run the whole way at a comfortable pace.  We asked two volunteers when awards for the half would be and we were told 11:00 am.  It was 9:00 am so we returned to the hotel to shower, eat breakfast and check out.  At 11:00 we returned to discover they already announced and distributed awards.  I picked my 3rd place Age Group award and Sid, Enzo, and I headed off to the airport to head north with out first stop being Myrtle Beach.

Stats:
Chip Time: 1:34:57
6th place female
1st in Age Group
28 of 1119 Overall

CJRRC Hangover 5k Run, Westfield, NJ. 1/1/13

Decisions... Decision...
It was about last fall that I started to get excited about the USATF-NJ Long Distance Running (LDR) Grand Prix Race Series.  I wasn't focused on the series races at the start of last year.  I missed filling up my scorecard the way I could have had I actually paid better attention.  I made a strong push from September on and scored well managing to place 2nd in my Age Group in the statewide race series, just 4 point shy of first. I decided that  in 2013 I would try to pick races better and keep my head in the game. :)

The series can be a lot of fun if you let it.  If you want to do well you can spend too much time trying to research the race options to select races where you will get the most points.  Because I tend to place towards the front in either big or small races, it is to my advantage to show up to large races.   However, if I have a shot to win a small race, then that would be the best choice unless I don't win, then the big race is better... decisions, decisions.... :)  

There were about 4 New Years day races to pick from.  Most were Cat I races, but there was one 5 mile Cat II race that I could have picked.  Last year I was scrambling for Cat II races so getting one done early was tempting.

Ultimately I opted to head to Westfield.  I knew I had a good shot at top 5 finish if I ran like I did at the Ashenfelter 8k where I ran 6:25 pace.  I have never broke 20 minutes in an actual 5k race, so I was interested in trying to run sub-20 pace again to make it official.

The Weather
The weather was perfect for a good race.  In the 30's, but a bit confusing.  There were ice patches everywhere, but the air temp felt comfortable.  If running into the wind, it felt cold.  Otherwise it felt wonderful.  I was sure I was over dressed in capris, a long sleeve tech shirt with a t-shirt over that, my Senna hat, gloves, and a neck warmer and T7 racing flats.  Most were in even more layers than me.  Only Nuno showed up half naked today, in just shorts and sneakers.  I wanted to give him my top layer shirt, but he looked happy and he runs fast so I knew he would be ok.

The Race
We start by running uphill and complete one full declining lap around the park.  We head back up that hill and halfway around the park we head out onto the streets.  We get routed back into the park and are rewarded with a downhill stretch to the finish.  Despite the two uphills (not a major hill, but steep enough to slow my pace), the downhill finish makes this course fast.

I line up towards the front.  In this series, score is by placement over the line.  There is no start mat and the field was about 800 runners.  Starting deeper was not helpful in this competition.  I was confident I could run the pace the people around me would be running so I stayed there.

Gun Goes Off and up the hill we go.  I pass the one woman that was lined up in front of me and found my rhythm.  I felt good, looked at my watch and saw I was sub-6.  LOL!  I don't believe the instantaneous pace is truly accurate, but I needed an accuse to reign myself in and that was enough.  M1 6:15 

By mile one, people were calling out "First Woman!"  Since I started so far front, I didn't notice any ahead of me.  I wasn't confident I would stay in first place for the duration of the race, but I would try.  Back around the park and up the hill and could feel my chest burning.  My lungs hurt.  I had to make some whooping noises to clear them. People usually think I am really excited to be racing and often they whoop back!  LOL!!!  I knew mile 3 was going to be a gift, but I needed to catch my breath before I got there.  I was hoping that when I settled down with my pace, that I would not lose my position. I couldn't bear to look back to see if I was at risk.

People kept calling out "First Woman!" "First Woman!"and I felt like rock star.  But all I wanted to know was, "Where is Second?!" One benefit to running without head phones is you can listen to the race you are in.  I listened for the spectators to call out "Second Woman"... but I never hear it.  I pushed on because I didn't want to hear it just yet.  I never lead the Big local Races and 800 runners for a 5k is a big local race to me.  I hit mile two and refused to look at the split.  I knew I slowed but didn't want to see the damage. M2 6:37

Hard part of this race over, but I felt myself being over-taken as we entered the park.  It was only a matter of time before my lead got challenged.  I was so very happy to see that it was the guy who I had lined up next to at the start.  He shared some encouraging works and I tried to pick it up.

I was was heading back towards the finish, passing many still heading in the other direction. The positive cheers I got from the women, especially, was incredibly motivating. I listened for cheer for "Second Woman" and still heard nothing.  I dug in and ran hard, thinking if I get passed at this point and loose this win, I am going to make someone work for it.  M3 6:19

I can see the finish and it is so close. I am still heading down hill so I opened it up with everything I had.  I could see the 19 on the clock but it was going to be close.  The minute was almost over and I wanted that official sub-20 for the first time in my life.  Sub-20 after being a 23 minute XC 5k runner in high school many years ago.  Sub-20 after cancer and chemo and surgeries.  Sub-20 after a getting pummeled by and then managing this autoimmune malfunction. Sub-20 after having half my thyroid removed.  Sub-20 with mytral valve prolapse and exercise induced asthma.  After the 8k race I knew already ran sub-20, but it was not official and I wanted to see it for real so I could own it. Sub-20 and I will know the 8k wasn't a fluke.  But sub-20 just three days after running 50 miles in Texas.  That would make me feel good.  I really wanted this.  I dug deep.  I crossed the line and I heard again "First Female!"

Holy cow! I looked at my watch and it read 19:54! Yes! I did it!

A fellow runner, Joe, finished a bit ahead of me was at the finish.  He reached out for the hand shake, which I immediately turned into a hug because I was about to fall down. I couldn't suck in enough air to see straight.  I was having trouble getting my inhaler from my sports bra and the coughing was making me gag.  Oh crap!  I am about to throw up! No way!  I have never puked at the end of a 5k race!  But the gagging passed and I caught my breath enough for my vision to clear.

Second Woman?
After I got sweats on, the results were posted and I was listed 2nd Female.  What? Really?  Man, what a mood killer! It is possible that some chick may have been bundled in a hat or something and all those people along the way just missed her? But so many people told me I was "First Woman"... even at the finish line.  Or maybe someone had the wrong bib?  Couples accidentally swap bibs all the time?  Or maybe the runner was really a dude that got labeled a chick by mistake and it was just an error?  Once I ended up in the Male results, so this could be possible. I checked the name and it was "Jan".  Crap.  "Jan" sounds like a chick to me.  An older runner encouraged me to go confirm the result.

I found Fran and when I started to ask about the first place woman, she immediately reported. "Oh, don't worry.  We corrected that sex change we gave him by accident and he is happily back to being male." (or something like that).  She then gave me free reign to brag to all my friends that I was in fact the female winner! :)  Phew!  Runner's High back on in full force!

http://www.compuscore.com/cs2013/janfeb/cjhang.htm

Stats:
Time: 19:54:07 (6:25 pace)
Overall Place: 26/788
Gender 1/369 (and 500 points for the series)

Happy New Years and Thanks for Reading!

Houston (Half) Hundred, Houston TX, 12/29/12

On a whim, after dropping from Ancient Oaks at 70 miles, I registered for the Houston Hundred.  I wanted a do-over and felt I was trained for it.  I had scanned the race calendar and realized that next 100 miler I could get to would be in May and that was really far away.  I mulled over the idea a bit and pulled the trigger one night when I decided I needed to try once more.

I really should have had more self-restraint.  When I had registered for Houston, I had not been certain I would run the 50k the week before and if I did I wasn't planning to run it so hard.  However, I went to the BUS Fat Ass and ran my butt off.  I had a great race!  I was also sick for over a week, but really didn't think that I was too sick to go to Houston.  So Friday, after work, I caught my flight to Texas.

I told only a few people I was going because I really didn't have grand expectations, knew this could easily turn into a 10-12 hour training run, and didn't want anyone to set expectations for me. I just wanted to see what I could do on a flat, fast course, in a warm climate in December.  However, the weather was not warm.  A cold front came through and the temps were in the 30s with a strong wind on half the course.

I purposefully planned to try to sit at just under 11 minutes for as long as could knowing I will fade.  I hoped that maybe I could run 20-21 hours on this course and if I had a great day, break 20.  I figured I could nap in my car if I needed to after the run until I was able to drive back to my hotel nearby for a shower.  I could then get some sleep in a real bed through morning, when I would need to get ready to catch my flight home.   

I knew if I ended up going too slow or fading too fast, I could always drop down to a shorter distance to be safe.   24 hours for the 100 would have me finishing at 7:30 am.  I could still take a shower and pack up but I knew I would be extremely too tired to drive the 30 minutes to the airport safely.  There was a 30 hour cutoff but I didn't have that much time.  Because I came alone, there was big difference between me finishing in 21 hours vs 24 hours that only had to do with my concerns about how well I could function after the race and travel about safely.  When I am excessively tired very late at night, I am not coherent and I don't want to be a hazard in the world.

The week before, when I called out from work due to being sick, the 100k started sounding like a better idea.  Sid reminded me that the whole reason I was going to Texas was to try for one more shot at the 100 before I put them up on the shelf for awhile.  He was right.  I had already decided to focus on shorter runs in 2013.  So I went to Texas with the idea of trying to run a decent 100 if I could.

Part of my trouble with 100's is that somewhere along the way I have lost my ability to be patient.  I know that if I paced them slower, I would have a much better shot at completing the distance within the cut-offs.  My problem is I really truly just want to run a personal best 100.  The idea of starting too slow and not set myself up for my best time is hard for me to do.  I know and fear the fact that I will crash hard at 3 am. I have to plan for that break. I always crash.  My biorhythms call for sleep and are always too strong for me to fight.  In 24s, I tend to need to sleep for at least 60 minutes and usually much longer that that time.  I truly believe the best shot for me to get a 100 miler done is to either be done by 3 am or to be pretty darn close.  Starting at 12's  would work until I need to sit down, sleep, or  just stop moving for a while to regroup.

When saw the weather had shifted from warmer temps to cold temps (ranging from 32 feeling like high 20's through mid-50s) I was happy.  That sounded PERFECT!  My best races are in the cold.  Mid-50's is sport bra and shorts weather so it would still get warm.  This range is the fastest running temps.  30 is cold, but if you keep moving it doesn't have to feel bad.

However, it felt colder to me at the start.  We started off and made the left into the windy coldest part of the loop.  If not for that wind, the loop seemed like it could support really fast times.  It was a 2 mile flat all-purpose park path.  There were bathroom course side so you didn't need to go too far off the course for that. There was a well stocked aid station at the Start/Finish.  The race was chip timed.

The race directors were clearly passionate about putting on a well-executed race and did more than anyone could expect to make sure the runners were taken good care of.  They were amazing! This race was tiny and we spread out fast.  A super small field of maybe 20 runners.  The race can support a lot more.  The race if advertised as a 24 hour with a 100 mile/100k/50M/50k option would likely lure out more runners.  It is an idea 24 hour course, but 100 mile runners tend to look for trail.

The only thing that made this course slow for me was the wind and subsequent windchill.  It broke me down early.  I expected the early miles to be cold, but I was looking forward to stripping down to lighter clothes by noon for most of the day.  But the weather stayed too cold for me and I just could not warm up.   There was one lap in the entire race where I took my mittens off and my hands felt ok.  The rest of the race I was bundled up.  I know others were not as cold as me.  I just was not moving fast enough to get warm.

I knew by lap 3, I was not going to have a good day.  The slow pace I was running left me feeling like I was working too hard for the easy pace. I never got the adrenaline rush I get from running strong.  I ran in a funk for hours from the start of the race.

After 2 hours, I just started experimenting with different food hoping the funk would pass.  Food I never eat.  Food with gluten, which I avoid at these races. I cant eat gluten and run hard.  It upsets my system.  I can eat gluten and run/walk so I ate a donut. I hardly ever eat donuts.  I knew I was feeling crappy so what bad could a donut do.  If I didn't try something, I was surely ending sooner rather than later.

Nothing really helped me to feel better.  I think I just need to take sometime to unscrew my head, shake out all the junk related to stress and frustrations about running 100s and start over in the future.  I also think I need to make some big changes to my racing and training practices.

At about the 50k mark, I knew I was dropping down. I was not enjoying the experience. The weather was not warming up enough for me to stop thinking about the cold. I was feeling low,  down, cold, bored, and a little lonely.  All I could think about is "What the heck am I doing here?  I should be home, with Sid, and Enzo, and all the things that make me happy."  I got in my car and called Sidney.  He wasn't surprised that I was dropping down but he was surprised it happened so soon.  I wasn't happy and my heart just wasn't in this enough to want to deal with the cold night.   I knew I had a lack of pep in my legs from running a hard race the week before and that is why 11's felt like 9's.  I knew I was sick all week and that could have possibly mattered.  I knew I disliked running in wind, and it was there making me miserable lap after lap.

But honestly, it really wasn't all that bad. There are always challenges to face.  Trails, or Heat, or Hills, etc...  Here we had cold and some wind.  It wasn't impossible.  Clouds even rolled in and insulated the earth. The winds began to die down and it felt like it may have warmed a few degrees.  If I was in good spirits, I would have had no complaints.  I had a brief moment when I thought I could stay in it.  But as soon as it got a little bit colder,  that quickly passed.

At 45 miles in I decided the 100k sounded nice, but I wasn't truly motivated for that distance either.  At 48 miles, I decided I was done at 50 miles and I would go back to the hotel early.  I took about 10:36 for those 50 miles.  I was not happy with my performance but I was happy to have stopped.

I used my time out there to do a lot of thinking.

I had several important revelation. Some of these were about my life, my life with Sid, and my plans for the future.  I reaffirmed my thoughts about where I should focus my attention in my racing life.  I look forward to making some changes in the future in a way that will lead me back to the 100 mile distance stronger, fitter, and more confident in my ability.

I am not really surprised or disappointed with this run. I signed up on a whim.  I ran a fast 50k last weekend. I was feeling a little beat up at the start and I knew if I wasn't on pace for a great time, I was very likely to bail.  I wanted a 50 mile run at least and got that done so all is good.  Every race doesn't have to be a goal race.  This one never was.