tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54794579491853363962024-03-05T20:10:31.143-05:00Creating Momentum!Running Coach, Online -National/Worldwide, Local/In-Person - Woodbridge, NJ. Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.comBlogger238125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-76024042293210260432019-12-16T14:14:00.001-05:002019-12-16T14:15:11.972-05:00Sly Fox Brewery Half Marathon, Pottstown, PA, 12/15/19<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_2_i4tefNbr8pnUkrAmrdrBEMjev3dfxnEaEl4nWVcDIazMyr1myI9N43IMEslwvnBgmyjzBBoYPmIExQFnzr_l_JAD1fQ_vBCLOSwWEnggJW50ldB0rn8cLpWZ90BlgNrVxwPSejKg/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-12-16+at+1.35.12+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="754" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_2_i4tefNbr8pnUkrAmrdrBEMjev3dfxnEaEl4nWVcDIazMyr1myI9N43IMEslwvnBgmyjzBBoYPmIExQFnzr_l_JAD1fQ_vBCLOSwWEnggJW50ldB0rn8cLpWZ90BlgNrVxwPSejKg/s640/Screen+Shot+2019-12-16+at+1.35.12+PM.png" width="640" /></a>What a great way to end 2019! I drove almost 2 hours to PA this morning to see what I could do. This course was new to me. It was run on a trail along a river. I emailed the RD to ask about the terrain. I wasn’t interested in driving two hours to run slow on muddy, rooty terrain when what I really needed was the chance to run HARD and see how fast I could go. I was told there would about 8 miles of "trail" some gravel (it was cider) and some paved sections of "trail". The rest was on closed roads. It was primarily downhill on the road to the trail, which meant uphill back to finish. </div>
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On 12/8 I raced a 5k in 6:20 pace but I really thought I should have been faster. If I used my recent 3:08 marathon as a guide, I would come in around 1:28:xx, but if I used my 5k as a guide I would be 1:29:xx. Funny. It isn't supposed to work that way. </span>I really was hoping to chase a new PR, which is currently 1:27:21. But I really wasn’t sure if today would be the day. I would try.</div>
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I miserably failed to properly manage my pre-race routine.</b> I left my house at 5:50 when I should have left at 5:30. I had enough time for about 1M of warm-up. Thankfully I used the bathroom right after getting my bib but with nerves taking over I felt I like I need to get back online. I looked at my watch and I had 12 minutes until the gun…. ugh. The bathrooms were steps from the start so I got online and decided to wait to see how far I get with 4 minutes to go…. well, I never made it but the truth is I didn’t need it. Nerves make me feel like I need to pee when I don’t. I should have just kept warming up. <br />
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The weather was perfect today. 43 degrees for December in PA is awesome. There was some light wind. I wore shorts, calve sleeves, arm sleeves, gloves, and a singlet rather than a T-shirt. I expected to pull off the gloves at some point, maybe the arm sleeves and maybe even the singlet if I was overheating and felt just a sports bra would work. But I kept it all the entire race. No sunglasses today because it was a little grey. Has the sun broke through it would have definitely warmed up. <br />
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I line up at the front because based upon last year's race results, a 1:29:xx won it. I look at the ladies up front wondering if there could be anyone faster than me here today. I see at least two women who I think could be fast just based upon body composition and choice of racing gear. At the starting line, this is usually all we have to go on.<br />
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The gun goes off and we start up a mild hill, turn a corner and then head down and mostly downhill until 2.3M. There was some uphill in that but it was mostly down and at one point it was long and steeply down (which I knew would be challenging on the way back). I hold back my speed on the way down because I don’t want to exhaust myself at mile 2. I know there will be work for me at the end. I tell myself it is only 2.3M of work and that isn’t too bad. I will deal with that challenge when I get to it. <br />
<br />Once off the closed road, for the next mile to a mile and a half, we ran on a paved trail along the river. It was flat, fast, and peaceful. From the gun, I am the first female. I am in a small pack of men. One guy (Wayne) seem to hook up with me. No words exchanged. Our pace was just in sync with neither of us fighting for it. I know I was trying to hold on to a pace that was as fast as possible while still allowing me the ability to negative split.<br />
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Wayne and I are side-by-side, but running our own races. We take turns leading which really just maintained the pace. It became clear we were working together just from the proximity of our bodies and how our strides were often in sync. It felt nice to fall into a flow state with a complete stranger without discussion. I am not a fan of chit-chat when running fast. I want to conserve my energy. I want my mind to focus on my race, my pace, how I feel, what I need, not where someone is from, what their goal is, how many races they have run, etc. We can get to know each other later.<br />
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The energy was very positive and collaborative. Little things like how one of us if in the lead would point down to some branch or post or obstacle if we saw it first as a way to put the other on notice made it clear we were a team. We were moving well at 6:40 pace (which was my goal) and reeling in the men ahead slowly. <br />
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At about 3.75 miles, I believe, we hit the gravel part of the course. The path turned into damp cinder. Wayne spoke. He said “Oh I don’t care for this at all. It is slippery.” He was right. I said “I thought it was just my shoes. The traction is poor here." The shift in the surface caused us to slow a bit, but then we got back up to speed. <br />
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At about 5 miles, we pass a spectator who called out “You are the first woman!” and this makes Wayne glance back. I ask, “Do see any other ladies back there? I am afraid to look” ;) He says “Oh no. There is no one. I think you got this.” I say, “Well, it is early still. Not even halfway yet.”<br />
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I am hoping to negative split so if I don’t see any women near me or ahead of me by the halfway mark, I do feel the since most people don’t negative split, this means I will be hard to catch. BUT I am about running about 20 seconds per mile faster than my 5k race pace and I know there will be 2.3M of uphill at the end… so it is still early and things could go south before the end. <br />
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We hit the turn around and the pace on my watch is<b> 6:41 average</b>. I know my PR half pace is 6:39. I do a quick 180-degree spin around the chalk "turnaround" dot on the ground and pick up my effort. I would like to try to get my pace down to PR pace. I would LOVE to set a new lifetime PR today! <br />
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I know to have a chance to PR I need to really work the course from here through 2.34M to go because those last few road miles are going to hurt. I know they could easily cause me to not Negative split and I am ok with this. <br />
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I drop Wayne at the turn around. I was sure he was waiting as well to push the pace on the way back too. His breathing sounded good. He was so fluid. But I had a PR on my mind and I needed to stick to my plan. <br />
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I dig and I see 6:35.</b> I feel ok. I tell myself, this is going to be a 10k race home until it becomes a 5k race home… and I start working carefully to make up time.<br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">There are two men ahead and I go after them. The trail is filled with runners coming towards me who are so excited to tell me that I am the first female. Two of the most memorable comments include the one guy who could have been my age call out “You are doing a good job, ma'me!” (my first “ma'me” in a race. I am not sure how I feel about that except to say that I sincerely appreciate anyone who errs on the side of being “too respectful.”) A few minutes later, I am greeted by a woman who calls out “OMG!!! YOU ARE SO BADASS!!!” It was crazy loud. She made me smile… and I thought about the last year of my life and said to myself “You have no idea, sister!” <br />
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Then we hit the paved trail and I look down at my watch is reading 6:24 pace</b>. I look at the watch and think “Holy Crap…. this doesn’t even feel that bad.” I hold on to it for as long as I can. I know I will fade from that speed on the climb back to the finish. <br />
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I catch the two men and one says with surprise “Oh wow! Nice work!” The other does a double-take, appears to realize I am a woman, and he won’t let me pull away without a fight to stay ahead of me. After a few surges back and forth, he drops back and I continue on with my plan. I am not racing him. I am racing ME. <b> I am waiting for the road to come. I am sure I psyched myself out thinking way too much about the hills at the end. I need to not do that. </b>
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I am alone now and make a turn onto the road and not only do we start to incline, but there is also a headwind. Oh, come on!!! I can feel my quads getting hot. I think to myself “This is why you lift! You are strong. Dig!!! It is just 2M!!!” </span></div>
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I am pushing and I see 6:40s, and this is fine. The turns are frequent and I am watching for the white marks. It was all so clear on the way out, but there was one turn on the way back that confused me. I was tired. I pushed up a hill. The volunteer saw me. He took out his phone and snapped a photo. I saw the mark on the ground point to go left but it looked unclear as to whether I need to stay all the way left or make a quick right. I called back “Which way?!” He didn’t hear me. He was looking to see if he got a good photo. I was slowing down… I didn’t want to have to backtrack. I was so unsure. Ugh. The guy I passed on the path turns and is catching me now. I ask “This way????” He called out “I think so” while shrugging. He is following me. Great!<br />
<br />I had worked so hard to drop my average pace to 6:37 and I expected to lose some on the climb but not because I wasn’t sure where to go and practically coming to a stop? I am sure the course was marked fine and I was just tired and easily confused.<br />
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Then I could see in the distance a guy in a yellow vest at an intersection. I felt better knowing I was on track. I tried so hard to get my pace back down but the hill kicked my butt. They were not easy. I pass one guy who was walking, with maybe .8M to go. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7tfVp99C6967U8iwu4saybhZbzhBR9g_i2473fzCE76S6blicNhKlseW3Nwcb9V67OksqV-_JiRawB2EwZFgN1xo5gfiaYwwBD1nZDifJGywwNyuSbSMC7L54kN8e6bZAWXCwE53wPUo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-12-16+at+1.39.10+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1236" data-original-width="740" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7tfVp99C6967U8iwu4saybhZbzhBR9g_i2473fzCE76S6blicNhKlseW3Nwcb9V67OksqV-_JiRawB2EwZFgN1xo5gfiaYwwBD1nZDifJGywwNyuSbSMC7L54kN8e6bZAWXCwE53wPUo/s400/Screen+Shot+2019-12-16+at+1.39.10+PM.png" width="238" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">At this point, I know my watch is at least .1 off so even with my pace reading 6:39 (PR pace), I know I won’t run a new PR, but I give it my all. Once we turn the last corner we get to go back down the little incline we started on and I open up my stride. <br />
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Where is that finish line! Finally, I see it and I see the clock.. 1:27:58… 1:27:59… 1:28:00 and 1:27:xx is gone. Darn it 6 seconds later I am done. <br />
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As soon as I cross the line. I try to stop my watch. The RD is at my side. She asks me if I was able to get my watch stopped. I lean forward, hands on knees, trying to breathe. She asks me to stand up. She hands me my award. The photographer snaps a photo. I am sure still have snot on my face. She takes the award back from me. Hands it to another lady. That lady repacks it for me and that is it. I actually thank her for doing the awards as we finish (but seriously holy crap, I needed like just 30 seconds to catch my breath, LOL. Talk about efficient. I respect that! Good for her!). <br />
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Stats: <br />
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1:28:06 (6:44 pace for 13.1)</span></div>
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1st Female Overall<br />
6th place OA </span></div>
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Bring on 2020! </span></div>
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Lifetime PRs, look out. I am coming for you :)Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-62756294312082362952019-12-14T09:41:00.000-05:002019-12-14T09:45:34.246-05:00(1) A8K, Glenn Ridge, NJ 11/28/19, (2) NCR Trail Marathon, Spark, MD, 11/30/19, and (3) The Holiday Hustle 5k, Lincroft, NJ 12/8/19. <div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I will try to be brief. I make no promises. <br />
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I have been racing a lot again and it is amazing. All for training. Nothing has been a goal race. I can’t be happier with the results, although I can’t say that I am nailing my goals perfectly. When I miss the mark I set for myself (like in the last of these races), I feel more motivated to look at my training, nutrition, sleep, stress, etc and see what I can tweak to help me get one step closer to my "A" Goal. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">My last race was the Clifton 5k on 11/17. I wanted to run 6:20 pace and I ran 6:41 pace that day. I did not feel like it was my best work. I did not feel like I had the ability to dig deep at the end to pull down my pace. I left feeling dissatisfied with my performance and not really sure what I could have done differently. This concerned me. It easy to accept missing a goal when you know why. It is hard when you have no idea why you just didn’t “have it” when you wanted to. Was I reaching some limitation that I wasn’t prepared to find yet? </span></div>
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Ashenfelter 8k, Glen Ridge, NJ 11/28/19</b><br />
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As a result of all of the above, I had some mixed feelings about the A8k. Before the last few races, I was overwhelmed with pre-race anxiety. This could be sabotaging me. So this time I tried to be much better about pre-race stress. <b>First I NEED some anxiety to run well but not so much that I can't function well the day before </b>and get to bed hours later than I should. This time I slept better. I ate better. I managed my schedule much better. But I can’t say I felt as confident in my ability as I would have liked to feel. After all, I wasn’t trying to run a PR, I was simply trying to identify a realistic goal and then achieve it. This should not be that hard for me to do since I do this for others as my job and I do it well. <br />
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Annemarie, my Clifton Road Runners Team Captain, asked for my A8K goal so she could put me on the appropriate team. Without hesitation, I wrote, “I plan to run 6:20-6:40 pace.” I hit send and then thought to myself “What? I just raced a 5k at 100% effort and only managed 6:41 pace. I just said I could run an 8k faster than that. Ok, I guess I need to do it now.” <br />
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I love the A8K. I have run it maybe 5 times? It is a fast race. It is huge race. But the race is always good to me. I like the course. <br />
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So how did it go! It was awesome. I nailed it! Negative split. Raced a chick into the finish and passed her just before the finish line. I was pleased!<br />
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<b>NCR Trail Marathon, Sparks, MD, 11/30/19</b><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<b>Two days later, I got up a 4:00 am, drove from NJ to MD and raced the NCR Trail Marathon, then drove home. It was a great day! </b><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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I have run the A8k/NCR double many times and it always goes well. <b> There is something special that can happen when a higher volume runner races a fast short race a few days before a marathon. I feel like it wakes up the fast-twitch. But it only works if the runner has enough volume under them that a 3-5M short race doesn’t take too long to recover from. </b> I felt I would be find in two day, but I was also not concerned because the NCR was not a goal race for me. <span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But what was my goal? This was hard to figure out.<b> First and foremost I wanted to negative split this thing.</b> The course is set up for this. I has about a 1% incline out to the turnaround and then run down that same 1% decline on the way in. But 1% is not very significant, but it is still 1% and any percent can help with smart pacing. <br />
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My goal window was huge, based upon my 6:23 pace at the A8K two days prior I was looking to come in under 3:10, </b>but that was pretty ambitious. My last marathon was in Atlantic City on 10/21/19 and it was a 3:35. <b>I would need to drop a minute per mile</b>. <br />
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How did it go? Well it was amazing!!! </b><br />
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I was smart and careful and confident the entire way. I allow myself to settle into whatever pace felt “fast enough” for the way out which would still allow me to really work hard on the way in. It was cold for me. I wore my extra layer for 14 miles, when I usually drop a throw-away shirt by the first aid station. My hands could not stay warm until I picked up the pace on the way in. <br />
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I had moments during the race where I felt like I starting to slow down slower than I had expected to, like all the miles in the 7:30 on the way out, with a long way to go. </span></div>
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But I have to say, I never let the watch dictate my mood. If I felt concerned, I shifted my focus and I told myself “You are doing really good work right now. You are doing what you came to do. Just wait for the turnaround and see what you can make happen.” <br />
<br />First half splits: </span></div>
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The turn around was at 13.7M.</b> I have been enjoying pushing my pace with 12.2M left. I just feel that if I waited patiently at a pace that is not overwhelming me for 14 miles, then I would be able to handle harder work for the last 12.2M. I know that when I work too hard from the gun, those last 12M become physically and emotionally overwhelming and once the wheels fall off, the demise always results in more lost time at the end than I would have lost in the beginning had I been more disciplined and patient. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Once you learn that negative splitting a marathon will almost always result in a faster time and feel better along the way, there is usually no return to racing in a way that allow the race to control the pace. </b><br />
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I did not need to or want to bank time. Planning to do that means you I would be start my race with the negative expectation that I was going to fade and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That is a self-defeating, self-fulfilling prophecy based upon a lack of confidence in ability and training. I had neither. I trust my training. I believe in myself. I know I can negative split a marathon at comfortable paces. But this one was going to start to get into the uncomfortable zone. But still, I wanted to start with the expectation that if I keep my first 14M comfortably hard, I would set myself up for a negative split. The question would be just how fast could I bring it home. <br />
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Well again, I nailed it! 6-minute negative split! 1:37-1:38 on the way out. 1:30-1:31 on the way home! <br />
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On the way back, I had more miles in the 6’s than I thought I could run and they felt amazing!</b> In the last 10 miles, I moved from 6th place woman to 2nd place! I was 51st place overall at the turn-around and 27th OA by the finish. </span>There is nothing more amazing than flying into the finish at a marathon. </div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>At mile 21, I passed a pack of men and one asked, "Are you in the half????" I said, "No. The full!" And he replied, "HOLY CRAP!" And I was gone. Talk about a confidence boost! </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">There was a moment during mile 23-24 when the course slightly inclined and my pace slowed. I got worried. I had told myself to hold on until 2.2M to go and then dig… and here I was just before that mark and I was fading. I did not want to fade. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>And then I hear what sounded like a kennel of dogs barking like mad. We were in the woods on a trail. Not deep in the woods. There were home nearby. I don’t know where the dogs were, but they were loud. This snapped me out of my funk. <br />
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On the ride down, I had a conversation with Enzo.</b> For those who don’t know, Enzo was my canine ultra-endurance training partner who passed away from cancer in May. Now, when I run I think of him always. I miss him. When I race I carry him with me in my heart. <b>On the ride down I said to myself “Ok boy, you love running in the woods. You ready to rock-n-roll? Show me a sign that you are with me…” </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>And at that moment I passed “Dogwood Road” </b>Seriously<b>. </b></span>Ok, I will accept that. <b>You are with me. Game On little buddy. Let's go crush a marathon. </b></div>
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<br /><b>So back to the race. I am at 23-24M. I am fading for a moment. I hear the dogs going nuts. I snap out of it. Omg, Enzo! You are reminding me to fight. I imagine him grinding away ahead of me with his leash tethered to my arm like he always was. I can see him in my mind's eye PULLING me. Pulling the pace. LOVING it. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">And suddenly, I have wings. <b> </b><br />
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I drop my pace to 6:32 for the next mile, fade slightly to 6:44 for mile 26 and then dig for a kick of 6:21 pace to finish in 3:08:19, 2nd Female OA. #EnzoIsMyCoPilot! </b><br />
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We did it, Enzo! We did it! Thank you! </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I have been on a high from running a 3:08 at the NCR for days. But by mid-week, my mind shifted to the next challenge: The Holiday Hustle 5k.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">My last 5k (mentioned in the beginning) felt very dissatisfying. My 5k PR is from the Holiday Hustle in 2016. I like this race. I did not taper for this. I did take a “Rest Week” after NCR but that meant I just opted for a lot more treadmill running because the weather was turning very cold and I felt more comfortable inside. I wanted to take advantage of the give the treadmill offered so my running was slightly lower impact and I considered that my "rest." I ran 75 miles for the week ending with this race. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I was still tired from the marathon but I was able to run 14M on Monday 12/2. I skipped my interval work and ran 8M on Tuesday 12/3. </span>By Tuesday afternoon, I felt my left calf was having a problem. If I kept pushing I would end up strained. I wasn’t sure if I would even make the 5k. I was definitely NOT racing if my calf was angry. But because I caught it so very early and I took a rest day (2M) on Wednesday, by Thursday I was back to 100% and I did my hills. </div>
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<br />I also resumed lifting heavy weights again between the NCR and the Holiday Hustle. I was lifting heavy before the Clifton 5k, but I cut out the lifting starting after my lighter session on the Monday three days before the Thursday 8k and NCR double. I wanted to get back to my strength work, so I knew I would sacrifice something at the 5k. I didn’t really expect it to be much. <br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>5ks are too short for me to count as a training day. I met Alanna and we ran 11.2M before the race</b>. I could argue that the 11M w/u made me "tired" but I don’t really believe that was true. I was likely just not fully recovered from the marathon the week before. 11M did not deplete my glycogen. I refueled and rehydrated between the w/u and the race. If anything, I was probably a pound or two lighter by gun time for doing a long warm-up, which would help. I have raced PR 5ks with 10-12 mile warm-ups. If I was a 20 mpw week runner, an 11M warm-up would be ridiculous. But at 75-90 mpw it really did not physically take much out of me, especially because the pace was easy. <br />
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Kim had asked me my goal prior to the race, and I said “Well, I just ran an 8k in 6:23 pace so I really would like to be faster than that! My last .4M at the NCR Marathon was a 6:21 pace, so I will aim for a 6:21 first mile and try to pull the pace down from there. </b><br />
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So how did it go? <b>Ugh, 5k’s are hard.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">This course starts with a slight decline, the makes a big loop and returned back to the starting line. <b>One thing that worried me and definitely impacted my pace was my fear that there was ice on the bridges and some parts of the path. I did not want to fall. During my warm-up, I did feel how slippery the bridge was. But that was at 9:00 am before the 10:00 start. At 9:00, I told the RD about my concern to see if anyone wanted to or could do anything about this. They put cones where there were slippery patches. I know I slowed on the bridge in the first/last mile on the way out and bac</b>k. <br />
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I was in control for the first mile and was happy to see a <b>6:22.</b> I was behind 5 guys, well like three teenagers and 2 grown men. One kid was a rocket and gone. The other 4 were in range. I was in no rush to pass anyone. Instead, I wanted to stick to my plan. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">About halfway, I looked at my pace and says 6:15. It just felt like a lot of work to lift my legs. My breathing was not terrible. I did not feel cardiovascularly taxed. Instead I felt like I did not have any other gears to shift into and I still had 1.5M to go, with an incline to the finish. <br />
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I was able to move past the men just after the half way point and from there I was running alone. And even though I wanted to get more lift and generate more speed, I just couldn’t do it. <b>My legs said, “No. Not today." </b>I settled on just hanging on, trying to not fade. I cruised through the finish line at 19:38, but couldn’t stop my watch due to my giant mittens getting in my way. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrE2_lA_HJ0IFO914L82oxeFqN3Fs3IXyaX5IJRsbiqzEmQJS-mJhDAQt1K7NRCui8F6OCPaBFK4hWknRPp8zZoJ3l4Duo3BnkQEvvuxhbn6hiXAvoKsAMdWhNJmUIJ6YUFDpAEJ9S-t8/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-12-14+at+8.18.37+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1266" data-original-width="1118" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrE2_lA_HJ0IFO914L82oxeFqN3Fs3IXyaX5IJRsbiqzEmQJS-mJhDAQt1K7NRCui8F6OCPaBFK4hWknRPp8zZoJ3l4Duo3BnkQEvvuxhbn6hiXAvoKsAMdWhNJmUIJ6YUFDpAEJ9S-t8/s400/Screen+Shot+2019-12-14+at+8.18.37+AM.png" width="352" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>Sub-20 is good. I was really hoping for 19:11, not 19:38. 27 seconds off my goal. This felt like the disappointing Clifton 5k all over again for me. </b>
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But this the work. This feeling is dissatisfaction is the process</b>. Everything can’t be easy. I don’t expect success after success. "Failure" is where learning happens. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>So what happened? I could make 1000 excuses.</b> Was it too cold? Did I warm up too much? Were my legs tired from lifting too much? Was my calf still not 100%? Was I not fully recovered from the marathon the week before? How much did my fear of slipping slow me down? Did I not enough grit? Did I drop the ball mentally? Did I lose motivation because there was no one to chase and no one chasing me? Am I just maxing out my top speed because I am 44 years old and 5ks are hard? Is this the best I can do and I should be happy? All of the above? None of it? Who knows? </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>It doesn't matter. I will assess my training and lifestyle. I will change what I can change to move me in the right direction. Keep working hard. I will chase the dreams I have set for myself in my heart. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>I have time to grow. I will see where this leads. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>But truly I am racing again! I am racing again!!! And this fact, all on its own, is a victory. </b></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-55194923939379216592019-11-25T21:56:00.003-05:002019-11-25T21:56:58.023-05:005k Stampede Through Clifton, Clifton, NJ 11/17/19<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><b>I forgot about this part.</b> Racing in less than comfortable weather. I have been spoiled as I made my “come back” with shorts and singlet weather. It hasn’t even gotten bad yet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">I forgot about the part where I throw practically all the clothes I own in a bag just before I run out the door to a race since not knowing what I will want to wear 2 hours later because it might be 29 degrees with 10-15 mph winds or maybe it will be 35 degrees with a light breeze.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><br />
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I am out of practice. I need to handle race stress better. Some stress is needed. I know.</b> But I used to do better than this. <br />
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I spent all day Saturday setting myself up to fail under the guise of being busy with things felt I needed to get done<b>. </b>Most of that stuff was not important. Part of me knew I was scattered, setting myself with an excuse to stay home and that part of me I knew exactly why. <b>Fear of Failure. Fear of seeing my dreams crumble.</b><br />
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I have been making a solid come-back, better than I thought I would or could. Three marathons. A half marathon. Each faster than the race before it. All negative splits. All with deliberately controlled pacing. All starting a little slower than I felt I could handle but all ending better than my expectations. All were exhilarating. <br />
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All of these races whispered a promise that I can rise to personal greatness again if just do the work and believe in myself. </b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Run the right amount of miles. Lift the right amount of weight. Eat the right type of food. Sleep the right amount of hours. <br />
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What is “right?”</b> I don’t know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But I know what I was doing before when sick was all wrong for PRing. So I will find out along the way if I just do a little more “right’ over time than I what I was doing when everything was going “wrong.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>But how much is enough?</b> Good question. I guess the wall will come at some point. I was thinking today might be the day I stop seeing gains and hit it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>And then what?</b> Then I learn where I am weak. Then the real work begins. <br />
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This race was just a local 5k. It was a local fun run. It was not going to be competitive. It is the shortest race on my calendar. It would replace my speedwork day. I wasn’t going into it fresh.<br />
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This race should not worry me but instead, it really had me scattered-brained and self-sabotaging.</b> As grateful as I am to have the ability to run again, there is now a growing part of me that has heard the quiet whisper that reminds me “<b>You know how to rebuild.</b> You have done this before. Just believe in yourself. Give yourself a chance.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">There is a big part of me that wants to race well again. I am not done here. <br />
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And then there is the other voice that says “<b>but you are 44 now</b>…” (and “so what? That doesn’t have to stop me” I counter, but I can’t deny what I heard). <br />
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Weeks ago, high from a great race, I built the skeleton outline of a dream. I worked out checkpoints and milestones for pace goals I want to hit along the way. There really is no room for setbacks if I want to hit my A goal on time (I am not going to share that until I am writing a race report about doing it). <br />
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</span><span style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration: underline;"><b>My Why:</b></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"> <b>If you were ever once a Big Dreamer and actually were able to achieve a few of your goals and then had the universe snatch it all away without warning, you might feel what I feel. There are a lot of things that make life worth living. Dreaming and believing you can achieve great things through hard work and belief in yourself creates joy. This joy can give significant purpose and meaning to even the most menial and tedious tasks (like eating, sleeping, being structured and efficient, appreciating supportive people, appreciating good health, etc). Without dreams, without the capacity to dream of the pursuit of excellence, life can feel downright monotonous. When you can’t do what you love, when you can’t be yourself, when the universe sucks your soul out of you, when the universe makes you find a new way to tolerate the daily grind with a smile, you will find that when the universe gives you back the chance to dream again, you may, like me, dream bigger and harder than you ever thought you could… </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And then you find the thought of racing a little 5k that could kill you dreams in 20 minutes overwhelms you with the fear of failure, the fear falling down again, onto your still bruised, beaten, and fragile ego. <br />
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This race would be the first race in my training-race schedule where I wasn’t actually sure I could achieve the goal I set for myself. I wanted so badly to not blow it. <br />
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Yet, the night before the race, I ended up working late, getting home at 11:30 pm thinking about how I really could just sleep in, do a tempo run, get more mileage than I would likely get at the race, be done sooner, and lose just the $17 I paid to preregister. When I looked at the 28 degree and windy weather prediction, sleeping in was starting to sound like a good idea. <br />
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But I am not a quitter.</b> Within an hour I was in bed. Between Alexa and my cell phone, I had about half a dozen alarms set because I knew I really did want to go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>This is part of the process. If I want to succeed I have to be willing to fail and then learn from it.</b>
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I also really wanted to see <b>Jim O</b>. We spent many years road racing together. There are some people who I look forward to seeing at races and Jim is always one of them. It has been a long time. <br />
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At the race, Jim and I run the course as a warm-up and have a good time catching up. I get to do my dynamic stretching. I do my strides. I am starting to feel less nervous. My strides are fast. 5:45 pace. <b> I am feeling like I have nothing to worry about. </b> My goal for this race was 6:20-6:40, but I am feeling like that is too conservative. Maybe I can go sub-6:20, which would be a huge confidence booster. My last 2.5M of my half was 6:45 pace so this is not unrealistic. <br />
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I am dressed lightly and the wind feels cold. I am worried I am underdressed but I hope once moving fast I feel better. I line up 3 rows back. This is appropriate. <br />
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The guns goes off and before the guys in front of me are even able to take a step I feel a large hand pressing its palm into the small of my small and I am shoved hard by the guy behind me. I can’t turn around because I am trying to run forward. I yell back “STOP PUSHING ME!” and hear nothing. This did not feel like a jostle or a mistake. Runners are usually polite and will say “Sorry” or “Excuse me”… or something if they bump into someone by accident. This felt deliberate and it bothered me. <br />
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The start was downhill with a tailwind. I look at my watch and I am running 5:45 pace for the first few strides. No… this is not good. By the first turn, I settle into 6:20 pace which feels surprising hard. <br />
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Ben</b> pulls up next to me. I am still mad about the shove. I tell him I am running too fast but I am just feeling irritated by being shoved hard at the start. It helped to complain and once I said it out loud, I was over it. I didn’t fall. Nothing happened to me. It just rattled my focus. <br />
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I look up and see one woman ahead of me. She is working incredibly hard. I ask Ben… “Who’s that? Do you she will hold on?” This isn’t even mile 1. </span>Ben says “Probably not. I don’t think so." I say, “I don’t think so either.” </div>
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And at that same moment, a very fit young girl glides past me. I turn to Ben and I say “But I think she can”… and she drifts ahead. <b>M1: 6:34</b><br />
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It is too early in this race to worry about placement or chasing down anyone. I know there is a long hill in M2 but it is not steep. It is really more like a gradual incline with some more obvious steep sections. But I can feel the wind and my fingers in my thin gloves feel frozen. I don’t feel loose. I feel like I am working very hard. I remind myself to check my form. I look at my watch and it is slower than I hope to see. <b>M2 6:44.</b> <br />
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I had already passed the first woman who I knew could not hold on to her fast pace. The young girl is pulling further ahead. I don’t know if I can catch her. We crest the “hill” and I try to open my stride. I can pick up the pace a little but not really like I hoped to do. I am reeling in first place but we are running out of road. M3 6:33<br />
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I hit the last turn and I give 100%. My legs feel heavy but I try to lift my knees, use more power. The final last tenth is up the incline and into the wind. <b>I manage a 6:13 pace for that final push,</b> not catching first female. <br />
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I look at my watch and <b>I see 6:36 pace for 3.14M.</b> I know this means I was slower than 6:36. <b> I end up 6:41 pace for the entire 5k, </b>one second outside of my goal pace window. <br />
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I feel like I mentally set myself up for this day</b>. I feel like I made sure I was going to struggle. I feel like I missed my goal window 12 hours before this race ever started. I feel like I caused my own self-fulfilling prophecy.<b> I walked off the course thinking “I really do have a lot of work to do” and maybe that is the lesson: </b><b>Wanting something badly doesn’t ensure you can do it. Wanting something badly can get you working harder than you have ever worked before, but there are no guarantees</b>. All you can do is work hard and set yourself up to have a real chance and then go for it... I started to think about how to revise my training to help me move my skills and ability in the right direction. <br />
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The good for me was that even when finding it hard to run as fast as I wished I could, <b>I still negative split this race. </b>This was part of the plan and I am happy to have achieved this even when racing all out from the gun. <br />
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I watch Jim finish. I did a cool-down run and then waited for awards with Jim and Esly. It felt like it was years ago when I raced almost weekly and tried to make every team race I could make. <br />
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I miss my Clifton team and racing as part of the USATF Road Racing Series</b>. I can’t wait to see what 2020 brings. This is going to be a fun year! <br />
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Stats:</span></div>
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2nd F <br />
1st AG</span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-4990806005973872012019-11-11T10:29:00.002-05:002019-11-11T10:30:05.897-05:00HiTOPS Princeton Half Marathon, Princeton, NJ. 11/3/19<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I have run 3 marathons since Sept 14 of this year. All of those have been races used as "Training Runs." I did well, but they were not 100% race effort from the start. It is a little easier on the anxiety level when you show up at a race knowing it is not supposed to reflect your best effort. Instead, your ability to execute one specific task (negative splitting) as part of practice was the goal.<br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">On 11/3 I raced a half for the first time in a long time. I haven’t run anything fast in a long time and I really wasn’t 100% certain what to expect. But for this race, I knew one thing, I really did want to do well. I wanted to feel like I ran hard and smart at the same time. I still wanted to make sure I negative split the race, but I also could see from the elevation chart that there was a significant hill in M6 and another in M10 but I wasn't sure how long it was. Maybe I was just tired, but I would argue that there was also an uphill in Mile 13 as well. I felt like a mountain but wasn’t even steep enough to appear like a hill on the elevation chart. :)<br />
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My plan was to take my pace from the last 12M of Atlantic City Marathon, which bounced around between 7:26 and 8:00 per mile and use that to set a somewhat realistic goal pace for this half. I decided to aim for 7:20-7:40 pace for the first 10.5M (where I thought the hill ended). Once over that last hill, then I wanted to shift gears and see what I could do. I wanted to remain comfortable through 6.55M and not start to do any harder work until the second half. I wanted to listen to my legs on the uphills since I really have not done a lot of climbing in training. I did not want to blow up early and see a fade. Finish strong has really been the theme of my return to racing so far and I want to keep it that way. </span></div>
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<b>There are a few honorable mentions about this race that I would like </b>to make before I carry on about me. :) First, this was the first race I was able to run with <b>Alanna</b> in a long long time. That made this special right from the start. </div>
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Next, I also would get to see <b>Gary</b> who I have been coaching for many years now. Gary just qualified for Boston in October and was running lifetime PRs. I looked forward to seeing him in person and actually getting to run with him today! I rarely run with my clients but everything just worked out for us. <br />
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Finally, I found this race the day after my last surgery. My surgeon has cleared me to run, finding that while under anesthesia, he could see that I only had minor issues to repair. He confirmed that from what he could see the surgery I had in June was actually a success and the infection that would not heal in my GI tract looked like it finally closed. This was a huge success. So the next day, I registered for this race. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigy3CWoiM3eKnTs7TXmMBHfg8tsTDuKOoTEKLpW0biOZ4aTE1jNX_nJuhunZ0KgoQRbXQ8eqAVIjxR3R9AfF6VzpPy8QqFZFtiT5V5St2-aTKjPn_UB87J3_EtQdTl8E4cbb0Bwq6Kxik/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-11-11+at+10.23.41+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1116" data-original-width="724" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigy3CWoiM3eKnTs7TXmMBHfg8tsTDuKOoTEKLpW0biOZ4aTE1jNX_nJuhunZ0KgoQRbXQ8eqAVIjxR3R9AfF6VzpPy8QqFZFtiT5V5St2-aTKjPn_UB87J3_EtQdTl8E4cbb0Bwq6Kxik/s400/Screen+Shot+2019-11-11+at+10.23.41+AM.png" width="257" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;">I happened to see that there was a fundraising option for those who wanted to do a little more to help the HiTOPS organization, which provides non-judgmental sexual health education to adolescents and young adults over a wide range of topics from cyberbullying, sexual health education, and LBGTQ+ support. <br />
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I decided that if I was going to try to get back to racing and turn my nightmare around, I wanted to try to Create some Momentum along the way and raise funds for this organization. Teenagers have a lot of questions during a confusing time in their life. This organization provides support and education. I started a page and asked Alanna to help share it. <b>With the generosity of so many people who followed my journey, who care about me, who care about Alanna, donations equal to $1700 were made to our team fundraiser page. I am so incredibly grateful to all who were able to generously offer their support. This truly made me want to do my best on race day. </b><br /><b><u>
Race day morning </u></b>was one of the colder mornings of the year. It was about 35 degrees at the start and I wasn't sure how to even dress for a race. I was initially layered up in tights but with the lack of wind, it didn’t feel so bad. <b>Then I remember this phrase an elite ultrarunning friend of mine used to say to himself when deciding what to wear: “<i>Shorts are for Racing, Tights are for Pacing”</i> and it made me laugh and then I put on shorts. <i>I was here to race! </i></b><br />
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I need to work better on my pre-race timing. I am out of practice, clearly. I only had time for 1.5 miles of warm-up and then I headed to the start, where I was lucky to find Gary! <br />
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Alanna didn’t plan to race so she moved back. Gary and I went up towards the front behind the faster more ambitious runners but far enough up that our 7:30 pace would be unencumbered. It was nice to get to catch up with Gary and <b>all my chatter allowed me to not focus so much on my concern that today might be the first day I don’t achieve my negative split task. </b>I just wasn’t yet confident that I would be able to hold a 7:30 pace for most of the race and then have another gear, but I was going to surely try. I really wanted to run a 7:20 average pace for the whole thing but I wasn't sure if that was too ambitious for me for right now. </span></div>
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<b>M1-7:29</b></span></div>
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</b>The first two miles were comfortable and were mostly net descent. <b>Then we hit a little incline in Mile 3 and I felt it. I felt it more than I wanted to feel it. </b>My legs noticed the uphill and I knew that I would need to be careful with my pacing. This was so incredibly subtle but I think it is important to listen to your body and use that to guide pacing not try to stick to the time on the watch at all costs. Gary was next to me and he looked fine. Gary just ran a 3:20 marathon. I just ran a 3:35 Marathon. I told Gary I needed slow a little just because I am out of practice on hills. It was too soon in the race for me to feel anything of concern. Gary pulled away. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M3-7:40 <br />
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</b>I thought about the elevation chart and how I didn’t even hit the real hills yet. “<b><i>I have a lot of work to do</i></b>” I thought to myself. “<i><b>But it is ok. I am happy where I am at right now and I just getting started!</b></i>” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The descents felt good. Nothing hurt. I was being patient. For fleeting moments, it felt hard to see ladies ahead of me and not try to catch up to them. But I just reminded myself that my job was to be able to run fast after 10.5M and not fade. Catching ladies in M4 or M5 will do nothing to help me achieve my goal. </span></div>
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<b>M4-7:28 <br />
M5-7:22<br />
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</b>One of the significant climbs took place throughout<b> </b>Mile 6. As per my watch, it took me more than 4:45 seconds to get up the hill. It really wasn’t overwhelmingly steep although there were some people walking around me. At this point, I was still being patient. A female competitor was right on my heels. I reminded myself that I was not racing her. I was waiting for my mark and then I would go. She passed me just as we crested the hill. I returned the pass on the descent but not because I wanted to get ahead of her. She just seemed to have worked a little too hard on the up and needed recovery whereas I didn’t work as hard and once over the hill I could open up my pace again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>As we passed the 6:55 timing mat, I noticed my average pace was 7:32 per mile</b>. I knew that to a negative split, I needed to see that drop by as much as possible in the second half. I felt ready, willing, and able to do that. I was glad I was patient through this point in the race. </span></div>
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<b>M6-7:51<br />
M7-7:16<br />
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</b>The next mile was lovely. It was a super-fast descent that really allowed me to regroup after that climb. It mentally helped me to see my average pace already dropping but it was still early. I had one more climb to go and I thought it was supposed to be steeper and/or longer than what I just did. <br />
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<b>M8-7:03</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was during this mile that I rejoined Gary who looked great but was running his own race. I was moving well and I was happy he didn’t try to change his race to come with me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M-9 7:11</b></span></div>
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Ok, here we go. The last big climb. I am not even sure how bad this will be. The windy road meant I couldn't see the top of the hill. <b>When I look at my watch data, it shows that the incline was about 18 minutes. It started at 9.1M and ended at 11.5M but there was a little relief at 10.25 that helped. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Once I hit 10.25, I was ON.</b> That was my mark to start to pick up my pace and I didn’t care what the course looked like. I would listen to my body to see how fast I could go. I waited for this. I didn’t allow myself to blow up early just so I could do something special at the end and now was my time to try. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M10-7:55 </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M11-7:10</b><br />
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Once over the peak of the last hill which was really at 11.5M, I glanced at my pace and was so happy to see sub-7 pace. </b>The descent was helpful and I was able to recover from the climb while pushing my speed. But then we turn and start going back up! It really wasn’t terribly steep but at 6:45 pace it felt like a mountain to me. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here is where my form falls apart. </td></tr>
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I am passing people and moving faster than anyone around me. <b>One woman responds and goes with me. It has been a long time since I felt like someone was able to make a move to go with me when I am negative splitting. This is not because I believe “I am just that good” but rather it is because 99.9% of the runners in recreational races simply do not believe they can negative split so they just go out too hard and have nothing left at the end to respond with. </b><br />
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For a moment I felt like I was going to be in a footrace to the finish. For a moment I wasn’t sure what would happen. I didn’t have another gear at that time. I used them all up. I was holding a 6:45 pace on an incline and my form was starting to fall apart on me. Maybe if we hit a decline I could shift again but maybe she could too. The finish line was less than a half-mile away. Could I really race her in for that long? It will be fun to try! <br />
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<b>And then she dropped but I still felt proud of her. I don’t know who she is but she had grit. She didn’t think about what to do when I pulled up next her at 12.5M to go, she just reacted by going with me and fighting back. </b>That is fantastic. I wish I could have shook her hand at the end, but I was having a full blown asthma attach as soon as I stopped moving and was almost ushered into the medical tent. I did not need that. I have my inhaler. Unlike what most people may think, Exercise-induced Asthma attacks are most likely to happen upon stopping the exercise not midway through it. For me as soon I as stop running hard and for several minutes after, I will not be able to get in enough air to breathe properly, but I have my inhaler and I do recover quickly.<br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">A minute or two later, I see Gary finishing strong and later we find our he PR'd again! Alanna had a great day too running a very solid training run and achieving he goal for the day!<br />
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<b>M12-6:45</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M13-6:46</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Last .1 (or .17 for me) in 1:10 (6:46 pace)</b></span></div>
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Stats: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">1:36:37 (7:22 pace) and a 2:10 minute negative split.</span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-78341223734634020802019-11-02T09:39:00.000-04:002019-11-02T12:50:02.412-04:00Atlantic City Marathon, Atlantic City, NJ 10/20/19<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is a two-part race report. The first is about some of my theories and how I practice when it comes to negative splitting a marathon. The second part is a recounting of my race. All of this includes Kim’s race as well because the entire point of racing AC was for both her and me to negative split. Kim’s negative was a bigger deal than me doing it because it was the first time she decided to try and she was amazing! </span></span></div>
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Part I: </b></span></span></div>
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I love the marathon because it can feel like magic sometimes. When we run well, it almost feels like a surprise to even ourselves. How did I just run 26.2M at a pace I could not hold for shorter long runs? <br />
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Today Kim and I ran the AC Marathon with the sole purpose of practicing Fast Finish, Negative-Split Marathon pacing. No matter how many times I negative split a marathon, it will never get old and it always feels like a tremendous accomplishment. <br />
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But today was special because it was Kim’s day to deliberately attempt a negative split.</b> I tend to not formally coach my friends because dual-relationships often don’t work out well. However, Kim and I have found our way and we trust each other tremendously. <br />
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Negative split training is hard because most people don’t have the ability to run a marathon as a training run due to physical, financial, and other valid reasons. Not everyone is willing or able to register for a marathon and then use it as a skill-building training run, but that is exactly what works and this is what we did. <br />
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The assignment was to take our average pace from the last marathon we ran together at Clarence DeMar 3 weeks ago and average that pace for the first 14 Miles. And then at Mile 14, we needed to get to work, finding a faster but sustainable pace. We wanted to feel like we were running a 12M race with a 14M warm up. I would run my race and she would run hers but at the end of the day, we both should cross the finish line with respectable time, faster than the last marathon and with the second half much faster than the first. <br />
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This was a training run, not a goal race so the plan was to practice negative-splitting by running slow enough in the first half to ensure that we had more gears to use. And we wanted to still run a respectable time despite holding back early. </span></span></div>
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<b>My thoughts and experience about weight changes on race pace. </b>Years ago, my husband was talking about flying an airplane. He explained how the plane is at its heaviest when the tank is full. It much harder for the plane to move its mass. It is a less efficient machine when the tank is full. But as fuel is burned off, the plane gets lighter and more efficient. It has much less trouble picking up speed. <br />
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I think about this when I race. Speed is not related to how much fuel is in my tank, it is related to how light my machine is compared to how strong my engine is. I regularly weigh in before and after my long runs. Even just an hour of running will result in weight loss. For my long runs, I come home 3-4 lbs lighter even when I drink fluids along the way. <br />
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But it seems many runners start a race thinking this way: “I want to start somewhat hard, while I have the most energy in me and my freshest legs. I want to bank a little time before I hit the wall.” </span></span><br />
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These runners then start at a pace that is faster than their goal pace, which is just a little too fast to sustain especially when they are most heavily loaded with glycogen and hydration. To me, it makes little sense to work extra hard while my body is actually in the most inefficient, heaviest, and slowest form it will be in all morning. Instead, I want to start at a pace that is comfortable, that keeps my goal in reach but gives my body time to burn off some fuel/hydration and become a little lighter (and faster). If my body isn’t beat up by working too hard too soon, I will get to the second half still surprisingly fresh, but now pounds lighter (even when eating and drinking along the way). This is when I want to shift gears and start “racing”. If this goes well, there should be no fade, <b>no wall,</b> and my fastest miles should be at the very end. <br />
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<b>I also explained to Kim how the Cori Cycle works</b>. <b>How many of us understand that the human body is a glucose recycling center? This little-discussed system is truly magical. </b> Basically, when glucose is burned for energy, lactate is discharged into the bloodstream as a by-product of the chemical reaction in the cells. When this lactate makes it way back to the liver it is converted back into useable glucose that once again can reach the cells and be burned as energy. <br />
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The accumulation of lactate is regulated by our pace. Faster paces make more lactate. Lactate is not a problem until we have too much of it. If we work just a little too hard, more lactate accumulates in the blood than can be recycled by the liver and it builds up. This excess of lactate reduces the pH balance of the blood, impacting how well the blood can transport oxygen and negatively impacting muscle contraction. When this happens, the body’s survival mechanism kicks in and we start to slow down. This slow down in pace allows the liver more time to recycle the overage of lactate. Often when we get back under our lactate threshold, pH balance is restored and we get a second wind. <br />
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Our lactate threshold can be pushed higher with training methods. But racing our best requires us to understand that pushing through the burn is not the smartest thing to do early in a race. We want to do this at the end where overshooting our lactate threshold will be less problematic because once we hit the finish line the race is over and we can walk around while lactate clears. <br />
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If we are very in tune without bodies we can feel the subtle signs that we are starting to accumulate too much lactate. For me, I can feel my legs start to feel heavy and my breathing gets a little bit labored. One question I ask myself repeatedly as I run is “Can I get faster? Do I have another gear?” If the answer is NO before my “go faster” mark, then I need to slow down because I am at my redline for lactate accumulation. I stop letting my Ego rule me too early. I need to save that for the end. <br />
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<b>Finally, Kim and I talked about how much courage and confidence</b> it takes to PLAN to negative split a race. It is risky, especially when you believe the WALL exists regardless of your pacing. Most simply don’t believe that it is possible for them to get faster in the second half marathon. They think the wall is coming no matter what and they can’t stop it. Negative split a marathon at a pace you are proud of just once and you will learn that there isn’t a wall for everyone. The less discipline you have, the bigger your wall will be. <br />
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Of course, first, we need to be trained to handle the demands of 26.2M of running before we can think about the ways to manipulate pacing over that distance. Kim was trained to run 26.2 and her recovery was fast. Same for me. <br />
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The best way to build our sense of self-efficacy is to witness someone who we feel is similar to ourselves do something that we didn’t think was possible.</b> When we see it is possible for someone similar to us, we start to believe it is possible for us too. Once Kim was able to see me run a 14-minute negative split at Clarence DeMar, I knew she would be interest, ready, and willing to try it for herself. Kim and I have different strengths and weaknesses but we know each other and we know there are more similarities between our approach to training, nutrition, life than there are differences. <br />
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Self-confidence is a tough element to control. When it comes to negative splitting a marathon I don’t think anyone is going to feel truly confident until they do it once. Kim has been my training and racing partner for years. She has witnessed my success with pacing and knows that I have been able to negative split every single PR race I have ever run in my life. <br />
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The irony is people might imagine that a negative split would feel physically harder than banking time and then letting the body fade, but that can’t be further from the truth.</b> Instead, for me each time I negative split a marathon, the experience is not painful. It is exhilarating. To err and run myself into the ground for 14 miles first and then try to power on for 12M more doing more and more damage to my already beat up body that just wants to stop moving is so incredibly painful, physically and emotionally. Lactate accumulation can hurt when we have too much. It is a horrible feeling to want to lift your legs but to find you have no ability to do it. However, in contrast, running 14M just under the lactate threshold, taking advantage of the Cori Cycle, recycling glucose, not getting beaten up, just doesn’t hurt. And then when I hit the 12M to go mark, it is my “Go Time”. The pace I pick when practicing negatives is a pace that is significantly faster than what I just ran, but one that still allows me to hold on to one more faster gear for the end. Because I am running faster than all those around me, the crowds feed my Ego and inspire me to try harder and run strong. And because I am moving faster than anyone around me, any competition I reel in will be completely unlikely to respond in kind (because few runners have the skill and ability to negative split). By the time I finish, my last mile should be one of the fastest and the pain will be minimal. And there was never a Wall at all. <br />
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Before someone negative splits a marathon for the first time, it is hard to believe it is possible. But after one time, race pacing should never be the same again. To learn you can run for 2+ hours at a respectable pace and then decide to run the last hour+ much faster and then do it changes us. The best way to build this confidence is to set yourself up to succeed by picking a marathon, and running with discipline for the first chunk and then picking a mark in the second half where you will shift gears and turn on the power and just plan to learn about what you can do. Forget about the finish time. Forget about chasing a PR. Just pick a race and deliberately practice mastering this skill and then say goodbye to the wall forever. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Part II</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some of my Race Performance Journal Notes:<br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Condition/Terrain:</b> The conditions weren’t terrible, but they could have been a little better at the end. It was about 60 degrees at the start and overcast. For my lasts 80 minutes, it rained and the winds kicked up to about 14 mph. When running into this wind along the ocean on the soft, energy-absorbing boardwalk, it was more of a struggle than I hoped it would be. <br />
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<b>One surprise to me was how slow the boards were</b>. I am used to running the boards from Spring Lake to Asbury Park to Long Branch. After Hurricane Sandy, a lot of our boards there are replaced with a hard plastic boardwalk. It is solid and really doesn’t feel much different than running on the roads. But for AC, the boards are old and bouncy and they have way too much give. My pace dropped 10-15 seconds per mile immediately every time I hit the boardwalk segments compared to the road segments. I didn’t expect this much of a difference. <br />
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<b>Shoes/Gear</b>: NB 1400s, Sports Bra (on inside out because I got dressed in the dark ;) Maybe this is good luck.) Bike shorts by Brooks. Waist Belt by Nathan for gu because shorts did not have pockets.<br />
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<b>Health/Wellness Factors:</b> Feeling strong, fit, and ready to execute my negative split plan. Not able to weigh in before and after this run but guessing about 115-117 the morning of the race, which was close to 6 lbs less than I was at Clarence De Mar. </span></span></div>
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<b>Nutrition: </b>I do what works for me and ate about 1000 calories MORE than my usual intake spread out over the day before the race (Risotto at Spanos for dinner with my parents). Instead of the 80-100 grams of carbs I usually eat, I ate about 300g of carbs the day before. The morning of the race and during the race I got about 175g of carbs in me (pumpkin spice donut, gels, Gatorade, and BCAAs). For me, this nutrition plan works like rocket fuel. You don't need to copy me but rather find your own way. I was so well-fueled that energy level was never a problem. I was not ravenous after. I was able to return immediately to my high-protein, lower-carb style of eating. <br />
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<b>Sleep</b>: I slept horribly the night before. Hardly any unbroken sleep. I totaled 5 hours and 43 minutes of broken sleep. This is terrible for me. We stayed at my parents' house and Lapis was not happy. She was up pacing around at night not sure what to do with herself. It took a while for her to settle down. <br />
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<b>Execution of the plan: </b>Here are my splits … I think it went well considering the last 80 minutes was in the worst weather of the race for me. </span></span></div>
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For the first 14 miles, I was so patient. I let everyone go and I reminded myself what my task was for the day. The slower-paced start allows me to work on form. I thought about how my body moved and try to be efficient. There were moments along the way when I worried about whether or not I would have another gear or two… but when those thoughts were recognized I shook them away and reminded myself to focus on my goal. <br />
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As I got past 10 miles, I wanted to ensure I could shift. My first 14M pace plan was to sit between 8:20-8:40 pace. When I started to wonder if my last 12 would go well, I made a decision to slow my pace a little to help ensure that it would. <br />
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As soon as I hit 12 to go, I was ready and antsy to start racing. I took the first mile a little too fast but the course was more decline here and I felt amazing. I was hoping to hold a pace under 8:00 and ideally around 7:40 for the last 12.2M but the weather turned and it just added a little more difficult than I expected. I was happy working to just stay under 8:00. <br />
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I wish I knew what place I was in when I hit 12 to go. I wish I counted how many people I passed on the way in. There was one guy at the end that was moving better than me but I passed a massive number of runners as if they were standing still. Not one female could go with me and I knew it. <br />
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As the rain came down and the wind picked up, I reached the boards again. There is no shelter there. Just a straight run along the ocean for miles. I passed a younger female runner who tucked in tight directly behind a guy (boyfriend maybe) who was clearly there to help her. He was shielding her from the elements. We had 2 miles to go. He looked back and saw me coming. I could tell he wanted to try to hold me off. He said something to her to encourage her. They picked the pace up together, her so close to him that she couldn’t even see the ground in front of her own feet. As I blew past them, I wanted to say “It must be nice to have a helper but you don’t need him” but I decided that was not necessary and it didn’t matter, they couldn’t stop me or even go with me. This could have been her first marathon and maybe she just didn’t believe in herself yet. She was doing really well. Some day this girl is going to want to know what it feels like to run strong without anyone to aid her. <br />
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I wanted to kick with 2-3 miles to go but the wind was making every step work. I was still moving well and decided to wait until the 25M mark to make my final push. <br />
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I was able to get my pace down to 7:11 for the last .35 miles and that felt amazing. <br />
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When I checked the result I was incredibly happy to see I managed a 3:35 and was 10th place female! When I look at my last half, I managed a 7-minute negative split and felt such a huge sense of accomplishment. <br />
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I waited a few minutes for Kim to come through, hoping she did well. At 4:01, she came sprinting over the finish line, having managed to run a 10-minute negative split herself with her last mile her fastest! </span></span></div>
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<br /><b>My Stats:</b> </span></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-11674608889516672282019-10-07T08:45:00.001-04:002019-10-08T09:45:49.627-04:00Clarence DeMar, 9/29/19, The Battle between Goal Orientations (Ego vs Task) and How to Negative Split a Marathon. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">As Kim and I walked to the starting line, I am having a<b> mini-mental crisis because with 8 minutes to go I FINALLY decide to think about my actual game plan</b>. <br />
<br />All week I have been jokingly texting Kim about how I am going to win the race and sending her photos of my Garmin’s predictions for me: “You are peaking!” it told me. “Estimated marathon time 3:15” it proclaimed. Now that’s funny. <br />
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<b>I mutter “Ego vs Task… Ego vs Task”</b> Kim askes me what the heck am I mumbling. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br />“I am in a crisis!” I tell her and I don’t know what to do. If only I knew a Coach who could help me!” <br />
<br /><b>This is my last race before my next surgery (4th surgery now for my GI issues) and I have no idea what will happen once I go under</b>.<b> I am afraid of a setback.</b> I have been feeling good lately but I am not healed. I want to walk away from this race feeling good about my run. This could be the last marathon I run for a while and I want to be happy to be here. <br />
<br />I explain, “Part of me wants to go out and run 7:50 pace from the gun. I <i>feel</i> like I can run 7:50 pace but I don’t know for how long. Maybe I just need to see how far I go before I blow up? Maybe I hold on? Maybe I want a chance to shine before I need to stop racing again for however long that is?” <br />
<br />I go on…“The other part of me knows that just ran Sandia Crest Marathon with an 8:45 pace. I have no business going out at 7:50 pace, regardless of what my heart wants. And DeMar is not a goal race. Why do I think I can go out hold sub-8 the whole way? What have I done lately to support that plan? Nothing at all! So I know the plan should be to start about 8:40 pace (just a little faster than my last marathon pace) and try to negative split this thing and finish feeling strong. <b>I should be aiming for an 8:30 per mile average pace. That is what I should be doing! </b> <b>I should be working on the TASK of pace management and Negative Split Execution right now not dreaming about racing fast, winning anything, getting a BQ, or trying to run like I have actually trained to run a fast marathon</b>.” <br />
<br />Ok, it is settled, seconds before the gun goes Kim an I agree it would be fun to run together again until we decide we need to do our own thing. <b>I remind her that there is a hill around the 14M mark and once I get over that hill if I can pick up the pace that is where I want to start to make a move to negative split. </b><br />
<br />I knew the first half would <b>not</b> go smoothly because I still needed to use a bathroom and I just couldn’t get my body to cooperate pre-race. This better not become a thing. I never had this issue before. I can’t stop in the middle of a goal race. Fortunately, this is not a goal race. <br /><br />I read my race report last night from the last time I ran Clarence De Mar. It was a glorious experience for me and I have been wanting to get back here ever since. <br />
<br />Kim and I take off, there is a nice downhill start and we are moving well, faster than 8:40 pace but it is fine, we use the descent and then settle into goal pace as the miles unfold and the terrain rolls. <br />
<br />The course is net descent but there are hills throughout. <br />
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<b>M1 8:24</b><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M2 8:53</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M3 8:39<br />M4 8:41</b><br />
<br />By Mile 4 I realize I need a bathroom and there are none around. By Mile 7 we start asking people where the next bathrooms would be and are told 1.5M by everyone, for at least 3 miles. ;) </span></div>
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<b>M5 8:54<br />M6 8:48</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M7 8:49</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M8 8:48<br />M9 8:42<br />
</b><br />Finally, at Mile 10 we found two. We pick up our pace to get there, knowing we will wait for others to get out. We are as quick as possible but loose about 2 minutes. I feel good enough to finally take my second gel. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M10 8:22<br />M11 10:45</b><br />
<br />Over the dam, we go. There is wind. It adds work. It is noticiable. I was hoping for some beautiful fall foliage but the weather has been warm and the trees just barely started to turn. It was still a lovely view. <br />
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<b>M12 9:01</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M13 9:16</b><br />
<br />After fighting the wind, Kim says that she wants to slow a little to get her legs back. She is smart. Trying to run even just a few seconds per mile too fast to stick with a friend can destroy the experience. Slowing down, taking a gel, regrouping and getting into the right pace is best. This is TASK-oriented work. Ego-oriented thinking would have had Kim trying to stick with me even when she knew she wanted to slow down just a little.<br />
<br /><b>The best work we do happens when we are Task-Mastery Focused (i.e. know your specific and personalized job and do only that job regardless of what anyone else around is doing) AND Ego-Focused (having a desire to beat the norm… BUT at the right time). </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-kerning: none;">I repeat, there is nothing wrong with Ego-Focused work, but it has to be well-timed. We are racing. Racing is primarily an Ego-Focused activity. This is ok. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-kerning: none;">But i</span>f we become Ego-Focused too early in a race, we will fail to master our task and that is a recipe for a bad experience. I believe that Task-Focus pacing should dominate the first 2/3 - 3/4 of a race. The Task-Goal should be set based upon what you have done lately so that the goal is realistic and achievable. Set a task that is too hard and it is really just an Ego-goal in disguise. Set a realistic Task-Goal and this should allow you to shift to Ego-Focused racing in the last chunk of the race and blowing up no longer becomes a threat. </b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"> <br />With the bathroom stop, by the time we got to 12 miles we were averaging about 8:56 pace. I tell Kim that I can feel that gel I took kicking in and I want to try to push myself. The hill I thought was as 14-15 was really at 12-13 and I just want to power over it. The pace so far was perfect. I felt really strong and I knew I had another gear. We stay goodbye and I pick it up. <br />
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<b>M14 8:30</b><br />
<br />I hit the half marathon mark on the course at 1:58:xx. I realize this is close to a 4:00 hour marathon if I don’t fade but I was hoping for something sub-3:49 (to beat my last marathon time from two weeks ago). I actually did want to try to go sub-3:40 but with a 2 hour first half, I would have to run a 1:39-1:40 to get that. That was not realistic. I wasn’t even sure I could run a 1:40 half right on its own now outright. <br />
<br />At this point, I start to run by feel and push myself just hard enough to find something that felt sustainable but strong. I felt like I just ran a 13-mile warm-up and now I was about to race! <br />
<br />My legs feel fresh. I look at my watch and my pace is 7:48! This felt like 8:30 if I had to guess. It felt sustainable. I think back to the start of the race when I said “I think I can run 7:50s… I just don’t think I can do it the whole way” Now here I am at mile 15 running 7:48 pace and I tell myself “Well, you don’t need to run 7:50s the whole way, but can you do it for the second half?.”… I am sure as hell gonna try” I reply to myself.<br />
<br />It has been a long time since I felt this good in a race. I was clicking off 7:40-8:00s like I did this all the time. Honestly, I did not run one non-stop run during training over the last 12 weeks and I did a lot of run/walking during the second half of the Sandia Crest marathon after I blew through the first half there in a 1:45:xx. <br />
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<b>But here at Clarence DeMar, I felt alive! </b>I felt strong, I felt competent. I felt like I was flying! When you are running 7:50s around people running 9:00s, 10:00s, 11:00s, it makes you feel like you are sprinting. <br />
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<b>M15 7:48<br />M16 7:43<br />M17 8:04</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M18 7:39</b><br />
<br />At about 19 miles in, I see a sight that says “I love running… I Love Running… I LOVE RUNNING!” I think “I actually DO Love running. God, how I missed this!” I remind myself to smile. This is awesome.<br />
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<b>M19 8:08<br />M20 7:58</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M21 7:53<br />M22 7:47<br /> </b><br />Mile 23-24, in part, roll though the cemetery. They are hard miles.<b> The hills are steep late in the race. My form breaks for the first time. This bothers me. I don’t want to unravel. HOLD IT TOGETHER! </b> But still, I am passing ladies who look fit but they are power walking. I am shifting to EGO-Focused now. I am starting to look at my competition and aiming to beat them. From here on I am now working on reeling in my competition.<b> I refuse to stop running when the hill keeps going up. I dig in my with my arms to try to create some momentum. It helps. </b><br />
<br />Once back downhill, I can breathe. I regain my confidence. I smile again. I make jokes with these nearby. I am having fun! I needed this. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M23 8:11</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M24 8:07</b><br />
<br /><b>I know my BQ as a 40-44-year-old woman is 3:40. I can’t believe it but I am going to be close to that, much closer than I expected after a 1:58:xx first half. If I could really push hard and stay sub-8:00, I might get a sub-3:40 and BQ! What a great second half! </b><br />
<br /><b>But then I see that my watch is reading almost .2M long so my marathon will be 26.4 by the time I am done and that will make it impossible to go sub-3:40. </b><br />
<br /><b>I remember my mental break down at the start. Ego vs Task</b>. I need to stop focusing on the BQ, which is not what I came here to do and it is not realistic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>What is my job? What is my task? My job today was to run strong, to run a negative split, to not fade, to finish strong, and to walk off this course feeling like marathon runner again before I have my next surgery which may prevent me from doing this again for a long time.</b> <br /><br />The last few miles start to feel like work, as they should. They are not overwhelming me. I am still passing runners. Runners are getting slower. I overtake them. I feel faster than I should because of it. I use that energy to keep me moving. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M25 7:52</b><br />
<br />The last turn brings us to 26M and it is there I start to feel like I can’t hold the sub-8 much longer… but we have only tenths left. I push for whatever I have left coming through the finish line. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>M26 7:54</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Last .2 </b>(.38 on my watch) at <b>8:15 pace</b> (finally starting to hit the wall ;) ) </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br />I hear my name announced. I can’t believe I am done! <b> 3:42:40. (8:30 pace!)</b> I missed my BQ by just over 2 minutes. Damn bathroom break! ;) Oh well, that was not the goal. My goal was to negative split and that is what I did. <b>A 14+ minutes negative split!</b> <b>I ran my second half more than 1 minute per mile faster than the first half. I felt amazing both inside and out.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">As I walked to get my drop bag I realized <b>“OMG, I am not trying to BQ for 2020. I am trying to BQ for 2021 and I will be 45 on race day in 2021…. my BQ now is 3:50! So technically I BQ'ed at Sandia Crest for 2021 by seconds only… But here at Clarence De Mar, I managed 7+ minute BQ which secures my spot!</b> I also qualified for Chicago too. Maybe 2021 should be a year of World Majors ;) <br />
<br />I wonder how Kim is doing. I get my answer soon as I watch Kim fly in through the finish pushing herself to a solid 4:09 marathon as a long run! She looks so happy. She had her own ups and downs out there but she held it together. She overcame obstacles. She did NOT unravel. She faded a little but not really by much and she finished strong. <br />
<br />What a great day. I missed the marathon so much. It is a battle of physical and mental challenges. Nutrition and Hydration Challenges. Pace strategy challenges. Ego vs Task. <br />
<br />For me: <b>Next up on Oct 4th is another ACell procedure. But this time I am going into this surgery in the best shape I have been in since this started. I am ready for a recovery PR and I want to get back to running marathons as soon as possible. </b></span></div>
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<b>8:30 average pace. I did my JOB. :) </b></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-37549110827483591872019-09-27T11:31:00.000-04:002019-09-27T11:37:06.394-04:00Sandia Crest Marathon (9/14/19, Albuquerque, NM), Another Surgery, and Doing Hard Things. <div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtEfwrPpWRgVgmJUtCL0qXwHhr94ci2whD9d2yNhnVB9Em6WsS7ACSiswAFP6RiuIAGx1Liqlh0_AwxL66QMJKwZEPmCWm1WyVc0G7A-LT0Z8VtVRiHbEbxSurD24xX_0V_pYDXajlPkA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-09-25+at+7.37.24+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1108" data-original-width="1322" height="335" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtEfwrPpWRgVgmJUtCL0qXwHhr94ci2whD9d2yNhnVB9Em6WsS7ACSiswAFP6RiuIAGx1Liqlh0_AwxL66QMJKwZEPmCWm1WyVc0G7A-LT0Z8VtVRiHbEbxSurD24xX_0V_pYDXajlPkA/s400/Screen+Shot+2019-09-25+at+7.37.24+AM.png" width="400" /></a><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Do easy things and life will seem hard. </i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Do hard things and life will seem easy. </i></b><br /> <br />I want to do hard things. I want to persevere. I need to endure. I am not done yet. I am a marathoner. This is not over! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>My Health Update: </b><br />On September 9th, I had an MRI to determine when my next repair surgery would be. I had been feeling a lot better but I knew was still not completely healed. <b>The next day, my surgeon called to tell me good news! The main infected tracts responded favorably to the ACell regenerative matrix treat and my body was actually healing itself! HOLY CRAP this magical regenerative medicine is working. My body is fixing itself! I had no active infection, no fluid accumulation, and what remains of the tracts has been narrowed down to just slivers. </b><br /> <br /><b>I have another surgery scheduled for October 4th</b>. Hopefully, if we apply one more round of ACell to what remains of the tracts I can possibly be healed and move on with my life. Fingers crossed. <br /> <br />But here is the thing, over the past 6 weeks or so, I have regained control over my life despite my illness. It doesn’t matter what is wrong now. I have found a way to manage my symptoms so that I can get back to training and work around my obstacles. I am a long-distance runner and I need to run</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Well before this good news,</b> <b>I decided back in June to register for a marathon.</b> I love the mountains and found a race in New Mexico, The Sandia Crest Marathon. It had a generous deferral policy. I have a very good friend who lives out next to the mountain so even if I couldn’t race I was still going to travel out to NM to hike up to 10,000-13,000 feet. I love being up high. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>My Training: Three Key Workouts, Using What I Had, Training Deliberately.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b>It has been a long time since I raced. <b>Once I recovered from surgery and started moving again, I only had 10 solid weeks to train.</b> This is such a ridiculously short time. I can’t even argue that I had a strong base to work from because I did not. I had shut down my training in March after my second surgery and first ACell attempt. I gained 10-15 lbs of extra weight (107 lb was my best racing weight and I was up to 131lbs the week after my last surgery. I am happy racing at 117 or less. I was carrying at least 10 lbs of bona fide extra mass that wasn’t going to help me train or race well. <br /><br />Knowing I had 10 weeks to get fit enough to endure a marathon, I decided to focus on three key workouts. <br /> <br /><b>(1) Long Runs. </b> Building from 0-24 miles using a run /walk method starting with 0.15 Run/0.1M walk ratio. Each time I went out to run a long run, I would increase my Run distance by .1M or .15M and keep the walk at .1M.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>My long run route was not beautiful</b>. I had to deal with narrow roads, busy intersections, annoyed drivers leaving the MVC all before hit Mile 1 at the Prison and Sex Offender treatment unit. Mile 2 took me under a dirty disgusting bridge, with broken glass, sometimes stray needles, and dead pigeons. I ran past construction sites and down a path behind houses along a river where teenagers loitered to smoke pot. Mile 3 took me through a local park where I had access to water and bathrooms but also grown people who sometimes had trouble behaving themselves. The comments and catcalls get old fast. Mile 4-6 had me navigating narrow shoulders and bad drivers in too much of a hurry. Finally by M7 and beyond I had some peace in a nicer area with bathrooms and water fountains and long traffic-free running paths. At mile 10, I had to turn back and do it all again to get back home. <br /> <br /><b>Week after week, I had to force myself out the door to make this journey to save my soul.</b> I never felt unsafe, but I missed running in the lovely parks of Monmouth county where I could see wildlife that was still alive, smell the clean air, and not get verbally harassed by teenagers or adults who seem to have no idea what it looks like to witness someone doing hard things.<br /> <br />By the end of my training, I was able to run beyond 1 mile non-stop before walking for .1M to recover. My pace was just under 12:00 pace at the start and ended at 9:29 pace for my fastest run/walk long run of 24 miles, which was not actually the last long run I did. I struggled with these runs because most were done late in the day in the summer. I worked hard to make the long runs the focus, increasing my distance at least once but often twice in a week so that I would have the chance to get to 24M with some time to rest. I actually made it 24 miles ahead of schedule and hoped to repeat 24M or even get to 26M at leasts once before I took a week of rest, but I just couldn’t hold on. I managed a second 22M and then a 21M after the 24M, but the last two long runs were much slower than my 24M and I felt like I was just done “cooking” by that time. I was tired.<br /> <br />(2) <b>“Speed work.</b> At least once per week, I worked on trying to get my turnover back and I wanted my legs to get used to the pounding of faster paced running. For this workout, I still used the run/walk method, but the runs were all .45M and walks were 0.5M. The run pace was mid-to-low 8:00 pace with some sub-8 bursts when weather was cooler and I felt strong. These runs were about 8Ms long and by the end, I was able to get one total workout to average sub-9 pace. That was as fast as I could go. <br /> <br />(3) <b>Hills</b>. I used to travel a half-hour to Holmdel Park to run steep repeats of the bowl but with my condition requiring me to say close to home (to deal with the dressing changes and because I did not want to spend any extra time in sweaty clothes with open wounds) I had to find a hill close by. I live at maybe 85 ft elevation. There are no hills here. <br /> <br />The best I could do was a neighbored hill that climbed 46 ft in .15M. I used an "up-over a block-down- turn around and go back up-over a block-down" route to cover .7M with two .15M ups and .15M downs. The grade was about 4.9-5.5%. This is not very steep, but it is not flat either. <br /> <br />The best hill work I did was a 10M run with 7M of hill repeats. I needed to work hard on the downhills so my toes, shins, legs could get used to the pounding descent. But I knew this could never adequately prepare me for 4000 feet of descent down a mountain. <br /> <br />In addition to these runs, I did easy runs with Sidney at whatever pace he wanted (also run/walk) and I walked the dogs as much as I could. I focused on getting as many steps per day as possible and in August I was very close to 800,000 total steps in the month. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I did not do one single non-stop run in 10 weeks time and I was about to go try to run a marathon. lol ;) </b><br /> <br />As a result of my training, I had lost 8 lbs, got my resting hard rate down to 44 bpm, and felt like I had done as much as I could do in the time I had available. I did not do any lifting, or yoga, or jump rope, but I did what I could. I was ready to give racing a marathon a shot. <br />_____________<br /><br /><b>The Race: </b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPygHpeXvHfj_R3Yls4OgoqVBSRXD4M9VIH9GOaTSt57iSDdnfRiHxfjtiFTPaTkY33Nc5zvc7ganSDDdjXqrSy85ifOOayOTG5GBzA5szLAqd7Pp2MxGckvnV542sjc_bT3HSaJtRoNw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-09-25+at+7.33.29+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1008" data-original-width="1274" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPygHpeXvHfj_R3Yls4OgoqVBSRXD4M9VIH9GOaTSt57iSDdnfRiHxfjtiFTPaTkY33Nc5zvc7ganSDDdjXqrSy85ifOOayOTG5GBzA5szLAqd7Pp2MxGckvnV542sjc_bT3HSaJtRoNw/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-09-25+at+7.33.29+PM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I picked Sandia Crest Marathon because I love the mountains</b>. This race was net descent but if you read the review you will see it is not easy. There are mile-long climbs at altitude that are hard for anyone, especially a runner from sea level. The hours of steep downhill pounding will add up and make it hard for the quads to persevere. The dry air is incredibly dehydrating (and just before I left for my trip, my molar cracked and exposed the root making it really hard for me to drink cold fluids with out shooting pain to my brain. Cups of ice water seems like a great idea when temperatures rose, but I just couldn’t handle the pain from the ice-cold fluids hitting a nerve so I know I drank less than I should. <br /> <br />I loved staring at sun rise on a 10,000 foot high mountain top. But I was a little concerned. <b>This would be the time I have run first thing in the morning since maybe January 2018?</b> I have been up and walking dogs first thing in the morning for months, then doing afternoon or evening training most of the time. <br /> <br />The first mile was blazing fast. The descent was no joke. I managed a sub-7 minute pace for mile 1 and can’t remember running that fast since May 2018 at a race. I tried to settle down but gravity made it more jarring to my quads to hit the breaks than it did to just go with the flow. <br /> <br />As I floated along I felt amazing. I could see myself running a fast time, surprising myself. <b>My expectations were to try to beat 4:15, but if I found that I could actually go for a BQ I wanted it! </b>I did not really believe the 3:39 was possible until right now in this race. Suddenly I could really see it happening. I remember running sub-3’s and how smooth I felt. I felt just like this. Oh wow, I am gong to FLY through this race! <br /> <br />Running a mile uphill at about 8500 feet is demoralizing. I am incredibly proud to have been able to maintain a running stride for that entire mile. I didn’t lose as much time as I expected but I am pretty sure I may have taken a few years off my life trying to hold on. <b>Oxygen debt is no joke.</b> At this point, I wasn’t even sure if I could finish the race. BQ! Ha! Who was that delusional idiot back there at mile 3? <b>Success at this point would be measured by me finding that ability to take a full breath of air that actually circulated some oxygen to my extremities.</b> Oh wow did I feel so unprepared for a marathon! Ok, back to reality… the goal once again is to just finish this thing! <br /> <br />Soon we started to go back down. I regained coherence and I got more pep in my step. These next 3 miles were fantastic. I knew I had a smooth ride ahead of me until about the 12M mark. <br /> <br />This course was fast through 12M and then the hard stuff would happen (expect big and rolling hills throughout the second half as the temperature rose and shade decreased). I expected a faster first half than the second half. Mission Accomplished ;)<br /> <br />But by mile 7, I had started to feel my stomach rebelling a bit. I needed to use a port-o-potty but I didn’t want to stop. I was so proud to have run the furthest non-stop run since maybe January? But I did not have an option. And there was a line. It is really hard to wait on line during a race. I lost a least a minute waiting but the rest break surely helped. <br /> <br />Once I started running again I was still holding around an 8:00 average pace and was shocked by this. I really did not think this was truly possible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next hurdle came at mile 12, just before a huge hill that was about 1 mile long. I had to stop again. A runners just one stride before me jumped into the port-o-potty and took literally 3 minutes in there. I know this. I timed him while cursing and pacing. I knew at this point the chance of me BQing was diminishing greatly despite me still technically being ahead of BQ pace. The 12</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-mile hill was a beast and I knew it was getting hotter and hillier as I traveled along. I expected to fade a lot in the second half, which I did.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /> <br />From this point forward, I returned to my run/walk training, walking up the steep hills and running anything I could run. It was getting harder to run because my quads were not prepared for hours of the steep descent. I did no jump rope this training cycle. My “hill” was barely a hill. My quads were in shock and my toes were disowning me. <br /> <br /><b>By Mile 21, I watch my pace fade to slower than BQ pace and for a moment I felt disappointed in mysel</b>f. Had I BQ’d it would have been on the very last day to possible do it and it would have the potential to qualify me for 2 years of Boston. It would have been a raging success to go from such a low point in my health to achieving something so amazing… and I watched it slip away. <br /> <br />But shortly thereafter I had some clarity.<b> I REFUSED to let my inability to achieve a REACH Goal take away the joy I should feel from doing exactly what I was doing, </b>which was running a marathon after almost a year of debilitation health problems off of 10 weeks of prep and I was going to come in well under 4 hours! <b>This is a victory and if I let this feel like a failure then shame on me for not knowing how to set realistic goals for myself.</b> I should know better and it is what I do. <br /> <br />So I shifted and started repeating the mantra I have been using throughout my training. “You are exactly where you are supposed to be. It doesn’t matter where you have been or where you want to go. Right now You Are Exactly Where You Are Supposed To Be” and then I start looking around my world for object and I repeat “Right now you are supposed to be right here, right next to this telephone pole…. Right now you are supposed to be right here, right at this intersection… Right now you are supposed to here, Right at this water stop with the lady where sunglasses shaped like popsicles…. Right now you are supposed to be here, power walking up this mile-long hill at mile 24 and nowhere else.” <br /> <br />This helped me tremendously. I was doing something amazing and I almost missed the joy of it because I about to feel bad about not qualifying for some other race that won’t happen for months. I refuse to distract myself from experiencing joy just to allow myself to feel bad about something else that was not happening. That is crap and I refused to allow myself to feel bad while doing something well. <br /> <br />I decided that since the BQ was out and my body was very tired that I would make sure that I enjoyed the remainder of the race. I worked hard, power walked when I felt I needed to, and enjoyed the emotional ride to the finish line with no pressure to do anything but have fun! <br /> <br />After all, I was running a MARATHON! A hard marathon. And this is where I belong!<br /> <br />I am so proud of my effort. I felt like myself again, even when it all unraveled for me in the second half. :)<br /><br />___________________<br /><br /><b><i>Do easy things and life will seem hard. </i></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13ibvl9aXhuJviEXBmIWALgU-aGgoO5hxZ5o4zbAcP89inHdRRAGWuGqEnK2NnI4m9msQm2Fd03WqD_bvI9UewnizXAAQhyphenhyphenhWN1176A4rYppj6NHXgbDYiQUNxmTMrPiAmKhfRx3ODi4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-09-27+at+11.09.25+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="962" data-original-width="648" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13ibvl9aXhuJviEXBmIWALgU-aGgoO5hxZ5o4zbAcP89inHdRRAGWuGqEnK2NnI4m9msQm2Fd03WqD_bvI9UewnizXAAQhyphenhyphenhWN1176A4rYppj6NHXgbDYiQUNxmTMrPiAmKhfRx3ODi4/s400/Screen+Shot+2019-09-27+at+11.09.25+AM.png" width="267" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Do hard things and life will seem easy. <br />Expand your comfort zone. </i></b></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Persevere. </i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Endure.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>Appreciate the Moment.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u><b>Stats</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Time: 3:49.16</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OA Place: 39</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gender: 12th</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Age 3rd</span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-32534313786406947172019-07-28T08:58:00.000-04:002019-07-29T14:17:05.071-04:007/28/19 Update: Enzo is my Co-pilot. Another Surgery in the future. Never Give Up. I have been quiet here. I believe that "<b>If you don't have anything good to say, then maybe it's best to say nothing at all."</b><br />
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I have been having some very hard heartbreaking experiences. I am never ever looking for people to feel sorry for me, so I didn't feel posting about all the sadness while I grieved and adapted was necessary.<br />
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I am ready to update my blog now. After all, this is a journal of my life... so here it is.<br />
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<b>My Enzo.</b><br />
The hardest thing that has happened to me since my last post was that Enzo died in my arms while Sidney cradled his face and stroked his head and I will never be the same. We had to put him down because what the vets thought was a spinal stroke or a slipped disc appeared to be a terribly aggressive form of cancer called a Hemangiosarcoma.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV9jH18lS8oUC_ph3x53C2rvEZ5C6cg3_8QDLnaNAYJmMJaqvnXuunvjUwjoUnCqV4kvSxGAA4K1fw8RMmk5YsME7niGZdCu_CbUi7uW8nY3jyPSjUjFzYUPF6mQhl4l4-Thj7VBCHXug/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.34+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="804" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV9jH18lS8oUC_ph3x53C2rvEZ5C6cg3_8QDLnaNAYJmMJaqvnXuunvjUwjoUnCqV4kvSxGAA4K1fw8RMmk5YsME7niGZdCu_CbUi7uW8nY3jyPSjUjFzYUPF6mQhl4l4-Thj7VBCHXug/s200/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.34+AM.png" width="140" /></a><b>By the end of April,</b> Enzo was able to trot again up to a 1/2 mile non-stop at a time. This was amazing progress. <b>He was fighting back! </b>I was getting more hopeful that he was healing. His stride wasn't great so I bought him a sneaker to protect his toenails from dragging. He was happy. I was happy.<br />
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It had been months of caring for him when he was completely immobilized and now he could go 1/2 mile on his own. This was a huge improvement in quality of life. But then he had a setback and started to look more uncomfortable. A setback, we were told, meant that it was not a spinal stroke. It was most likely a slipped disc and he could possibly get this fixed. His cardiologist cleared him to have spinal surgery. He was scheduled for an MRI and surgery in early May. But instead of spending an overnight in the hospital, he was kept for 4 days while a team of vets ran a series of test trying to figure out why his symptoms made no sense to them. Why could he walk sometimes? Why did he have a feeling when he should not. They found a mass and said they could possibly get to it and remove it. We asked them to please try. But when they operated they discovered he had no mass at all. He has the remains of a hemorrhage but they could not figure out where it came from. They did see another mass that they could not reach unless they broke his pelvis, which was not happening. They could not even reach it to biopsy it. However based upon what they did not, they suspected only one problem, a type of highly aggressive and untreatable cancer that ofter results in hemorrhaging called Hemangiosarcoma. <b>The fact that he hemorrhaged and did not die at that time is a testament to Enzo's Strength and Will to fight through anything.</b><br />
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After the operation, we brought Enzo home and we were told that we could wait a few weeks and then put him through more exploratory surgeries to see if they could get a conclusive diagnosis by trying to biopsy the mass they could not reach during surgery by going in a different way. If it was Hemangiosarcoma, at this stage there would be no cure. Chemotherapy could be a possible option but it would not heal him if it did anything at all. However, Chemo was not an option because they did not have a conclusive diagnosis. But because the mass was inoperable, we could expect him to experience increasing pain and a potential hemorrhage again at any time.<br />
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<b>We took him home and loved him more than I thought I could ever possibly love anyone or anything in my entire life for only a few days. </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>And then my heart exploded </b>when it was time to say goodbye. Once the pain medication stopped keeping Enzo comfortable and happy, we knew we had to let him go on May 11th.<br />
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Holding him in my arms while we said goodbye was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life and I will never be the same. <b>The reality is we had only a few days with him from his cancer diagnosis to the end of his life and it was simply not enough time to process anything. What made it so much worse for us was that we sent him to the vet with very high hopes that spinal surgery would help him, only to find out that things were much much worse and incredibly aggressive. </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>Yet through it all, my boy Enzo never showed us that he was fighting for his life</b>. He improved. He was trotting up to 1/2 mile the week before. He was happy and he loved his life. <b>He fought so hard. He is my inspiration. He will always be.</b><br />
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I shared this post on FB that felt like a Funeral for Enzo on 5/12 <a href="https://www.facebook.com/shannon.mcginn2/posts/10218501165910977">here</a>. This helped me.<br />
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Since Enzo's passing, he is still everywhere. An old man walks past our house now. We stopped to talk with him one day when he ran up to see our dogs saying "I just want to say Hi to the dogs!" Then he introduced himself <b>"My name is Enzo," he said. We see him now almost every day.</b><br />
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The book <b>"The Art of Racing in the Rain"</b> has been turned in to a movie. This is a story about a dog's recounting of his life with his person on his last day. The dog's name is Enzo. When I first met Enzo, I was listening to the audiobook and named him after this very dog. <b>The trailer for this movie runs repeatedly, breaking my heart each and every time. </b><br />
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<b>Not everyone will share an incredibly special bond with their dog, although I would guess most people truly do. Dogs make sure of this. They are the best creatures on this planet. And every once in a while there is a really special dog that changes your world and Enzo did that for me. I am so blessed to have loved him. </b><br />
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<b>My Health:</b><br />
Since my last post, I had another ACell Regenerative Medicine application to the open fistula tracts in my lower GI. For those following this post because they have a fistula and are terrified please know that I have a very high, complex, horseshoe-shaped, trans-sphincteric multiple tract fistula infection. I am not sure if it gets much more challenging than this. Hopefully, yours is not as complex.<br />
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During my last surgery, the surgeon has said if he could actually reach where my abscess was located, he would try to repair me from the inside with what is called a Flap surgery.<br />
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<b>When I woke up from surgery, I had learned that my abscess is so deep (high) that he could not reach it to fix it internally. </b>While exploring, he also discovered the tract had branched out, spreading to make a new infected tract that needed to be closed as well. It is not a great sign that he could not reach the abscess site to close it.<br />
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He had to make a very large opening in my butt cheek (maybe the size of a half-dollar) and had to use the existing fistula track apply the ACell matrix. He cannot cut me or I will lose bowel control for life. This surgery has not been comfortable, but I am very proud of how I have been managing.<br />
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<b>At one point during a run with Sidney, he turned to me and said "You are the strongest sick person I have ever met" and that, right there, was the best thing anyone has ever said to me. We aren't weak OR strong... we can be both. I am both right now. </b><br />
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After my surgery, I could not move for 5 days. I needed to take the prescription pain meds to tolerate the early days. I took 10 days to rest and then I was back at work. The truth is I really need another week before I really felt well enough to deal with driving, sitting, working, etc without pain meds. I was in a lot of discomfort for 17 days but then I felt better.<br />
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<b>I saw my surgeon on 7/22 and he confirmed what I already knew, the fistula tracts are not fully healed. The ACell did not work, at least not by 7/22.</b> He said to give it 3 more weeks to see what happens (but truly if it was going to work, it should have work quickly). Then we will move on to another MRI and try to assess what surgery I can have next. I already know he can't reach the internal gland that abscessed. I don't know what else he can try to do for me, but with every more complicated surgery comes increased risk that I will be in a colostomy bag so we are taking things slow.<br />
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He did say I am not infected at this time and my surgical site looks like it is healing well. He told me to live my life and if I suddenly have signs of a new infection to call him right away. Because my version of this condition is very complicated, too deep to reach, and has multiple branches, at any time I can become infected and possibly septic again. If I have a fever or pain, I need to stop everything and get treatment. <b>If I have no symptoms I can do what I want, including running as long as I can tolerate it. </b><br />
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<b>Marathon Training, Running for Enzo... Running WITH Enzo still: </b><br />
I have decided that "waiting until I am better" is not working for me anymore. This illness began in October. I waited for months, losing almost everything I love about my life during that time. I am not going to do that anymore.<br />
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So over the last month, I have begun training again. <b>If I had to pick one workout to help me get faster and to build endurance as quickly as possible, it is the "Run/Walk."</b> I still have a large opening from my surgery. Initially, I was packing that wound with antibiotics covered cotton then covering with a plastic adhesive covering with a gauze pad. With that in place, I could run as far as I could tolerate. Right now I don't need to pack the wound anymore. I can just cover it with gauze and plastic adhesive and go on my way.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGVOlfAdpsgQQ15vdmEarvEbPlkFE6P8HoLT8v96eR9wljJ-d4XuxNGCUiwdHHkKcIQ1rDnZLjVl56pd9vhk5_xgbtdaXfswn5ofnVvymeZyxyMWIbViHdBimRvuWcMrNDZt_bdlNttI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.28.32+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="840" data-original-width="1420" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGVOlfAdpsgQQ15vdmEarvEbPlkFE6P8HoLT8v96eR9wljJ-d4XuxNGCUiwdHHkKcIQ1rDnZLjVl56pd9vhk5_xgbtdaXfswn5ofnVvymeZyxyMWIbViHdBimRvuWcMrNDZt_bdlNttI/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.28.32+AM.png" width="320" /></a><br />
I am now up to 14-mile long runs and my fastest and most recent 12-mile run was at 9:25 pace walking .10M each mile.<b> I am getting stronger. I am getting faster. I am not giving up. </b><br />
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<b>I have a Long Run playlist. Somehow the song "Fix You" by Coldplay ended up saved to my Long Run playlist. "Fix You" was the song I played 2-3 times per day when I did PT exercises with Enzo to try to help him heal his spinal injury (when we thought it was just that)</b>. With my playlist on shuffle, "Fix You" will randomly play. The last few times it came on just as I reached the park where Enzo and I trained most often. I can't help but feel like Enzo is now trying to fix me. I can believe anything I want to believe. I choose this.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHA-pfwAxTHc64lzMgXjlauTR5uTFhwf0YUvmdI0F4nVrkIKW1AzcPxMBND-Tmd7yBUCdKWhxJ5xTlcVayVBOidFuwLHg2iwaVD9Mptcy9BVxjuWFTwwLVB6QIZ_gW6cYQ63E_nwSeI8A/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.43+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="904" data-original-width="1016" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHA-pfwAxTHc64lzMgXjlauTR5uTFhwf0YUvmdI0F4nVrkIKW1AzcPxMBND-Tmd7yBUCdKWhxJ5xTlcVayVBOidFuwLHg2iwaVD9Mptcy9BVxjuWFTwwLVB6QIZ_gW6cYQ63E_nwSeI8A/s200/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.43+AM.png" width="200" /></a><b>I can't explain how much I miss having his leash tethered to my wrist when I run</b>. <b>I walk Lapis and Piper with a waist belt. No one is tethered to my wrist anymore.</b> Enzo was always a crazy dog and not the type that could be off-leash ever. He just wanted to run. He wanted to run fast and he wanted to run far. He didn't give a crap about what anyone else thought he should do. He was his own boss. That is what you get from living on the street for who knows how long. He had a lot of issues, but he was happiest when he ran. He had the ability to run over 50 miles per week with me and could have done more if I didn't get tired.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEFf-1XhtH2jfta9GbvotfR3vx-JG5UCGtul_woRb8n_gwTVDhb_mIjRqUT_nNIRL8UELqpuSrBcFHfhVgFXUx4rSlxrkWTcbZRzL5ufJGejI_uv44CcuqS8BRZmlFYkZ1IW6yq9Vs2U/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.22+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="894" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEFf-1XhtH2jfta9GbvotfR3vx-JG5UCGtul_woRb8n_gwTVDhb_mIjRqUT_nNIRL8UELqpuSrBcFHfhVgFXUx4rSlxrkWTcbZRzL5ufJGejI_uv44CcuqS8BRZmlFYkZ1IW6yq9Vs2U/s200/Screen+Shot+2019-07-28+at+8.52.22+AM.png" width="200" /></a><b>So now I well enough right now to train again. And I am not just doing this for me. I am carrying my boy Enzo with me in my heart wherever I go. I am letting him do what he always loved to do. </b><br />
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<b>If I make it through this cycle of marathon training, it is only because of Enzo. I run for him now. I refuse to sit back and wait when I can be out there Fighting like Enzo did every day. Enzo is the inspiration for everything that happens to me now in my life. Where I go, he goes and I want to take him everywhere. </b><br />
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<b>Enzo is my Co-pilot. </b><br />
<b>He is my inspiration. </b><br />
<b>He never gave up. </b><br />
<b>I can't either. </b><br />
<b>Not now. </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>#EnzoIsMyCoPilot, #CreatingMomentum!, #NeverGiveUp</b>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-12849161241264759022019-04-10T13:55:00.003-04:002019-04-10T14:25:00.128-04:004/10/19 Starting over again, after a really hard 4 months.<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">A lot has happened since December. I am exhausted, truly. But things are getting better in every way. <br />
<br /><b><u>My Husband and our new dog:</u></b> In January, my husband Sidney was deployed to Afghanistan. He just got home. It was long 3.5 months. The most beautiful part of his deployment was him finding Lapis. </span></span><span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif;">While deployed Sidney befriended a puppy. He found out that in his area of Afghanistan, the culture is not dog-friendly. If this "little" girl was not found a home, she would be either euthanized (most likely shot) or released to the wild (off-base) where she would likely not survive the harm from people or other animals.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Lapis at 3 months old</span></td></tr>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">By February 10, we had coordinated with and help to fundraise for Puppy Rescue Mission to have her shipped to a shelter in Kabul, quarantined, vaccinated, medically cleared, and transported home to us to join our family. She just got here too. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sidney named her Lapis after the blue gemstone found in the mountains of Afghanistan. Sid wanted her to have a name that represented her place of birth but he wanted it to be connected to something beautiful, not the base or the desert. She appears to be all or part "Afghan Kuchi (Shepherd)" which are dogs that follow nomad herders around protecting them from wolves and thieves. I took Lapis for a mile of jogging yesterday and it turns out she LOVES to run, at least right now. (Vet already said I can start running with her)<br />
<br /><b><u>My Health</u>:</b> On 2/5, I changed surgeons. My old Colorectal surgeon gave me one option for surgery that had a low success rate and too high a risk of incontinence. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I found a doctor in NYC from Columbia. He provided me with a second opinion about my fistula. So far this tunnel of infection of my lower GI tract threatened to leave me incontinent once a surgeon would attempt to close the hole. Because this hole was left open, I was living on months of antibiotics with drains in place to prevent me from becoming septic again. This new doc explained that he wanted to try a minimally invasive new procedure that used ACell, regenerative medicine, to stimulate my body to heal itself. When the Acell matrix comes into contact with injured tissue, it triggers the cells to turn back on and regrow. This has a good chance of repairing me completely or in part. If only partially successful, it should make my situation so much better so that if I did need another operation, that next operation would be simple not leave me incontinent. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was able to find some promising research on this procedure. It seemed hopeful and involved no cutting, minimal pain, and an uncomplicated and speedy recovery process. </span></span><span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif;"><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25975335">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25975335</a></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Enzo needed 6 weeks of crate rest </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">to help initial his healing.</span></td></tr>
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<b><u><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></u></b><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><u>Enzo (my boy, my family)</u></b>: On 2/18 Enzo had what was most likely a spinal stroke and became completely paralyzed</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">in his back left leg. While on a walk, not even .5 miles into the walk, he suffered some incident that caused him to lose functioning over 12 hours and eventually he could no longer walk. I think knowing Enzo is an older dog, both Sid and I were both afraid something might happen to him while Sid is deployed and it did. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was the most heart-breaking situation I have even been in with a pet, watching them suffer from sudden immobility. I learned how to do PT for him, I took him to 5 vet appointments for help, including a neurologist. For the first 9 days, life was miserable and recovery seemed hopeless. By day 11, Enzo was starting to get around better and used his leg more. All I wanted was for Enzo to be basically OK by the time Sid returned. With a lot of work, Enzo was able to walk a little by the time Sid saw him again. This was good but not great. Enzo may never run again. He may never fully regain the use of his left back leg. But, we are going to keep trying to rehab him to the best of our collective ability. <br />
<br /><b><u>My Surgery:</u></b> On 3/8, I had my ACell surgery. I haven’t run much since. I was told to try to move very little for the first 5 days just to give the matrix the best chance to trigger regeneration. I could not lift anything. I was not supposed to be on my feet much. With a paralyzed dog at home who needs to be carried everywhere, I was terrified I would not be able to care for myself or for Enzo well at that same time. But Enzo rose to the occasion. The day of my surgery, Enzo started to use the dog ramp and dog door on his own. I did not have to lift him at all during my recovery. After 5 days, I was told to exercise lightly at first and to take things easy until I saw my surgeon again for my 4-week follow up. Today was that day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>It has been so exhausting trying to take care of Enzo and myself post-surgery while attending to Piper and the birds' needs without any paid time off to use and without Sidney around to help me. But it all got done and everyone made it. My training fell off my plate which was likely the best thing I could have done, since training could have messed up my healing process. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><u style="font-weight: bold;">Sidney's Return and then Lapis's arrival: </u> On March 27, Sidney finally returned from Afghanistan. It was nice to have him back. We had two full days together before we had to drive to DC from NJ to pick up Lapis on 3/30. We quarantined Lapis further from our other dogs, which meant Sid and I taking turns sleeping on an air mattress with her until the vet checked her. She did come back positive for Giardia and all dogs got 7 days of meds twice per day. I felt like a nurse for the last week. LOL. They are finally all healthy but they all need time to become friends.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXX5V_YkHj87hvMoStBY-2TiAbM90MpL03TvW36roO_F38eUf9ySz5YuuCGSuzqghfogQzf5kHkyuTx8y7FDu3kGEze7679ato5vWTPO6cYwsZSEUM2W5K1_8Q6G6MdzwgZocHN0bCoFQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-04-10+at+1.44.09+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1008" data-original-width="1376" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXX5V_YkHj87hvMoStBY-2TiAbM90MpL03TvW36roO_F38eUf9ySz5YuuCGSuzqghfogQzf5kHkyuTx8y7FDu3kGEze7679ato5vWTPO6cYwsZSEUM2W5K1_8Q6G6MdzwgZocHN0bCoFQ/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-04-10+at+1.44.09+PM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Today, 4/10, I was able to see my surgeon to find out if I needed another surgery. I knew I </span><span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif;">wasn’t 100% healed but I was trying to not get my hopes up either. I was afraid he would tell me that I needed a new surgery but </span>instead<span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif;">, he <b>told me that the ACell matrix seems to have worked. </b>He reported that he can’t see any evidence that I have a fistula anymore, but I am not 100% healed at that time. I was told to go live my life and come back to see him either (1) only if I have any pain suggesting infection, or (2) if I want peace of mind, I could see him again in 4 weeks. I opted to return in 4 weeks. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">ACell is an ECM that trigger regeneration of tissue</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">So now I am ready to start over. There is still a lot of work to do but we are on the upswing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">First, I have to train all the dogs to get along safely. I have to train Lapis to run more than a mile with me. I have to train Piper to not be fearful of this giant puppy (40 lbs at 5 months old). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have to keep working with Enzo to see if I can get him walking better on his bad leg. I worry about him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">And now I have to wait 4 more weeks to find out if this nightmare is over while praying I do not become septic again. I can start lifting again and I can start running again. For now, I feel like I have experienced a small miracle with this ACell regenerative treatment. <br />
<br />I feel both happy and terrified at the same time. I get to move on with my life while hoping nothing bad happens along the way. The more time that passes, the less fear I will have about this. So for now, I get to start training to rebuild my fitness again. <3 </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">And for the record, this is Lapis at 5 months only 2 months after that first photo was taken. She is going to be huge! </span></td></tr>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-16021352856367020082018-12-28T12:52:00.004-05:002019-03-25T07:35:11.538-04:00The Day My Asshole Tried to Kill Me and Why I May Never Race Again...<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue";">If you are</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue";"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue";"><b>easily offended </b>by foul language, unmentionable body parts, bodily functions, and details about surgeries, <b>then you are dismissed</b>. This post is not for you.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue";"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br />If you are curious as to what happened to me and would like to offer some understanding, support, and encouragement during my attempt to find myself again, then you may proceed. <br />
<br /><b>This post, actually, is for me (and for others newly diagnosed who need some help making sense of WTF is happening). My blog. My journal. My body. I write about the good. I will write about the bad too. </b><br />
<br />****<br /><b>Why am I sharing all this personal stuff?</b> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">First, because </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I train a lot of athletes who are wondering what the heck happened to their coach</b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">. I care about my runners and I want them to know what is happening to me. I want to be a role model of perseverance and I want to show them that when I tell them to never give up on themselves, I also practice what I preach. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Second, I am really sharing it publically because for the last three weeks all I have seen are horror stories</b>. There seems to be no hope for people in my situation, just problem-focused misery. I have been desperately seeking examples of people who are managing this condition well. I want to read about people who are living life. I want to see athletes succeeding despite this condition. But I have not found one post, not one comment, no blogs from anyone who racing marathons or playing sports competitively in my condition. (I am sure they are out there but they just may not want to talk about their asshole). The people who are sharing their stories are the people who have seemed to give up.<b> I don’t want to give up! </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>If I can’t find a success story, then I want to be that success story. </b>I want people, like me, who are desperate for hope to find my blog. I want them to read about the hard reality that I am facing (this is bad and I can't pretend it isn't). But I want people to also see that I have found my way and they can to. This is not pretty and it is not problem-free, but I am managing it. <b>If I can manage, others can manage. </b> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>What happened? </b></span><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b>It has been just over 3 weeks since my asshole tried to kill me</b>. <i>Jeez, m</i></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><i>ake one too many self-deprecating jokes about trying to not poop your pants on a long run and the universe decides to blow up your anus. Not cool. I didn’t even know this was a thing. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">****<br /><b>For those people hate "vague-booking" here you go. Careful what you wish for! </b></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">On 12/4, I was rushed into emergency surgery because a <b>crypt gland</b> several inches inside my anal canal became very <b>infected</b>. <b>Why? No reason</b>. The gland, whose job is to lubricate the anal canal malfunctioned. It became impacted or maybe succumbed to bacteria. This type of infection is most often linked to </span>Crohn's<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Diverticulitis, Diabetes, Obesity, etc… none of which I have. </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I have Bad Luck. Sometimes Really Bad Luck.</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"> <br />The mounting pressure from the pus needed a place to go. Rather than take the path of least resistance and discharge through my anal canal, the raging river of infection decided to go on a seek-and-destroy mission to find a new exit out of my body through my left butt cheek. On its way, it bore a tunnel through my both my voluntary and involuntary sphincter muscles. <b>This tunnel is called a Fistula</b>. <br />
<br />On its way out, my river of infection<b> decided to divide and conquer splitting into two branches to make what is called a horseshoe fistula.</b> This is bad. My fistula never actually busted through the surface of my skin but rather created two huge pockets of infection, one inside my body and the other near the surface of my left butt cheek. When sitting, could feel a large hard mass in my butt cheek. <b>After many days of this (it took two visits to get this diagnosed correctly), I became septic</b>. A few moments into my second doctors visit, my doctor realized that I was septic and ran from the exam room to book an Operating Room ASAP! I had surgery a few hours later. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOB2wgu6vZCQZaUIjKhmZEj_flQvQp9SlXd4Qhrj38vE5oAliYicj_O7ZffuBePhSWDX99_rtvwO9yj_ymq4rnekl_dE1GBJvC8hVShcwrtncMlvtQuxMiBfj1Gm8KNkmJfxXmfSBRt4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-12-28+at+11.37.44+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="950" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsOB2wgu6vZCQZaUIjKhmZEj_flQvQp9SlXd4Qhrj38vE5oAliYicj_O7ZffuBePhSWDX99_rtvwO9yj_ymq4rnekl_dE1GBJvC8hVShcwrtncMlvtQuxMiBfj1Gm8KNkmJfxXmfSBRt4/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-12-28+at+11.37.44+AM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Here is a short cartoon that shows what happened</b> (there is no sound): <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA0wqcoeI_g"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA0wqcoeI_g</span></a><br />
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<br /><b>When I woke up from surgery, I was not prepared. </b>I was told I have a very large complex fistula that was incredibly infected and it passed through both my sphincter muscles.<b> This meant it could not be repaired.</b> Instead, my surgeon inserted two seton drains and a larger tube drain. The setons will stay in place for 4 months. The tube was removed 10 days after surgery. <br />
<br /><b>The setons look like large blue rubber bands that are threaded through the fistula tunnel and looped out my anus and then tied and sutured in a knot outside of my body. Not comfy. </b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC5W5rHlACEn9BLWJEpUv5RvnQiD2tOSXhhu4QSC0e64iHO5fLJPuDVtjkYRAlUnmwFyS8pyHqBlHIzJThB_vs0OagCX5B922BJ6d7mfjWANrUrmrE74eOYPM4JuNamLwd3RQ8jGsJ650/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-12-28+at+11.37.58+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="602" data-original-width="562" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC5W5rHlACEn9BLWJEpUv5RvnQiD2tOSXhhu4QSC0e64iHO5fLJPuDVtjkYRAlUnmwFyS8pyHqBlHIzJThB_vs0OagCX5B922BJ6d7mfjWANrUrmrE74eOYPM4JuNamLwd3RQ8jGsJ650/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-12-28+at+11.37.58+AM.png" width="296" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;">The setons keep the fistula tract open so that the infection can continue to drain as needed for months. The setons help “mature” the fistulas by irritating the tunnel causing scar tissue to form inside the walls of the tunnel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The third tube-like drain was inserted to keep the large fistula exit hole the surgeon cut into my butt cheek open so that it could continue to drain the infection and so I would not have to repack the wound each day. The doc</span> stuffed a huge wad of gauze packing inside the tunnel during surgery. I got to pull that all out 24 hours later. I needed to wait 48 hours before trying to walk. I was told to wait a week before trying to do any exercise. And I was told to wait 2 weeks before lifting anything heavy. </div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The setons stay for 4 months to provide an escape route for any new infections that will (likely) form in the future. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">***** <br /><b>Then I went home. And cried. A lot. For three days.</b><br />
<br /><b>WTF just happened to me?</b> Here is an excellent video that very clearly explains the different types of fistulas and the different types of treatment. <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM4qGZ88McM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM4qGZ88McM</a> <b>Mine is one of the complex types. I do nothing half-assed. #OverAchiever.</b></span><br />
<br /><b>First please know that any type of anal fistula is incredibly rare and they all suck.</b> The majority of those who have fistulas have a “simple” fistula. These are very close to the anus and do not cross any muscle. These simple fistulas are easy (but very painful) to fix with one surgery that “lays open” the track by cutting through the skin, opening the tunnel, sewing it open to lay it flat. It heals slowly and painfully over time. Without muscle involvement, there is no risk of losing one’s ability to control bowel movements. <br />
<br /><b>A minority of people with fistulas will experience “complex” fistulas.</b> These are the type that have burrowed through one or both sphincter muscles, which control our continence. We have two sphincters, a voluntary and involuntary sphincter. Once these muscles are cut too deeply (like during surgery), they will stop working forever. However, the fistula doesn’t damage them enough to impact bowel control. <b>Surgical intervention will leave a person incontinent if too much muscle is cut. </b><br />
<br />The first type of complex fistula is called an intra-sphincter fistula. It crosses through only the internal involuntary sphincter but does not touch the voluntary sphincter. There is some hope for bowel control. If this type of fistula involves less than 30% of the one sphincter muscle, this fistula may also be “laid open” as well with low risk of incontinence since most of the sphincter muscles will not be cut. <br />
<br />The second type of complex fistula is called a <b>trans-sphincter fistula, which crosses through both the voluntary and involuntary sphincters. Surgery to repair trans-sphincter fistulas are more likely to fail and more likely to leave a person incontinent because both sphincter muscles are involved.</b> This is my type.<b> </b><br />
<br /><b>The only thing that can make a trans-sphincter fistula more challenging to treat is the presence of multiple or horse-shoe tracts.</b> This means the fistula split and took more than one route and is now longer than those that took more direct routes. The longer the fistula the harder it is to close. The more tracts, the harder to treat.<br />
<br /><b>What do I have: A complex, high, horseshoe-shaped, trans-sphincter fistula. This is not going to be an easy fix. </b><br /><br />***** <br /><b>What is next: Complete Cure vs Colostomy Bag? Only time will tell. </b><br />
<br />Because the sphincter muscles cannot be cut, the seton drains are put in place and they remain for months. As I explained, this is supposed to scar the walls of the fistula tract to seal closed the inside and lower the risk of re-infection along the tunnel. However, this tunnel is directly connected to the inside of my anal canal. Anal canals are not germ-free places. Infections of fistula are to be expected while the seton is in place because fecal matter can still get in the fistula opening from the inside and there is nothing I can do to stop it. This is bad news. <br />
<br />At the present time, I can do what I need to do to keep the outside of my body clean and healthy. This means I take Sitz Baths every single time I use the bathroom at home. I try to not use the bathroom when not at home. I need to keep my new extra butt cheek hole covered with clean gauze since it drains (not a lot) all day and night. I get to wear menstrual pads every single day now to catch any drainage. This is fun. I feel bad for men with this condition.<br />
<br /><b>In about 3-3.5 months from now, my surgeon plans to attempt to close the internal hole from the inside.</b> There are a handful of methods, all with not very good odds. Some options are to pull a flap of skin over the opening from the inside, but that usually fails as the flap pops off. Another method is to try to stitch the tunnel closed, which also tends to fail. Some doctors tried to create plugs, but those pop out. Some doctors try to use glue to fill the fistula, but that is not very effective. There are some promising results with laser cauterization, but this is still considered experimental and not available to the public unless you live in the UK. Some go to India for some special magical thread treatment that is not approved here in the US. Some have the seton drain rigged to be a "cutting-seton" and it is pulled tighter and tighter overtime to cut through the muscle slowly, but that has problems too. </span>Some people do decide to leave the loose seton drains in for life. <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">But over time, a risk of anal cancer can possibly increase because the drains are foreign bodies that are constantly being rejected. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">(Edit: When asked for research to support this of increased risk of anal cancer from long term use of draining, I cannot immediately find the resource at this time so I am adding this note for now to say this is not a common concern and many people do choose to leave setons in a long time, rather than undergo surgery. There is NOT strong evidence that long-term use of setons increases the risk of eventually developing anal cancer. Balancing risks is important. As a cancer survivor, I am more worried about cancer recurrence than others may be so this detail struck me as relevant for my personal journey.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"> <br />Many people have multiple surgeries. Every time a surgical intervention is attempted, there is a risk of damaging the sphincter. The patchwork can fail at any time, days after surgery or months or years later. Reinfection rate for those with complex fistulas is very high, especially once the setons are removed. Multiple attempts to repair the fistula to stop the infections can lead to incontinence. As a result, some patients who are not able to fix the fistula are fitted with a colostomy or ileostomy bag. Usually, by the time someone needs a colostomy bag they seem to actually want it because the battle against repeated infections will finally be over.<br />
<br />Here is a link to some research about how hard it is to close fistulas. The more complex the fistula the lower the success rate for closure</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">. <b>Mine is very complex.</b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3160532/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3160532/</a></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When a fistula is horseshoe-shaped the failure rate is closer to 60%. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">*****<br />Here is a flowchart that tells me what I can expect. I<b> am in the Draining Seton Stage of the Complex side of this flowchart.</b> I can heal or I won’t. We shall see. What should follow after "Follow-up" if we loop back to recurrence is "Nothing is working, infections persist, colostomy bag needed..." </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"> <br />***** <br /><b>So what is happening to me now?</b> </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b>I am an ultra-runner at heart. Ultra-runners are solution-focused athletes. We endure. We have a high pain tolerance. </b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Meditation taught me focused on the "here and now" and to focus on what I can control. Acceptance is liberating. </b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"> <br />At first, I felt like the universe literally ripped my heart and soul out my asshole. I am a runner. I own and operate my own coaching business. My social life revolves around racing. I was a sub-3 marathoner. I ran 43 miles in 6 hours as a 40-year-old woman. Running is where I belong. It is who I am. I have one more class to complete in order to earn my Masters of Science (M.S.) degree in Kinesiology (Science of Human Movement). It was hard to focus on school after this. My entire life revolves around being athletic. I had almost completed 7 years running daily with an average of just under 8 miles per day. That streak ended on 12/4. My soul was crushed. My heart was broken.<b> I took a few days to feel sorry for myself.</b><br />
<br /><b>Then, I started searching for success stories. I found none</b>. Not one. People shared about needing 15 surgeries over several years. People sounded hopeless. The stories of raging random infections were terrifying. They shared about getting colostomy bags and being grateful to finally be infection free. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Trying to become a Success Story (at least at Stage 1): </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>So I decided to try to become my own success story! And f</b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">or the last 3 weeks, I have figured out how to be myself again.</b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> For me, this is a small victory. Just one battle. Not yet the war. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I needed a week before I could run again. So I walked. For the first week of running, I would only run on my treadmill or from my house so I could stop when I needed to. As my runs got longer I had Sidney ride a bike next to me in case I needed to stop. Then I met <b>Kim</b> at a park, but late in the day so I could use my own bathroom. And finally, I met <b>Rich</b> early for 10M and actually had to use the port-o-potty out in the world. And finally, that day, I felt like myself again.<b> Yes the measure of success for me was being able to use a public trail-side port-o-potty. </b> I set the bar high. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b><br /></b></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b>But truly this means I can run anywhere and for as far as I want now. I am not limited anymore! At least not for the next 3-3.5 months unless I get an infection (which could happen at any time).</b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"> <br /><b>The specific obstacles</b> (TMI, but I don’t care. Others who have this issue may want to know this stuff). </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I had to:<br />(1) To figure out how to manage any chafing from the knots from seton bands (so far this is not a problem but I have not run more than 10.2 miles). I have an arsenal of lube to test when/if needed. Not needed yet and I don't want the lube to mess up the Tegaderm patches which are sticking well now.<br />
<br />(2) To figure out how to get comfortable running with rubber bands irritating my asshole, making me feel like I had to take an urgent shit with every stride…. but I got used to that and the sensation stopped happening. Phew! <br />
<br />(3) To figure out how to run comfortably with gauze padding in my pants and (4) To figure out how to use the bathroom out in the world when I can’t immediately get into a Sitz Bath to make sure the open incision that I will have for months stays clean and dry as well as to make sure the rubber bands hanging out of my ass are clean. Fun stuff. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">My solution to 3 and 4 above: </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b>Tegaderm patches with gauze included. </b>I am so happy to have discovered that I can cover the setons and open incision with a 4x4 inch plastic Tegaderm patches that have a square of gauze in the center. The adherent patch holds down the majority of the seton drains so that I don’t feel them move and they don't chafe me too badly. Sure, I feel them. The gauze collects any drainage completely so I don't need to use a big wad of gauze or menstrual pads when I run. And because the incision site and most of the lenght of setons are covered with plastic,</span> if<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> need to use the bathroom when on a run, some wet wipes are all I need to keep the area and setons completely clean. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Based upon what I had read online from others with setons, running was not supposed to be possible! Reports of pain, chafing, repeated infections from just walking around or being out and about too long made running seem impossible. <b>Not True.</b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"> <br /><b>So far I have made it up to 10.2 miles at 9:30 pace without any debilitating chafing or any significant pain. I have also run 5 miles at 8:10 pace, but that was hard and uncomfortable. The irritation level is not enough to stop me from running and I was even able to use the bathroom during my run and nothing bad happened. The Tegaderm stays put for the entire run. </b><b> Finally, I feel like myself again! </b></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b><br /></b></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I am in more pain, actual pain, when sitting and when trying to get comfortable to sleep. Running and walking is less painful than being sedentary.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>The Plan: Train for a race, maybe</b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">? </b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I have</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> 3-3.5 more months before my next and first surgery to attempt to close the fistula (See flowchart above. This may be a long journey). </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><b>My surgeon wants to try the LIFT procedure, where he will try to sew closed the fistula by cutting through my butt cheek, between the two sphincter muscles and stitch the fistula closed. I don't believe I can run for at least a month after that. The LIFT will likely fail. I know this. Then I start over with another infected abscess, get new setons and wait again for the next surgery. </b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Based upon the research, for someone with my specific type of fistula (high, complex, horse-shoe shaped, trans-sphincter), the success rate is 40% (so it is most likely to fail) and the risk of some type of incontinence is 30%. So I am not sure yet this is the surgery I want to do. But most have those same odds. </b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"> <br />For now, each day I am infection-free is a day I can train. Each day I can run is a small victory!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">My aim now is to<b> find a race to run by the end of March</b>, before I start the next stage of this journey. I may be cured with the first surgery (fingers crossed) or I may end up eventually in a colostomy bag at the worst if nothing works. I really don’t know what will happen.<br />
<br /><b>But what I do know is that today, nothing bad is happening to me. Today I can run. </b></span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Today I can dream about running at least one more goal race and maybe some other races just for fun along the way. I want to do what I can to make this time I can run count. </b></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-14373886844012494022018-12-05T08:11:00.004-05:002018-12-05T12:45:58.794-05:00My Streak, My Health, My Choices: Today I choose Freedom<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I was not going to share my personal story (and I will not share my private health-related details here) but this is my blog and this is my journal. I also feel that as a running coach, some people do still look at what I do as a guide. Maybe by sharing my decision-making process here, I will help them make their best decisions or maybe even feel better about stopping something when they know their health depends on it.<b> I also need closure and this will give me that. </b><br />
<br /><b>My Streak will reach 7 years 12/27/18, but I will end it today. I feel like this decision deserves an entry in my blog. </b><br />
<br />When I first started streaking, my goal was to run daily as long as it was not going to make any situation worse. I didn’t want to run on crutches or run down the hospital corridor or run around the airport in my jeans if I could avoid it, just to check a box. I did well with my streak. Streaking was not hard for me.<b> I have just under an 8-mile per day average of almost 7 years!</b> Owning a treadmill really leaves no excuse. <br />
<br />My goal was to run daily despite feeling “too tired” or “too inconvenienced” or "because weather was too cold" or “because others in my life were too impatient and I didn’t want them to wait on me.” So I managed these obstacles. I would get up early take care of me and inconvenience others less whenever possible. I learned to be assertive about my needs enough to tell my friends and family that I need to run daily. They understood easily that they would have to be patient and give me the 10 minutes at a minimum that needed to achieve my goal. <br />
<br /><b>Streak running became a part of who I am but it never defined me.</b> I didn’t post a lot about it. I didn’t get the T-shirt. I recently asked to remove my name from the registry. <br />
<br />I just love to run a lot and I have been running since I was 9 years old. <b>Streaking didn’t make me a runner.</b> I don’t really even need to run daily, but running daily helped me run a lot per year and this taught me many lessons.<br />
<br /><b><u>Why I love my Strea</u></b>k: Early in my Streak Running career,<b> I found that the first 2-3 years changed me for the better as an athlete</b>. <b>It taught me that on those days I was too tired run, I would actually feel a lot better and more energized if I ran. I found that on those days I thought I was too sore after a race, that if I ran 1 slow mile, I recovered 2x as fast. As a result, I was back to training strong several days later. With faster recovery times, I was able to safely do more quality workouts without injury in one training cycle than I could if I needed longer rest between hard runs. As a result, my marathon time went from a 3:38 to a 3:15 early on and eventual down to a 2:55 now. My ultrarunning improved since I learned that running 60, 80, 100 miles in a week was possible for me. </b><br />
<br /><b>Streaking helped my body heal faster</b>. I have an autoimmune disorder from chemo that used to send me to the ER 1-2 times per year. My fragile weakened immune system would crash and my body, face, and throat would swell dangerously. My lifestyle did not change much when I started streaking. But after a year of streak running (and building my training volume as a result), I never went back to the ER for autoimmune-related hives again! Sure they came back, but the condition was less severe and much more able to treat at home. Was the cure running daily? Maybe not. It was probably from running more and getting fitter, healthier, stronger, and more resilient.<br />
<br /><b>Streak running helped my mental health. **** <u>Everyone should recognize they need to take care of their mental health as well as their physical health</u>. **** </b><b>I do not have a diagnosable condition. But every single person is susceptible to the impact of stress on their mental functioning and psychological wellness. If you think are you are not, Good Luck to you.</b> Just like how the body gets sick even when you are doing everything right and don't expect it to happen, the mind gets tired and beat down too, especially under stress.<b> I get depressed. Not to the point that I need treatment. To the point that I need to pay attention and take care of myself. I get stressed out. Who doesn't? We all do. It doesn't meas something is wrong with you. It means you are human. Take care of yourself. </b><br />
<br /><b>Streaking taught me how to prioritize my need to take care of ME and not put everyone else first</b>. When you learn how to make just 10, 20, 30+ minutes of “<i>me time”</i> for yourself each day, you also learn <b>this discharges stress and makes room for the new stress of the day that will find you</b>. Running daily was my personal time to decompress daily, even if I ran with people. Running often made me 100% able to give my heart and soul to all those who turned to me with their stress and life challenges. <br />
<br /><b>Remember, my work is split between inpatient mental health rehabilitation and coaching.</b> My job is to help clients overcome their stress, mental health issues, life obstacles, and personal challenges so they can achieve their goals and dreams. I do this as a psychotherapist and as a coach. I sometimes see more adults cry in one month than most see in a lifetime. I often see more violent behavior than most people ever see. I learn of more of my past clients committing suicide than most people will ever know. I work in a volatile, labile, sad and/or dangerous environment and I need to leave my stress at the door when I swipe in. Running always helped me to do that. <br />
<br /><b>Streaking taught me I was stronger than I thought I was as a runner</b>. Streaking taught how to take care of myself first. Streaking helped me learn how to speak up and say "Yes" to myself and my reasonable needs. Streaking helped me to create running goals that were so non-negotiable that my non-running friends and family started to help me find ways to get my runs in no matter where we were or what we were doing. Streaking taught me the tremendous value of decompressing and releasing stress daily through exercise. <b>Streaking made me feel strong.</b> Streaking got me to <b>almost 500 miles in 30 days in 2017</b>. <b>I was a machine. I could run about 16+M per day and not feel tired or beat up.</b> I could jump on my treadmill to watch a TV series and 2.5 hours later walk off with 18+ miles and feel fantastic. Then run the next day, no problem. <br />
<br />****<br /><b><u> The Ending</u>: </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>I always knew I would never run when Streaking would hurt me more. Today is that day. </b><br />
<br /><b>For the last 5 weeks, I have been dealing with an internal infection that has beaten me down and made running feel miserable, but not impossible. So I ran.</b> <br />
<br />I have shared that I tore my hamstring, that I have bursitis and a minor glute strain. Funny thing about those injuries is that I could run 1 mile or more even when first injured. I would feel no strain or pain as long as it was slow and I didn’t stress the muscles, tendons, and bursa. <b>Short, flat, slow running, while I tried to heal, did not seem to be hurting me. Yet, 6 months later I am still injured. I think now it is clear that daily running very likely delayed my healing and caused me to lose time as a runner. </b> <br />
<br /><b>However, my hamstring, glute, and bursa are not what will end my streak.</b> I have a PT and we worked together from August through November. I was finally cleared to run hard and race last month. I raced a 5k and it went really well. I won and beat my time goal by a lot. Then I had an MRI two days later (because that is finally when it was scheduled). It showed I was still not 100% healed and I still had all my injuries. So back to PT and I will be fine soon. <br />
<br /><b>The major issue for the last 5 weeks has been an infection which I don’t need to share the full detail of and I won't here. Some issues can and should be respectfully kept private. </b><br />
<br />Well, first I tried medication which resulted in systemic hives. Then I tried an out-patient operation to clean out and treat the infection, but it failed miserably. The infection returned 10x worse over the past 16 days. I was getting sicker from it daily. My poor friends got weeks of texts from me bitching about pain while I was desperately looking for any sign of relief. <b>I am sure now that the strong long lasting anti-inflammatory prescribed for my hamstring tear was masking the pain of my infection each day (giving me false hope I was healing when I was not). Each night, when the meds wore off I was in too much pain to sleep.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">I finally made an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday (yesterday). <b>It is a little scary when your doctor actually RUNS out of the office to find an OR "today!" I had no time to plan my life around this and even though I wasn’t immediately dying I know a fever with a large painful infection under the skin that can only be reached in the OR is dangerous and could become septic over time. He would not allow me to wait even one day to schedule this. I asked. He laughed at me and said "No we are doing this today! As soon as I get an open OR!" </b></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b><br />Last night I had a surgery.</b> It was a small area and a short operation. I was cut open to clear out the infection. I feel better now. The pain meds help. <b>I was stitched up and had drains put in which will stay in place for <u>4 months</u> and allow the deep tissue to heal safely. </b></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b></b><br />Sepsis is dangerous. It can kill people. This was a real risk I faced if I waited too long. I am glad I caught this early enough to avoid that complication. This is why an OR was booked ASAP for me. <b>I had a growing infection inside my body that left me unable to move comfortably and resulted in a fever. Yet, I STILL ran my Mile daily, lke a good Streak Runners should. “Run Through Everything”, right? And how do I feel about that: <u>Like an idiot!</u> </b><br />
<br />In hindsight, I should have not run at all. Last Sunday (more than a week ago), I notice the restart of the infection after the first operation. I had a follow up appoint on Friday and my doctor didn’t realize I was infected then. I showed him my symptoms and he felt I was still healing from the first operation. He felt the symptoms were just skin irritation and the chafing from the first wound still draining. He felt it would resolve in a few weeks. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">In the next 4 days, I was in greater and greater amounts of pain. By Tuesday of this week (yesterday, 8 days after I noticed initial growing discomfort), I couldn’t do normal activities of daily living without some pain. Work was hard. Driving was hard. I still did things. I ran. I ran 7 miles on Monday, the day before my surgery. I have a very high pain tolerance and I don’t really stop for pain. <b>Due to pain at night preventing sleep, yesterday (Tuesday) I called the doctor to tell him I was in a lot of pain. He found time to see me. As I watched him BOLT out of the office to get an OR, I knew today was going to be the day to say Good Bye to my streak. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>How do I feel about this? 100% Fantastic. I am happy. I am ready. I am not running and risking reinfection. </b><br />
<br />I have taken off from work, which I never do, to heal.<b> I could force myself to run 1M today if it was very important to me, but it is not.</b> Today I will not do anything that will put pressure on the drains or shift the tiny plastic stent implanted in me that is lined up to drain this infection out of me <b><u>for the next 4 months</u></b>. <b>Running 1 mile today will not help my healing. It will not advance my training. I will not help my stress level in any way. I will not make me feel good about myself. So I refuse. </b></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"> <b><br /></b>Today, <b>Not Streaking Running will be a gift.</b> (And <b>I will not start another one</b>. I never want to feel like I HAVE to run ever again). <b>Not Streaking will offer me my Freedom back.</b> I will give me back control to make smart decisions and not do something just because of a routine at all cost. <br />
<br /><b><u>Harmonious-passion</u> is a type of passion that allows us to fold into the fabric of our lives a healthy activity that brings us joy and makes our life better. We are still sad if we can't do what we love, but it is not the end of the world when we need to miss it for good reason. My streak has always been Harmonious for me. I loved that about it. </b><br />
<br /><b><u>Obsession-passion</u> is when we do something at all costs, no matter what the consequences to our health and our impact on others will be. </b>Stress is caused by the need to do something compulsively is not pleasurable. Missing one day becomes too emotionally painful. I am not obsessive about my streak. <b>I never have been and I won't start now.</b> </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><br />I don’t need a Streak to make me run. I love to run. I don’t need the Streak to make me a good runner, I know how to train smart. I don’t need a Streak to decompress my stress. If I miss a mile, I can meditate for 5-20 minutes and that works for me just as well. I don’t need to Streak Run everyday to feel strong, fit, and healthy. I have the gym and I have yoga and both give me the same benefits in a much more well-balanced way. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>I am grateful to have been a Streaker for almost 7 years. It changed me for the better in more ways than it ever harmed me. I don't need to start another one. I won't. I am tired of counting days. I learned all I needed to learn from Streaking during this 7-year journey. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">**** </span><br />
I want to sincerely thank all who inspired me to become a streak runner, <b>Mark Washburne, Freddie Murolo, Steve Tursi, Jim Merrit</b>, and especially <b>Jim Pearson</b>, who I never spoke to often but when I did he was such a nice man. Pearson's 50 Mile PR, at 5:12 was an American Record and the 3rd Fastest 50M in the world. From a distance, he taught me early on that streak running and record-setting performances are not mutually exclusive.<br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"> <br /><br />So...<br /><b>Today I choose harmony. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>Today I choose to bow out gracefully from my streak, it has been a fun ride. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Today I choose to heal. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b>Today I choose to be free. </b></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-89186368663431979282018-11-12T09:17:00.001-05:002018-11-12T14:00:54.063-05:00Don't Fall, Just Run 5k, Bridgewater, NJ. 11/10/18<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, what a journey. You can skip down to the section about Today's Race if you just want to read about that. But I use this as my journal so I want to share some thoughts about what happened first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have been running since I was 9 years old. Never have I had an injury that has lasted this long. In fact, I am still not even 100% sure what it is. After going to Physical Therapy until my insurance refused to continue to pay for sessions, I was diagnosed with a myriad of problems all working together to keep me from training and racing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Initially, it was clear I had severe bursitis. Once that started to resolve, I was left with such significant hamstring weakness (could not move even 5lbs of weight) that a tear of the lateral hamstring was diagnosed. Based upon my radiating pain (down to my ankle at times) and limited to my ROM as well, sciatic impingement was also diagnosed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Today it has been more than 6 months and I still feel pain when moving in just a few specific ways that really challenge the flexibility of my hamstring. I can't lift as much with my left as I can with my right still. I can do more than I could months ago. For there to be pain this long after an injury is baffling. It is also baffling that running slow and flat did ever and does not hurt or leave me in pain later. Sitting, Bending, Lifting, Stretching, or trying to up the pace my left leg was excruciating. Jogging was not a problem. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I did a lot of jogging over the last 6 months. I also did a lot of hiking and that seemed to help. I also joined a gym and started doing 2-hour full body strength training sessions 3 times per week where I included all the personalized exercises my PT assigned for me. I have relearned how much I LOVE the gym. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">****** </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>So What Happened?</b> I suspect Overuse from a marathon that was very hard on my body, and then one week later I raced a Master's Women's Team Championship 10k race before I was actually healed from the Marathon. I felt obligated to show up to run for my road racing team. and I felt obligated to run as fast as I could. I ran HARD that day and had a great result, but I left that race feeling worse than after the marathon. Any other race effort, I would have just slowed down if I felt something was wrong, but when racing for a team, I felt that I needed to power through. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Still, I did not actually realize how bad the inflammation and injury was. During the week I took training so easy and stuck to the flat bouncy treadmill. I felt the hamstring was much improved by that Friday and there was a local 5k I wanted to try to run that weekend, which ended up being the last race I ran before this one. I ran an 8M warm-up, felt a little stiffer than I would have liked to feel, but I was not in pain. I didn't even think about not racing. I just assumed I would run slow if something was too tight. BUT the race has a weird false-start, followed by too fast of a restart before runners were back behind the line. As I was walking backward to the get back behind the start, the started yells <i>"GO!"</i> and the rapid shift from stepping backward to then trying to push off forward with my left leg, was the final straw. Again, I did not recognize the severity of the problem until after the run when I stopped and then tried to start my cool down. I just couldn't run without pain by then. The damage was done. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So again what happened? <b>I broke a basic rule, week after week after week.</b>.. I failed to listen to my body and I ran when I was in actual pain but I just didn't recognize it as pain. I should have been more conservative. I know myself better. But I wanted to get myself back on track. I wanted to race hard in the Fall. I wanted to resume my training I tend to have trouble recognizing pain. I broke my arm when I was about 6 years old and went to gymnastics class for a full week (complaining only that it hurt to twist my arm it into my leotard) before we realized it was actually broken and I needed in a cast. I used to have 13 piercing (just ears) but all of those except the first two, I just pierced myself with a stud, no ice, whenever I felt like I wanted another piercing and it would feel just a little sore but not painful. Once, I had a needle biopsy on my thyroid without any Novacane. Five times in a row this doctor shoved a needle into my neck without a numbing agent and all I could do was ask him if he was trying to save some money. To which he told to me "Cut it out, it is a thin needle!" (He was correct. It was and it really didn't hurt). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So maybe what others would feel as pain I register as tightness? This is scary. This makes me not trust my own judgment. As a result, I have spent the last 6 months missing a part of my soul because I have been too afraid to push myself. I did a LOT of damage and I needed those months to ensure that when I did try to run fast again, I would not retear my hamstring and have to start healing all over again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This setback was hard. I dropped from 3 marathons. I was hoping to run a BQ at one of those races. For the first year of my life as a marathoner, I have not qualified for Boston. (I have mixed feelings about this. My brain needs a rest from the stress of Boston for me. I feel a sense of freedom now that I haven't felt since I raced the year of the bombings. A break from the race will be good for me.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">******</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Now for Today's Race: </u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I tried to restart my training in Spring 2019, I ran a "Check-In" 5k in 7:24 pace. That day back in March felt very hard and I felt sluggish. I expected the same feeling for this race, and because I am not actually back to 100%, I expected to be slower. <b>So f</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>or today’s race, I set a soft goal to just try to break 7:30, </b>but <b>My Job for this race was to find the fastest pace I felt was sustainable, just try to hold a "fast" pace for the entire way without hitting the wall or getting hurt. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Today I did my job and it felt wonderful at the end but I was very worried about racing from the start. </b><br /> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During my warm-up, I felt heavy, slow, and very concerned that this would a very very bad decision. I had a low sense of self-efficacy during those warm-up miles. I was afraid I would retear my hamstring. But training was going well lately and I have done some speed sessions at a fast pace. I knew I needed just to run something to regain a realistic perspective. My last race was hard on my body and soul. This race, if I do well, could reset my psyche.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>This race was very small. But I wasn't racing people. I was there to challenge myself. </b>I ran by myself the entire way, with 4 guys pulling ahead of me. I<b> started entirely too fast and by 0.1M I was running 5:00 pace!</b> I got swept away with the lead guy at first who ran a 16:39. It took me most of M1 to burn off that speed and get down to a pace I felt I could hold for 20 minutes. To be honest, when I glanced down and saw how fast I was moving, my self-efficacy skyrocketed! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">OMG, I CAN run! I can run FAST and my butt is OK! I got this... now slow the F' down!' </i><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">M1 - 6:44</b><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then we turned into the wind, ugh. About halfway into Mile 2, despite the wind, I continued to feel strong and my confidence builds. <i>"Ok, I can do this. I AM doing this!"</i> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A few spectators cheered us on and one confirmed that I was the First Female. This triggered me to think about placement. I wasn’t sure where the second place female was and I surely not going to look. Instead, I imagined she was chasing me and I ran as if there was someone right on my heels. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the middle of Mile 2, I start to realize I may actually win this race but immediately shook that thought away. <i>"Stop that! Who cares what place you are in? This is not competitive! </i><b style="font-style: italic;">Your job is </b><i>to manage your pacing today. </i><b style="font-style: italic;">Your job is </b><i>to not fade at the end. </i><b style="font-style: italic;">Your job is</b><i> to not get hurt. </i><b style="font-style: italic;">Your job is </b><i>to run the mile you are in and stay focused on the now. It is way too early to think about the finish. Save that type of thinking for later." </i>And I refocused on my pacing and effort. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">M2- 6:53 </b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(I am ok with this fade because the mile was into the wind. My effort was even and I don't feel like I was getting myself into a hole I could not get out of)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With just 1.1M left, we turn out of the headwind and this helps. I started to feel strong again. I was still running away from my imaginary competitor, running as fast as I could run, pushing myself to keep the pace and effort as even as I could. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>And then I found myself thinking about a few people who love me and believe in me and how I know they will understand why running this race this well is a big deal for me. </b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I thought about how many single leg squats I have done in the last month and how that has to mean something.<b> M3 - 6:48</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As we turned back INTO the wind for the last 0.1(3) miles, I tried to find a kick but I felt I was at my red line. I was not fading but I had no other gears. This was ok. Admittedly, I lost a little motivation to really dig deep and push hard once I saw where the 2nd place female runner really was. And since I had already achieved my goal (even pacing as fast as I could hold, ideally under 7:30 pace, without hurting myself) I did not want to actually force a kick that could re-injure my hamstring, glute, bursa, sciatica or whatever hurts me. <b>Last 0.13 in 6:43 pace</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I finished just as Lynyrd Skynyrd came on the loudspeaker. This made me smile. As an aside, today I wore a tech shirt with birds on it because one year ago today we were able to capture the beautiful stray parakeet who was flying into our yard for 7 months. Sadly, he was not well. He survived only 2 months longer (even with Board Certified Avian Vet care, a safe and healthy environment, and nutritious food :( ). The song felt special as if I could let a little of the grief I still carry with me at times go. I realize it may sound silly for a person to get so attached to a small stray parakeet, but I did and Skynyrd changed me for the better. Animals do that to people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Stats: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Final Time: 21:17 (6:49) </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>OA Place: 5th</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Gender Place 1st</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is a good start. My left side is still stiff, but it did not hold me back. I am starting to accept this as my new normal. But I do have an MRI scheduled to rule out any issues that might need more medical treatment in addition to the weeks of PT I already did to try to treat this problem.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-53964352944860790092018-06-09T07:33:00.003-04:002018-06-09T15:28:18.309-04:00Lakeview 5k, Edison, NJ. 6/2/18<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On Monday (Memorial Day), I had a wonderfully positive experience racing the Ridgewood 10k. I was faster than in 2016 (which is the training cycle I am using to model my Fall Training after this season). It felt wonderful to be “ahead of my pace bunny,” but in that race I could still feel the lingering soreness that manifested at the end of the Run for the Red Marathon. That pain in my butt had me walking it in the last 4 miles. <br />
<br />I was supposed to also race the 5k after the 10k at Ridgewood, but decided I did not like the tightness I felt high up in my hamstring where it met my butt. There was no reason to turn a great experience into a bad day so I skipped the 5k and returned home. <br />
<br />I have strained muscles before. I have some idea of what that feels like. This felt different. I took some recovery days, but noticed I was not really bothered when I walked or jogged. I could run eay and felt fine. Climbing bothered me when running but not when walking. I was in much greater discomfort when sitting or when I increased intensity when running. It seems like the entremes were out but if I stayed in the middle of the intensity continuum I was ok.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That discomfort when sitting was isolated only to a small area exactly where my sit-bone is. This area is the ischial tuberosity and it is where the hamstring attaches. This could be high hamstring tendonpathy or something else. After a few days of rest, by Thursday AM I was running 95% problem free. With each day that passed, I was feeling better. That is a pretty fast recovery for tendonpathy. I began to suspect something else. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-CazLX3u4KyH3NX-mBsQwPWhSNPnSjbDfqiy1nIwVO2nBssGDLziuAcUhz-bUzRiz3Gkb8bIynzGSw5lRRaTd3oO3vjxIZ5Rhd3doW6SOpbExolJ-iDwAAiN46GuKH0fsdCtoUPI39Pg/s1600/34308345_10215883390068217_2949353689975881728_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="593" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-CazLX3u4KyH3NX-mBsQwPWhSNPnSjbDfqiy1nIwVO2nBssGDLziuAcUhz-bUzRiz3Gkb8bIynzGSw5lRRaTd3oO3vjxIZ5Rhd3doW6SOpbExolJ-iDwAAiN46GuKH0fsdCtoUPI39Pg/s400/34308345_10215883390068217_2949353689975881728_n.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="246" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had this 5k planned and figured if I was tight or sore I would not need to “race” it. I could just slow to whatever pace was not bothersome. Alanna who was kind enough to come join me for pre-race milage and the race. 3.1M is simply not enough for me right now. <br />
<br />I ran 8.6M comfortably slow paced miles before the race. I was a little tight at the top of my hamstring but nothing hurt. It was hot and humid. I didn't expect to be fast. After a long warm up I felt like I could run 3.1M more. <br />
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<b>The Start. </b><br />The start was a little disorganized. There was a “Ready… Set”… and then nothing. Then people spontaneously starting to run. And then, after a few steps, everyone suddenly stopped and started to take steps backwards to the starting line. While taking backwards steps to the start, the starting gun then goes off and everyone starts running again. This was the moment I tweaked something. Unfortunately, this sudden back and forth change of direction and my gut reaction to GO! when I heard the gun caused me to press off very hard on the side of my body that was already tender as I was stepping backwards. The force to suddenly get moving forward while momentum was going backwards triggered a sharp pain on these initial step. I gave myself a few strides to feel it out. Due to the acute sting that settled down a bit quickly but not fully, the hill in mile 1, the humidity and heat, I simply had no power, felt less than 100%, and decided to not race.<br />
<br />Today was NOT the day to worry about time. I shut down my intensity, trying to find a place that felt comfortably fast but not problematic. That was as about 7:30-7:40 pace. <br />
<br />However, by the time I hit the last mile, my hamstring/glute was aggravated. In the last tenth of a mile, my stride was altered. I skipped the 2M cool down I planned, walking just a few mintues instead, because walking did not hurt. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikVpDFT9fLs_tkLiSl3EOlLP-uJfWOY7Fsp0edGpljeWO22TQeLn9Y_2YbYkG2pkFjG8MLbl6gI4ve3c0KLTcWgglIL_M0H5bImoE0_q5K_Zd1XmPyS-reGqWdVIq6kfBSyccWB-bbNKs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-06-09+at+3.21.48+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1030" data-original-width="948" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikVpDFT9fLs_tkLiSl3EOlLP-uJfWOY7Fsp0edGpljeWO22TQeLn9Y_2YbYkG2pkFjG8MLbl6gI4ve3c0KLTcWgglIL_M0H5bImoE0_q5K_Zd1XmPyS-reGqWdVIq6kfBSyccWB-bbNKs/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-06-09+at+3.21.48+PM.png" width="294" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The race was small and not incredibly competitive. I must say that Kathy Rocker was awesome and ran a wonderful smart race in tough conditions for the win. I was 3rd Female. Great work Kathy! 500 points! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I was about 3 minutes and 17 seconds slower than my pace bunny from 2016... Oops. ;) </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it is <b>back to the drawing board for me</b>. Time for more rest, more recovery, and to figure out when it will be time to see a PT about this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After doing some research to self-diagnose (like all panicked runners do), I have determined that I most likely have bursitis. I followed some recommendations about how to manage it and now 6 days later I am back running. I am not discomfort-free.There remains tightness that leads to discomfort if I try to push through it. I suspect this would become painful if I ran too fast (I am not sure. I haven't tried to test this). But slow paces are painless. I am back up to 8M without much trouble when running. I am still taking it easy and allowing recovery between longer runs. I am hopeful that soon I will be training and racing just fine again. </span><br />
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<br />Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-80152590027163185092018-06-01T19:30:00.003-04:002018-06-02T05:53:19.160-04:00Ridgewood 10k, Ridgewood NJ Monday, 5/28/18<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So it has been about a week since my fumble at Run for the Red (Poconos Marathon). </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I rested, recovered, and felt about 95% ready to go for my target pace of 7:20 +/- 10 seconds for this 6.2M. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Looking back over my logs from my best racing of my life, I ran this race at 7:10 pace before training on to eventually PR in everything I ran later in the Fall of 2016. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t need to best my PRs right now to feel like I have a chance at new PRs when racing and weather gets good months from now. I just want to be close to the same place I was in the last time I took this journey. I am comparing my past training volume and paces, nutrition, body composition and race performances along the way to determine whether or not I am on track to race well come Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec. Myself from 2016 is my pace bunny.<br />
<br />Being realistic, I aimed for 7:20 pace for this race because the last time I ran Run for the Red I was about 20 minutes faster. It didn’t feel smart to expect to be faster than 2016 myself at this race only one week later. <b>So using my past performance as my guide I set a realistic goal. I hoped if I ran smart I would beat that goal. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>At Run for the Red, I ran with wild abandon, knowing I was too fast too soon but ready, willing, and able to take my beating when it came</b>. <b>It hit hard around 21M. My ego was bruised. My hamstring too. </b><br />
<br />This 10k was a Masters Women’s USATF-NJ State Championship Team Race so I wanted to be a part of my team. We have some fast masters women and it feels good to be pulled along by some amazing people. They make me want to do better. <br />
<br />Unlike Run for the Red, which was a Check-In Race where mistakes were encouraged, this was a race that I planned to practice some skills. <b>Success was not measured by my finish time. I was measured by my execution of the pace plan. I wanted to practice negative splitting and self-restraint. </b>There is no value in blowing up at every race. <b>It is tremendously harder (from a discipline stand-point) to start slow than it is to start too fast, but it is better in the long run.</b> There is value is practicing how to feel the sensation of running "as fast as possible while retaining one more gear" (or two) for the last 1/4 of the race. <br />
<br /><b>Today the weather was a gift.</b> We had the best weather I have ever experienced at the Ridgewood Run. There would be a lot of PRs today! Not for me, but for those who were ready for one. I line up towards the front of the race, a few rows back, more rows back than I would if I was fit and fast. <br />
<br /><b>The starting gun is sounded and we are off. </b><br />
<br />I am careful to not get swept away with the crowd. <b>7:20 +/- 10 second from M1 is my goal.</b> <b>There is no excuse to not nail this. I have a computer on my wrist that tells me exactly what I am doing</b>. There is no need to be any faster than that target pace. I would love a 7:10. After Mile 1, I can forget the watch and feel for that sweet spot that is just fast enough but no so fast that I can’t get faster. When racing smart, I always want to know I have more speed in my legs for the end. <b>M1- 7:09 (perfect!)<br />
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</b>Mile 2 has a little descent so I find my flow and start concentrating on my body, my legs, my breathing, and my effort. I want to appear to be working less hard than those around me not harder. <b>I focus on myself, but notice how hard others around me seem to be working too. I try to gather information internallly and externally. </b> </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have no intention to race anyone in M2. I am ignoring the watch because <b>I know my best running happens by listening to my body, not by watching the clock</b>. I am in a comfortable place, in my own head, cruising along, knowing I can work harder later. I am not sandbagging, but rather riding what <b>feels like just a few seconds slower than my red-line effort</b>. My breathing is controlled and I am trying to run as smoothly as I can. <b>M2- 6:50<br />
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</b>I don’t look at my splits until the end of the race until after I finish. I can tell if I am running faster along the way just by how hard I am working. <b>I think about the mile I am in and assess if I am feeling like I am running smart. Today the answer is "<i>Yes. Yes I am</i>.”</b> </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I start to notice people around me fading. I am starting to pass many who flew past me in M1 and M2. I am working hard. I am careful to not work so hard that can’t shift gears. I adjust my pace as needed to stay in that sweet spot. I am ok with slowing a little to retain my gears. <b><i>I remind myself that my best race will be determined by what I do in M5 and M6 not what happened in M3 and M4. </i></b></span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I find my zone and I settle in for the ride. I have more to give, but now is not the time</b>. <b>M3 - 7:02</b></span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /><i> I am hitting a flow state. Oh, how I miss this feeling</i></b><i>. </i>I can "hear" music start to play in my head. I am lost in the song. I am overtaking more runners than those who are passing me. <b><i>I am moving in slow motion and everything else is a blur. </i></b>Nothing else matters. I am working exactly as hard as I am capable of sustaining. <b>Running feels like work. It is not easy. But nothing hurts. I am not worried that I can’t hold on</b>. <b><i>I know I can.</i> M4 - 7:03. <br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I learned a while ago when racing a 24 hour race to think about the lap I am in by saying “Working lap [and naming the number]” rather than naming the lap I just started which then confuses me as I wondering if I had just completed that number. I still do that now when I race. It keeps my mind on the mile I am in. I think to myself “<i>Working M5. Get ready to move at the M5 Mark.</i>” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>In this mile, I allow myself to shift my focus from internal, task-focused pacing to external, ego- (or competition-) focused racing. </b></i>This is when start to open the gates that I have put up to hold back my ego-focused side while I focused on my task.<b> </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>[Ego is not a bad word. Ego-focused just means Outcome focused. It is that part of you that is preoccupied with the overall results like finish time or placement. Task-focused is the part of you that is focused on smaller bite-sized tasks a long the way].</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>My task was to run hard but not too hard and to make sure no matter what I did, I had another gear. </b> The ego is the part that cares more about beating competitors and doesn’t care about the task. <b>I race best when I am task-focused for 3/4 of the race and 1/4 of the race I let my ego pull me to the finish</b>. It is a race, after all, and the point of racing is to try to beat competition. That is all ego-focused stuff. If I let my ego-focused side take over from the gun, I can expect a crash and burn beginning to happen by the half way point. Discipline for me is to hold back my ego-focused runner-self until I know that once I let her loose she can do nothing to destroy my result, but only make it better. There wont be enough time for crash and burn if I wait long enough to shift gears. <b>M5: 6:57<br />
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</b>I am side-by-side with <b>Karl</b>. <b>Karl has been part of my “pack” for a while.</b> We both get faster and slower and sometimes don’t run together but over the years Karl and I have raced many miles side-by-side. <b> Runners who race a lot know who their pack is</b>. Sometimes they are collaborators and work together. Sometimes they are "freinemies." In racing, you get to work with your pack, but by the end it turns into a race and you are happy for whoever wins the day. You push each other to better times than you can alone in those last final miles when the race is ON. It is never certain who will take the lead over the finish line. <br />
<br />Karl and I greet each other in M5. I say something about how it is time to do work. M6 is a fast mile. Karl asks “<i><b>Where’s Ben?</b></i>” [I love this]. First I say (not getting it at first), “<i><b>Well, he is on the side-line cheering and I think he is racing the 5k…(then I get it)... but right now, Ben is right there (and I point to the ground a few steps ahead of us)… Ben is one step ahead pulling the pace home.</b></i>” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Karl, Ben, and I were a pack. The three of us ran many races side-by-side just like Karl and I are today. But Ben was injured when he was hit by a car while he was riding his bike and literally broke his back. His comeback has been miraculous. But he wasn’t racing the 10k today… in person. <b>But</b> <b>he was there with Karl and me. </b> <br />
<br />Karl and I do not like to let Ben win ;) so we kick it up hard, as hard as I could at the time. We picked up <b>Laura,</b> my teammate. Laura rises to the challenge and doesn’t miss a beat as Karl and I are flying. She joins us. <b>Now we are three and we are hauling</b>. <b>M6 - 6:33<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRG5z6YxGsUzKa_OGovMg7f-PfabAAl1CcFRm3iEmDZAwEmqRkMCc7FLU_txv0xb2iRX8vCnBIxnhPWwkl9Aw6Jz7X5ObGl4MdPt4Vwou60yfwr3KVirwnrxPSZ0-m6EjfJsF1w8OEklw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-06-01+at+7.44.47+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="428" data-original-width="878" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRG5z6YxGsUzKa_OGovMg7f-PfabAAl1CcFRm3iEmDZAwEmqRkMCc7FLU_txv0xb2iRX8vCnBIxnhPWwkl9Aw6Jz7X5ObGl4MdPt4Vwou60yfwr3KVirwnrxPSZ0-m6EjfJsF1w8OEklw/s640/Screen+Shot+2018-06-01+at+7.44.47+PM.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Laura flying. Photo by <span style="font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif;"><span style="cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;">Blanca Alvarez Blaskovic</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;"> </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My breathing is crazy. My body is working harder than it has worked in a long long time. I am giving 110%. <b>Karl pulls away.</b> I can’t match him but I give everything I have to give. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Laura is on my side. We are not giving up. We are in a race. There is no "let's finish together holding hands" :) or letting the other one have the win out of friendship. </b>No. This is a race and we are racing. We will be friends after. ;) It doesn’t matter who wins because we are on the same team. We push each other to a <b>6:06 paced last .2M and it feels amazing! </b>I finish a half step ahead but Laura started behind me so she gets the win today! <b> </b></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAR0_6vMm001B9I2p3WsXGUZzvw6MHCjFDa_0e388ymQdNqtNzYvK8jqLToi8cjl-fYvN8SHwCPziA66vPxBWg_R-fQk1nih1zAOmooXI_AYvtO_IwF1jD6R2nMAAnW977ZsbsJBeHeSo/s1600/10647-ZF-4970-93165-1-001-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1064" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAR0_6vMm001B9I2p3WsXGUZzvw6MHCjFDa_0e388ymQdNqtNzYvK8jqLToi8cjl-fYvN8SHwCPziA66vPxBWg_R-fQk1nih1zAOmooXI_AYvtO_IwF1jD6R2nMAAnW977ZsbsJBeHeSo/s640/10647-ZF-4970-93165-1-001-001.jpg" width="424" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Laura turns to me and says (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">as I am hunched over dry heaving</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) that she just set a new 10k PR! </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> </b><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Karl turns back after he finishes to say “I just set a new Age Group Personal Best because of that last mile. That wasn’t just me out there. That wasn’t just you… it was Us… and Ben.” </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Karl is my pack. Ben too. And now Laura. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stats:</span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">42:49 (6:53 pace). Negative Split!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">24th Female OA</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8th in Age Group (40-44)</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My final mile was the fastest mile I have run in half a year. I followed my plan completely and beat my goal by over 15 seconds per mile. I am now ahead of my “pace bunny” <3 <br />
<br />What a fantastic day! </span></span></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-87147699723198533532018-05-27T07:18:00.004-04:002018-05-27T11:33:52.878-04:00Run for the Red, Pocono Summit, PA, 5/20/18<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghn3dgJmozM-UnC1CU1TVW2PcMEY7X9X8OydUvzyFpc3x0WFbwWo4V5hIU1tWPVGqFLnl-Ks9MB97DShnCDaH1-VK4U4DI0nJ4uuBm8xlTWpSfjeG3wdCip8iiOydXsy8sfNCB6KhXVtw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-05-27+at+7.01.27+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="832" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghn3dgJmozM-UnC1CU1TVW2PcMEY7X9X8OydUvzyFpc3x0WFbwWo4V5hIU1tWPVGqFLnl-Ks9MB97DShnCDaH1-VK4U4DI0nJ4uuBm8xlTWpSfjeG3wdCip8iiOydXsy8sfNCB6KhXVtw/s400/Screen+Shot+2018-05-27+at+7.01.27+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Run for the Red - Check-In Race <br /> <br />Early in the start of training, I like to race something hard to check in with myself to see how much work I have to do. Run for the Red was that race for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Despite knowing that I have not actually properly prepared to race a fast marathon, I still felt a little pressure to perform. This is funny because if I don't do the work, I should not expect to see results, but running is funny like that. We still often try anyway. Maybe we hope our hearts can carry us through despite not preparing. I know it is foolish for me to think this way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was entirely too focused on the outcome goal of this race and not really mindful of what was realistic for me along the way. However, I have to admit, I really needed to just not care and to see what I could do if I pushed myself. I did not truly expect great results, but I was not going to assume I would fail either. I just wanted the race to unfold for me naturally. This also was not a Goal Race and I could take risks because failure would be ok.<br /> <br />The week leading up to this race was a fantastic week for me in terms of training, nutrition, sleep, etc. The problem is I was actually training hard, getting leaner, and as a result feeling beat up. Changing body composition is stressful on the body. If I really wanted a good shot at a good run, I should have been resting. But resting from what? From a 5 hour Strolling Jim where I mostly strolled along? From NOT running any long runs over 12M at a hard effort? From lower (for me) weekly mileage? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />I have plans to aim high for the Fall and Fall is not that far away. I don’t want to start training by tapering from nothing so I made a decision to train right through Run for the Red and to consider it a hard long run, not a "race".<br /> <br />To get myself in a positive frame of mind, starting on Friday, I simply started focusing my attention on every detail I could find that suggested I had a chance to run strong. I ignored all the reasons I should not. For example, based upon my last race (a 15k), I had the potential for a 3:31 (if I had actually done some long runs at something even close to training paces that would support a 3:31, but I did not. I was resting and this is the start of my training so I knew I was going to struggle). I was also lighter and leaner than when I raced that 15K so maybe I still had a short. Even though Strolling Jim was a slower race for me, it was not easy so I know I was fitter for having done it. I think I had a chance to run a marathon within my goal window. Not a good chance, but a chance nonetheless.<br /> <br />The last time I ran Run for the Red in 2016, I was not very well-trained either (but better trained than this year) and I did run a 3:33 so I knew the fast course could pull me along, especially if the weather cooperated. In 2016, the weather was bizarre, but perfect for fast running.<br /> <br />I need a 3:40 to BQ and since I have not raced many marathons seriously in about 18 months, I definitely need a BQ if I want to return to Boston. I do know that June, July, and August are not the months that I am most likely get that BQ, due to the stifling heat and humidity and also because that is when I am in the middle of marathon training (building up my fast finish long runs from 14-24 miles or using 50k and marathons as long even effort time on my feet fun runs). I rarely race marathons for time in the summer. So if I wanted to snag a BQ to, at least, get my foot in the door, Run for the Red was where to do it. <br /> <br /><b>Accordingly, my Goal Window was 3:31-3:40 or blow up trying</b>. <br /> <br />So the weather… ah, the first really humid race of the year. This is not ideal. But I try to disregard this as it doesn’t matter. I have to go for my window regardless of conditions. The clock doesn’t care what the humidity is. <br /> <br />I start off trying to find a comfortably-hard pace. I sense I am running slightly too fast, but again I have not run anything far and fast in such a long time that I expected the pace to feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I keep checking in with myself to try to determine if I think I can hold this the entire way and the answer really is <b><i>“No. No you cannot.”</i></b> So I made a choice to see how long I could hold it. If I do fade in the hills at the end, I may still end up in my 3:31-3:40 window. If I can't, I can accept that too.<br /> <br /><b>Part of the point of my Check-In race for me is to allow me a “throw away” race that I am free to go out and mess up royally.</b> I need to do everything wrong once in a while, especially early in training, just because it helps remind me about how important it is to do things right. <b>It also shows me that doing everything wrong never turns out as bad as it seems like it should.</b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If I could train well, get lean and strong, taper, carb-load (yes, I do this and it works for me), and stick to a realistic pace plan that is <b>task-focused</b> and not outcome-focused… then I know I can negative split and have a great run. But I am not there yet. However, I wanted to know what I could now, today, untrained, undiscplined, and tired. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Run for the Red was awesome and demoralizing at the same time. </b><br /> <br />I managed to stay either just ahead of or just behind the 3:30 pace group through 19M. I really did not feel as terrible as I thought I would at that pace, but the humidity and warmth of the day were catching up with me. My body simply was not prepared to handle the intensity. <br /> <br /><b>At about mile 20-21 I started to get a tremendous migraine</b>. I am sure it was from dehydration and working too hard. The top of my head felt like someone hit me with a bat. <b>I was consuming calories and fluids along the way but race day nutrition is never going to make up for lack of preparation.</b> I knew the crash and burn was coming. I wasn’t sure how bad it would be. The 3:30 pace group drifted off as I slowed down to try to get a grip. <br /> <br />At the next aid station, I stopped running for the first time and grabbed three cups of fluid and walked a few strides to just drink. I was so dizzy and nauseated that I was a little concerned. Once I started running again, I knew I had nothing left. <br /> <br /><b>With 4 miles to go, the death march started. I was done. I had enough for the day</b>. <b>My body, my mind, both had completely checked out.</b> <b>The idea of running or run/walking, or just walking in 4 more miles was soul-crushing</b>. I was overheating and my butt was whooped. But truly I did not expect anything less. I am actually surprised I got as far as I did!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>My biggest concern was my left hamstring/glute. Everything was so tight that I feared straining my hamstring if I pushed through. I knew I had already done some damage and since this is the start of training I cannot afford to take 2-3 weeks of rest to heal. My gait was altered and there was mild pain. So I walked. </b><br /> <br /><b>Kim</b> comes flying past me, yelling something about how I need to go with her now because she is still on pace for the 3:40 and we could do it. And I laughed and I laughed. As if I had a choice. Kim did well in training. Probably not as well as she wanted to prep (but who ever feels their prep is perfect), but she got her butt out there for 20+M fast finish long runs on hot days by herself when it mattered the most. That is how to do work! She rested, tapered, and stuck to her plan. She kicked ass! I waved good-bye as she drifted off in to the distance wondering how the heck I was going to make it another 5k! <br /> <br />I took my time on the way in and ran when I felt I could and walked most of what was left. I didn’t care if it took me another hour to get done. I did not need to pull a hamstring for no reason at all. Not now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But ultimately it wasn’t that bad.<b> I ended up with a 3:53 after running the first 20M at 3:30 pace. And this makes me happy.</b> I have taken a lot of time away from marathon training. Marathon training, for me, is the hardest training I can do. I have not run anything under 4 hours for the marathon in a long time. In fact, I have run a mostly 5 hour marathons just taking my time and enjoying the trails, mountains, and company. <br /> <br /><b>My heart is so happy I was able to gut out a hard 20M LR… too bad the race was 26.2M.</b> :) I am not sad that I did not or could not run a faster time. I did not deserve to. I did not train. <b>I do wish I was in better shape that I am in right now, but when looking back, I know I am exactly where I should be. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I needed a lot of rest after training so hard in 2016. I am 42 and the work I did at 40 years old was hard on me. I needed to rest my body and soul. <b>The sacrifice, commitment, and intense focus on training that it takes for me to run that hard does detract from my overall quality of life in other aspects.</b> I can’t live life that way year-after-year and expect to feel balanced and happy. <b>Being the fastest marathon runner I can be is not "everything" to me. I am so much more than just a runner.</b> However,<b> I can give myself 18-20 weeks to try to be my best athlete-self again. And if/when I get the results I seek, I am certain that joy will fill my soul for a long long time. </b><br /> <br />So Run for the Red was my reality check. I truly feel like I got more than I deserved to get out this race. I am ready to see what I can do from here.</span></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-47542728254636447222018-05-05T20:13:00.003-04:002018-05-05T20:25:45.117-04:00Strolling Jim, The "Marathon", 5/5/18<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFIawv_ZMykmbZOIcb188HNho3XbPuqHR4kkmeZlzNJBUD_ZdgOX4pFzAWbdw5T4M3n4ljcxwAbAh3KKRgkfYOvNpdMIeJx7LdstLW4WDYTWmxMz7ZbuuPLERfmlUKryDSqcUApJG6jpo/s1600/image1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1136" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFIawv_ZMykmbZOIcb188HNho3XbPuqHR4kkmeZlzNJBUD_ZdgOX4pFzAWbdw5T4M3n4ljcxwAbAh3KKRgkfYOvNpdMIeJx7LdstLW4WDYTWmxMz7ZbuuPLERfmlUKryDSqcUApJG6jpo/s400/image1.jpeg" width="400" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Four years ago I raced the 40M (41.2M) and had a fantastic day. I just ran my heart out, powering through the hills until I hit the wall hard and suffered in the heat at the 50K and ran/walked my in to a 6:35. This was a time I was proud of, despite some sloppy execution. <br />
<br />Today I wondered if it might take me 6:35 to run the marathon distance. I was initially registered for the 40M, but last week I took a real hard look at myself and knew I was not prepared for 40M. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When in shape, the 40M is my favorite distance. It is my best event, that and the 6 hour, which I can cover 40-43+ miles in that time. I want to protect my love for that distance and not destroy my positive experiences by doing something I am woefully under-prepared to do and feeling miserable. I am also still rebuilding my endurance and fitness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I always run. I can always "cover" a marathon on foot, maybe not by running every single step but I can get through it. Marathon training is the hardest thing I can do and when done well, I can fly. But right now I am still in my base-building-just-show-up-and-pin-on-a-bib phase of training. I enjoy getting my long runs done at races where I can actually relax and be social when I feel like it ... or I can practice race day skills without some important performance goal on the line. <br />
<br />I took nothing seriously about today's, well except that carloading. I carb-loaded like a champ! That was fun. ;) <br />
<br />The race weather was predicted to be rainy the entire day. I rhetorically asked Alanna if maybe I could just run one marathon soon NOT wearing a poncho ;) <br />
<br />But race day morning turned out to be lovely. It was much more humid that I am used to but the 60 degrees felt so nice. I wore more than I would have preferred mostly because my skin is not ready to handle long runs in rain and humidity and not get chafed raw. I ended up in bike shorts and a tank top to save my skin.his worked. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I really do not love racing in a vest. I feel like I am too heavy with a vest on and often the vest makes my back hurt. But the rental car keys were GIGANTIC and two of these monster-sized key fobs were tethered together making it impossible to put them in my small zip pocket. I also decided to carry a bottle since aid stations at this race tend to be gallons of water left under a tree every few miles, with some random real aid station dropped in along the way. It can be a long way between drinks.<br />
<br />So once weighted down, I knew I wasn’t going for time today. I just wanted the climbing and the long time on my feet. This marathon delivered on all accounts.<br />
<br />Early in the race, I ran next to a guy who looked a little flustered. He explained, worried really, that he was diabetic and his monitor was reading very low. He was trying to eat something but he was concerned. I asked if he had enough calories on him and he said “probably not enough. I thought I was good, but this is low so I have to eat now” We were at maybe mile 4? He was running 40.<br />
<br />I had two gels on me and gave them to him. He wouldn’t take them but I did insist. I was “only” running the marathon and I could grab soda or something with sugar from the aid stations. I told him I had set a carb-load PR yesterday so I really don’t need them. I insisted that he take them.<br />
<br />We passed the first aid station and with only a quick glance, I did not see any fast sweet things. Water and SWORD… what the heck is that and where was the coca cola or potatoes or anything I could eat. Oh well. I was ok, and not running fast, so I proceeded on my way. There were slim jims and pork rinds. Pork Rinds. I know I didn’t race ultras last year but are pork rinds at aid stations at thing now?<br />
<br />Oh well, I don’t remember eating much during the Boston Sharknado Marathon so I felt like I would be ok. I would have liked some sports drink. My pace was a blazing 10:30 pace so I felt I could sustain that on water and something palatable from an aid station along the way. <br />
<br />By mile 18 I was still feeling good and with only 8.6 to go (b/c this is Strolling Jim so nothing is what is supposed to be, which is ok with me). The hills crush my soul. Adding few extra tenths is nothing to fret over. At 18+ we hit a downhill and I wondered if I could push my pace to the finish. So I tried. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />I make it to 20.5M and I hit the wall. Slam right into it. My legs power down like a transformer blew. I have no energy. None. Nothing hurts, but I just can’t “go.” The humidity was high but I have been in worse and the cooler air helped mitigate that. I just ran out of glycogen and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had grabbed a few things from the last aid station but didn't eat because I really just wanted to see how far I could go on water only. I like to do tests like this. The sudden crash was clearly due to under-fueling. <br />
<br /> So at 21M I decided to eat the Nature Valley granola protein nut bar because it had a little of everything (carbs, fat, and protein). I walked a lot while trying to wait to see if it helps. As I walk it my legs are made of lead. I have no motivation to power through. I have 5.6M to go and they are feeling like a million miles. I am alone, so alone on the course I start to wonder if I am off course. But keep walking and running and walking.<br />
<br />By M22 I feel about 50% better which is good but not great. At this point I decide that I have done my job for today. I got a good long run in and depleted my glycogen down to 0, nothing hurts, and I feel like I made the smartest choice I could have made when I asked to drop down to the marathon from the 40. There was absolutely no way I was running 19.2 more miles like this. <br />
<br />The drizzle that started at the end is refreshing. I finally find my way into meditative practice. I feel a complete sense of acceptance of my pace and with myself as I approach the end. I wonder if I will break 5 hours and then wonder why a number matters at all. What matters most is that I push my body further and harder than I have in many many many months, even if on paper the numbers seem “slow” to others. What others think doesn’t really matter. I am at peace. I am pleased with myself and my work. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I turn the last corner and see the finish and the clock is ticking down 4:5x…. I cross in 4:54. I feel so grateful to have been able to do what I just did today. Someday I will not be able to run hilly marathons. Someday I will not be run flat marathons. Someday I will not be able to hike or walk marathons. Today is not that day. Today I did my job and it felt realy good to be present and to do work. <br />
<br />I sat under the tent eating a gigantic grilled chicken thigh when the sky opened up and thunder cracked… and my heart broke a little for Alanna, who was and still is out there on the course tacking the 41.2M distance as I type this race report. I am very proud of her. I know it stinks to run in a deluge. I did give her one of my ponchos. I bought them in bulk. :)<br />
<br />If I hurry now, I may be able to get back to the race to pick her up. I think I will be a good friend and bring her a warm tea as her prize for persevering thought this rough patches. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maybe if I am lucky I might get a poncho photo for this report. :) </span></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-9039312400052284012018-05-04T22:09:00.000-04:002018-05-04T22:09:01.070-04:00Clinton Country Run 15k, Clinton NJ, 4/28/18<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgVGnTdCGn1mCKqUyEH7HlRQOc-NWiuqKrwNlyQn7A0Hz1hyphenhyphenUx5mow0FnOXNwGmpUsT1S8LZ155BjgFTF5eGJoSxI1sDcN4DYhuzCOyBm56_4tSI1dsOjHU3iGiP6mxOqXB3KRHCozM8/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-05-04+at+8.56.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1032" data-original-width="1306" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgVGnTdCGn1mCKqUyEH7HlRQOc-NWiuqKrwNlyQn7A0Hz1hyphenhyphenUx5mow0FnOXNwGmpUsT1S8LZ155BjgFTF5eGJoSxI1sDcN4DYhuzCOyBm56_4tSI1dsOjHU3iGiP6mxOqXB3KRHCozM8/s400/Screen+Shot+2018-05-04+at+8.56.53+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(29, 33, 41); color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;">Photo by </span><a data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1449120452&extragetparams=%7B%22directed_target_id%22%3Anull%2C%22groups_location%22%3Anull%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/karl.leitz.9" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Karl Leitz</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(29, 33, 41); color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;">. Clinton Country Run. 15K</span></td></tr>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So last week’s half did not go as planned. The week before was Boston which was also pretty rough (understatement of the year ;) ). The week prior to that I ran a hilly 8:24 paced 20k. Today was a 15k on a course with some rolling hills. <b>Based upon my real life recent performances, I set a goal for 8:15 (+/- 10 sec) for myself.</b> However that was an estimated prediction, but not what I actually planned to aim for mile by mile. <br />
<br />Instead, <b>I wanted to practice two important skills today at this race.</b> First, I wanted to pay attention to my pre-race routine and sharpen up what I do before every race so that I can setting myself up for success. Next I wanted to use the mindfulness meditation practice I have been working on daily in a race setting. I wasn’t going monitor my pace. Instead I was going run by feel, with <b>my job </b>being to negative split this race. I wanted to be mindful about my pacing, focus on how I felt it the moment and ask myself whether I had another gear for the final 4 miles, where all the hills are. <b>I did not want race people.</b> <b>I did not want to race the clock. I wanted to race as fast as I could race without getting ahead of my own ability too early. </b><br />
<br /><b> I met Kim early and we ran 6M of warm up.</b> I was trying to pay attention to timing to see how long I really need to do all the things I know I should do before I race. I am tired of scrambling around at the start of races, missing my change to get my body warmed up and my mind prepared to tackle the work I will do. If I know exactly how much time I need and exactly what my pre-race routine will be, I will have a greater ability to do what I need when it becomes much more important to me to have my pre-race warm up routine sharp. </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So first we ran a long warm up. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We ran the course backwards in part, paying attention to the terrain, becoming aware of where the last mile began.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Then we did dynamic stretching. We changed shoes and did some pick ups rather than strides. 20 steps slow 20 steps fast. We talked about music that we could include next time.</b> <b>I still know I need to work on my pre-race game more. I need to protec that time from unnecessary distractions on those days I plan to do my best. For now I am learning. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>[For the first time since I started racing, I finally had no shin pain! This is fantastic. I had spent time cleaning up nutrition, sleeping better, and training better. I could feel the impact of healthy decisions. I watch my heart rate drop over the week as my body and mind felt better!]</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Mile 1 was a fast downhill mile and the volunteer called out 7:20, 7:21, 7:22… as I passed. Now I know the course would roll little and that 7:20 was merely the result of the descent that we would climb at the end. </b><br />
<br />I settled down and did not pay attention to the watch. Runners flew past me and I passed a few but <b>the most important tasks I had to do were only two things: (1) Negative split, and (2) Focus on the Mile I was in… Time did not matter, place did not matter, racing others did not matter. Not today. </b><br />
<br />I spent the first 4 miles really focused on how I felt in the moment. <b>The rest of the world around me felt like a blur.</b> Nothing outside was touching me and I felt content. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At mile 4 a woman runs right between me and another runner who was wearing gigantic head phones and she exuberantly exclaims! “<i><b>So what’s the plan today!</b></i>” </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now this was not what I expected. I was in my flow, doing my job, being mindful about how I felt and what I was doing and then suddenly there was this very sudden and somewhat abrasive intrusion into my headspace. <br />
<br />I contemplated what to do. I did nothing at first. I did not want to disrupt my peaceful exisitance in my race. <b>This is going to be an interesting challenge, to practice mindfulness while racing with people who have no idea what I am doing, who just want to be social. If I really want to practice this skill, I am going to need to figure out how to not get distracted while also appearing rude to friendly people. I am not sure how to reconcile this yet. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I think that just maybe if I say nothing the other runners on her left would engage her. But I am no longer doing one of my two jobs. I am not focused on running the mile I am in. I am fully distracted by others. This is interesting from a mindfulness perspective. I don't intend to be mindful at all costs, but I do want to first see if she will use someone else as her diversion. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I glanced over and saw the giant headphones and knew there was no chance of that happening. She had a buffer. This was a USATF-NJ championship race. Headphones are illegal. They are considered to be an aid. I can see how they really can help. <br />
<br />The woman then says <i>“<b>So what you are trying to do today! Maybe we can help each other out today!” </b> </i>Normally, friendly supportive conversation is nice, but often this happens when two people want to chat. It was clear she didn't care if I was interested in chatting or not.<br />
<br />I wanted so badly to say, “I see you want to work together but I don’t actually need help right now.”… but that really wasn’t necessary to say that. <b> I did have some empathy, recognizing a sense of insecurity she must have been feeling about her ability. I remember how that was me when I first started running and racing. I remember wanted to run with people because I thought maybe I could do better feeding off someone else energy, not really trusting that I had what I needed inside myself.</b> I felt that my best on my own wasn’t the best I could do but maybe I could latch on to someone else’s pace and their energy will pull me. Or maybe their presence will ignite some competitive edge in me that I would discover was relentless.<b> Somehow I felt I needed help. I just don't feel that way any more. I feel like that only person who can help me is me. </b><br />
<br />But in 2016, when I learned how to listen to my body and master my own pacing, I found out that I can negative split everything I do if I am open and accepting of my ability and I set goals that match my strengths. When I run my own race there is no better outcome. <b>My best races are not a result of anyone else doing anything. They are all me. </b><br />
<br />So again she says, “<b><i>Do you have a plan?</i>”</b> <br />
<br />While focused with my attention straight ahead, I think about my plan to just run the mile I am in... I say “Just Run”. <br />
<br />Now what I meant to say was ‘My plan is to just run… to focus on the moment I am in and just run” But as I said "<i>Just Run</i>" it came out sounding more like a command... I am sure that I actually meant it both ways. I really did want my space back. I was in my flow and here was someone who doesn’t yet know how to run on her own race trying to make me join her to help her.<b> I wasn’t interested in being someone else’s diversion. </b></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wan’t interested in being her reluctant pacer.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes it is really fun to be the distraction that helps others shine, but I do think it is better to help people figure out that they are enough. </b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I wasn't coaching her. I wasn't coaching anyone. I was there as an athlete. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just wanted to focus on my skills. I immediately tempered what sounded too harsh with more of what she needed to hear. I added quickly, “</span><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My plan is to Just Run. I want to just run and not feel badly. I want to not work too hard too soon and I want to run faster as I go along and feel good as I do it.</i><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">” That was enough for her. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I went back into my zone. <br />
<br />She sat on my shoulder for at least a half mile, but we had not even hit the hills yet. I was waiting for the hills. I wanted to have the strength to push and I knew that I could. I had done good work in the first half of the race.<br />
<br />As soon as the hills started, I pulled away. I was able to push my pace faster as we rolled and I was going my job. I could hear the music starting in my head. When I race well there is always music. <br />
<br />I was digging and pushing and then we hit M8-9, with the super steep ending. I was pushing, but I felt a part of me contemplating reducing the pace. I did not feel bad about this. I feel like I am learning. I am finding my line and recognizing just where my body and mind are at this time. I need to do a lot more work.<br />
<br />But even with a hard final mile, I managed to negative split the race. My last mile was not my fastest mile but it was still a good one. I did my jobs today!<br />
<br /><b>When I looked at my final time, I was in shock. I had felt 8:15 pace was realistic but I managed a 7:41 pace overall instead. I can’t even begin to explain how thrilled I am with this run!</b> <br />
<br />I ran 3M miles to c/d with Kim. I went home with 18M run, feeling like I am moving in the right direction.</span> </span></div>
Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-40241527164417503592018-05-04T21:21:00.004-04:002018-05-04T21:27:51.453-04:00Blue Ridge Marathon and Half Marathon, Roanoke, VA, 4/21/18<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I can’t say enough about how much I loved this experience, even with some struggles that should have simply ruined my day. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The week leading up to this race in Roanoke VA was a tough work week for me. I missed a full day of work because I was at the Boston Marathon on Monday. I would miss two more work days (most of Friday for travel, and Saturday for racing and traveling back). As a primarily self-employed person, there are no days off, no personal time, no one to cover the work. As a graduate student the same rules apply. I found myself challenged to do the same amount of work in 3.5 days that I would normally need 6 days to complete. This was not going to be easy! </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <br />I have been protecting my sleep lately as I find that everything else goes better for me when I am well rested. My teaching job concluded so I have more time back to train, race and sleep! However, there really wasn’t much I could do this week to make sure I got my 8 hours each night. I just needed to steal from sleep time this week to get myself to the start. <br />
<br />On paper, <b>the trip should have been 6:45 of driving. In real life it was 8+ hours. I can’t even begin to share how much I really missed long road trips by myself. </b>I registered for audible and used my credits to get two wonderful audiobooks. My journey to Roanoke Virginia was filled with stories about how smart birds are ("<b>The Genius of Birds"</b>). Just as I neared my destination, I reached the end of the book where the author shared some stories about the birds of the Blue Ridge Mountain. That was just perfect!<br />
<br />Normally, I try to arrive earlier enough the night before a race to have dinner 12 hours or more before the gun time. Gun time was 7:35 am. I arrived at 9:00 am. My dinner consisted of gas station snacks on the drive down, which included a gigantic chocolate chip cookie and some terrible coffee. Thank goodness I wasn’t actually racing seriously or I would have been a little concerned. <b>Unbeknownst to me I would have welcomed an upset tummy over what I had to deal with race day morning. </b> <br />I check into my hotel, organized my race day gear, asked for a 5 am wake up call and begane to unwind for the night. I had just run Boston in 4:19 and expected tomorrow’s marathon to take me at least 5 hours or more to get through it. <b>The elevation is tremendous and I was very much looking forward to the climbs! Nothing get me in shape faster than climbing! </b><br />
<br />I was up before my alarm and took 5 minutes only to practice mediation while my coffee brewed. So far nothing was wrong. But <b>once I attempted to contort myself in to my sports bra, I managed to strain something so badly in my back that I was afraid I slipped a disc! </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Currently, I am not fit, I am still too heavy for my best racing, and I do a lot of sitting. My back hurts often when I am not on top of my game. Once I gain a few pounds and stop doing my regular strength training, I quickly end up not even fit enough to handle basic activities of daily living, like putting on a sports bra! Unless I am training, my life is atrociously sedentary. <br />
<br />I couldn’t stand up without pain and decided to lay on the disgusting hotel floor hoping that if I stayed really still and really flat my spine would stop acting out and get back on track. But once down on the groun, I discovered I could not actually get back up. Any twisting motion was painful. If I turned to put my weight one one hand to push up from the ground, the pain was debilitating only because I refused to test the limited. I could have powered through but I was afraid I would make things worse. I laid on the floor for 20 minutes wondering if I would end up being discovered by housekeeping. I wondered how I would get home. I had an 6:45-8 hour drive back to NJ after the race.<br />
<br />Time was ticking and I was already 15 minutes later than I wanted to leave for the start. After 20 minutes on the ground I could feel my back muscles loosening up a little. <b>There was some hope! </b><br />
<br /><b>I was able to get up only by rolling forward, essentially crunching up and somehow getting up on my feet. </b>I had to leave if I wanted to get to the race. Once upright, I was able to walk and I could jog slowly. <br />
<br />I drove to the race and was able find a parking in a free garage so easily. I walked out of my car and realized that even with me getting to the at 6:45 I was able to find a spot across the street from the finish line. This was wonderful! <br />
<br />I got my bib in minutes and had time use the port-o-potty, go back to my car to change into something more comfortable. It was so painful to bend or twist. Fortunately running doesn’t ask for bending and twist! I stilled believe I would have a chance to run. <br />
<br /><b>I lined up at the start. Gun goes off and off we go. I start running and so far everything is "ok". </b>My back is not ok, but I can move… then we start to climb up hill. The strain on my back while going up was already causing me some pain. But even worse, <b>just like at Boston, my shins were on fire. I start walking because running is just making things worse</b>.<b> I stop at the side of the course.</b> I try to do some dynamic stretching to loose up the tightness. Just ankle rolls and that helped. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>As soon as the 5:30 pace group blew past me and I was not even at mile 2 I knew I was not running a marathon today. </b><br />
<br />A guy next to me mentioned he was in the half and said that if I want to drop down I need to decide soon. I stopped to enjoy the view of the mountains, called Sidney to tell him I would be home a lot earlier than expected and I continued on hiking up the hill. I took a photo at the star and found that I was feeling better. I know I made a good choice.<br />
<br />I was able to run when my shins loosened up and found that <b>by Mile 5, the course finally dropped and the descent felt fantastic. My shins were pain free. My back was not getting worse. Again, no twisting or bending but I could run and/or hike and it was glorious! </b> <br />
<br />The only trouble was I was clearly the first marathon bib spectators were seeing and everyone was so excited to see a woman crushing the countries toughest marathon! Yet them seemed to miss how I was in no rush. I even called Kim at one point because I needed some conversation and while hiking and talking, some spectators yelled out “Oh wow, she is winning and she is having a conversation on her phone!” <br />
<br />“No. I am definitely not winning.” <br />
<br />“But you have a red bib! You are in the marathon!”<br />
<br />“Oh I am definitely not in the marathon. I am running the half. This bib was a mistake ;)”<br />
<br />I started to feel good enough to run some of the hills and start pushing myself to get some work out of this experience. A cyclist is climbing next to me, passes me, stops, turns around. I can see he has a camera. He says, “Are you winning?”… I say “Oh no… I am not winning. I turned with the half marathoners b/c I threw my back out this morning”… he says “I was killing myself trying chase you up this hill!” He was taking race photos. I apologized profusely and decided I needed to fold over my bib so people would not think I was in the lead. But then I was afraid people would think I was banditing. <b>I have to admit, it felt nice to be up front again ;) </b><br />
<br /><b>I ended up finishing the half in 2:37. I walked to my car and drove straight home.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I am sure this is a personal worst time but it was not a personal worst experience. My back was killing me, but for the duration of the half, with those glorious hills and the wonderful weather, I was in heaven. </b></span></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-84341776942575574612018-04-24T21:06:00.003-04:002018-04-24T21:26:33.589-04:00Boston 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Boston 2018…. what a day!</span><br />
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<br />Yeah, there was a lot rain. It was cold. And the wind! Holy cow. I loved how it got stronger as we ran further along. That was fantastic! ;) </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>So, it was definitely not great running weather, at least not for those hoping to race their best race ever.</b> <b>Fortunately, for me I was not one of those people. </b></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <br />I could write about the stress Boston causes me. But I would rather not. That is personal to me. For context, I can share at least that I was there in 2013. I have recurring stress each year that impacts my ability to function and is triggered by this race and everything related to it. I would like to not think about it, but as a marathon coach, it is hard to get away from being tagged, emailed, messaged, texted etc from people who don't know me well enough to know to please not message me, tag me, text me, email me asking me about my plans and whether I am racing. The reality is each year I am battling to get there and I just don't know if I will win. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But that is all I need to say. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is no reason to take a great experience and turn into something else. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <br />I am a streak runner. I am always running. I haven't missed a day of running since 2011, BUT that is not the same training to race a marathon. Marathon training is hard.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBJDWjl7W2xpFWe2l6R25uljz8apgrIgpFiL74-_sM53cKkqNQoNm5qoMUQhwrc9Jx1ZaJiDPQQGU6MjXkv-wDhFH7vQ_7p8n5JWKNaJEhp0662WLWxafQvkJmjwUhwM4sXEvUHOzAFVc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-04-24+at+8.54.57+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1114" data-original-width="1254" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBJDWjl7W2xpFWe2l6R25uljz8apgrIgpFiL74-_sM53cKkqNQoNm5qoMUQhwrc9Jx1ZaJiDPQQGU6MjXkv-wDhFH7vQ_7p8n5JWKNaJEhp0662WLWxafQvkJmjwUhwM4sXEvUHOzAFVc/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-04-24+at+8.54.57+PM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">About 4 weeks ago, I started racing again (with a 5k) just for fun while I work on getting back in the flow of training. At this stage, all I am doing is showing up and pinning on a bib while I work on building my endurance again. I can still cover distance, but just not like I used to. I am heavier than I would like to be when racing. <br />
<br /><b>I almost didn’t go. In fact, I was sure I wasn't going. I told everyone who I tell my personal business to (<i>my #Top5</i>) that I was definitely, absolutely not going. I canceled plans with Elizabeth who was going to come with me and told her to not come b/c I wasn't going.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I believed that f I just decided to NOT go, then maybe I could sleep. Maybe I could relax. Maybe the stress would disappate... but there was this little voice in the back of my mind, maybe it was coming more from deep within my heart, that whispered over and over to me "..<i>but you know you want to be there..</i>" (and besides I do this every single year and decide I am NOT going, then go... except for last year when I strained my achilles). </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">... and then leading up to the race this little girl, </span></span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sheena,</b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> who lives in Boston right along the course, </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">asked if she could use my FB profile picture to make a collage about runners for a class project to show during her school's visit from Katherine Switzer. When this little girl thinks of a runner, she thinks of me. Omg, how could I not go to Boston now! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only disappointing part of Boston for me was that due to the weather being brutal, I missed my chance give Sheena a hug along the way but that was my fault. I missed my start.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikdd3E2xAQkgLsuoIxVcR7Oj9zz2wg2ngR-vbioWXEiaSkC-f0m8oUF9drQ31c1NxehB1AXAtFREFPLWK6VPtsNfxWI9dbhIMmWOjxjgZJNAu6SO9D1Xki8rLmgGjA5sJDPXAykF7WjUo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-04-24+at+8.53.23+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1222" data-original-width="806" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikdd3E2xAQkgLsuoIxVcR7Oj9zz2wg2ngR-vbioWXEiaSkC-f0m8oUF9drQ31c1NxehB1AXAtFREFPLWK6VPtsNfxWI9dbhIMmWOjxjgZJNAu6SO9D1Xki8rLmgGjA5sJDPXAykF7WjUo/s400/Screen+Shot+2018-04-24+at+8.53.23+PM.png" width="262" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I had a fantastic bib. I worked so hard for that bib. I had a 2:55 qualifier. But I am not in that type of shape</b>. <b>Rather than start in Wave 1, Corral 3, my plan was to dress warm an dry, drop to the back of my corral, run 10:00 miles the whole way, and have a great time I had shared that info with Michele before I headed off to the race. </b><br />
<br />My wave was to take off at 10:00 am, but for some reason ;) Kim and I had a little trouble motivating ourselves to get out of my warm car and onto the bus to the start to hang around in the rain. We ended up arriving outside the Village at 9:40 am. By the time we got close to actually using a portopotty it was already 9:55.<b> I was not planning to rush to get in my Wave, just to watch them all run off into the distance as I chased behind them calling "<i>hey guys! wait for me!</i>"...</b> so I let it go and I dropped back to the middle of wave 2, which was still too fast for me, but a little more reasonable. I didn't get trampled.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With the hard rain falling, my phone wrapped in two ziplock bags, my hands wrapped in two layers of mittens, I was not able to text Michele to let her know my plans had changed. I hoped she would figure it out from the tracking.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The emotions of the day were strong. I feel like this caused me some pain.</b> Maybe I am just that out of shape or maybe my this was some odd defense mechanism at play... just my mind trying to convince me to just get off the course. "<b><i>Just stop running. You should not be here!" </i></b>Before I even get to mile 1 at 8:15 pace my shins were cramping badly. I just ran a very very hilly 20k at 8:24 pace, finishing that race in sub-8 pace, no shin pain. Here at M1, I am in plain? Mile One! There is no reason why I can't run downhill at 8:15 pace for a little while…. but I simply could not and my shins were on fire. <br />
<br />All I could think was "OMG, this is M1! I bought way too many Boston 2018 things! I never buy things! I need to finish this race even if I walk!" By M2, everything felt terrible and by M3 I was walking. Then I stopped to try to do some dynamic stretching to loosen up my shins. I knew nothing was wrong physically, but I needed to convince myself that this IS happening. I am here. I am running this, well... “running (used loosely)” ... no matter how long it takes. <br />
<br />After walking a little, my left shin started to unsieze and I felt hopeful. Soon the right was loosened as well. Finally I was able to start running again. I wan’t looking at my watch because time did not matter. I just needed to perserve at whatever pace I felt I wanted to run. <br />
<br />I wished I had seen <b>Rory's</b> (Sheena's brother) sign because he captured my feeling exactly! </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Run like You Want To!" </i>I was definitely doing that!<br /><br />Being in no rush, I stopped at a portpotty to try to adjust my gear. I had my phone in my capri pocket wrapped in two bags and I was worried it was getting wet. It took more time than I expected to get myself organized. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I knew I was able to run non-stop the entire way. The last marathon I ran was Jan and then my training stopped short. The longest non-stop hard run I have run was the 20k last weekend and that really isn’t much help. I had no business expecting to run 26.2M, <b>so rather than run as far as I could and crash and burn in the hills, I took the opposite approach.</b> <b>I used the first 8-10 miles as my warm up and once ready to go, I ran the rest of the way in non-stop, with the point being to <u>NOT</u> walk through the newton, and heartbreak, hills. </b><br />
<br /><b>It fell so amazing to run those those rollers and get stronger and stronger as the race proceeded on</b>. I see runners who were clearly underdressed getting carted off to the med tent or walking with mylar wraps. I did feel bad for those who trained their hearts out and had a weather-related meltdown. <br />
<br /><b>Once over Heartbreak Hill, I felt victorious. I knew I would be able to run the rest of the way in. I negative split Boston by 12 minutes. My body felt good.</b> I was warm, but comfortable. I was moving well through the finish and f<b>eeling grateful that I did not let anyone or anything stop me from attending this race. </b><br />
<br /><b>At 2:49 pm, just as my foot hit the finish line in 4:19, just under 10:00 pace, the announcer stated that <u>at that exact time 5 years ago</u>, several lives were lost due to the bombing attacks and a moment of silence was called for. It was amazing to hit the finish line just in time to pay respects and to honor the lives lost. And then there was a moment where I realized someone was in my exact place 5 years earlier, crossing the line at this exact time and that is just a very emotional thought. I walk through the finishers area in tears.</b> Everything felt surreal.<br />
<br />I collected my medal, snack, and mylar cape. I took the bus back to my car that was parked in Hopkinton. I change clothes in my car and drove 4.5 hour straight home to NJ. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am so grateful that I went. I left knowing that I have to come back. I left knowing it will be just as challenging for me as it always is each and every year. It doesn't get better. It seems to feel harder each year, not easier. If I can return, I would like to. </span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-74318107698483610212018-04-10T07:12:00.001-04:002018-04-10T07:43:47.926-04:00Racing in the Moment - Indian Trails 20K, Leonardo, NJ, 4/8/18<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Indian Trails 20k is the first team race of the year. This is funny to me because it is also the longest, hardest course of the year too. But people are trained up for Spring Marathons so it does work well when timing is works. This year, timing was tough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">If I wanted race with my club again, so this means I need to show when my schedule allows and do my best, whatever that looks like. After racing the 5K last weekend, I asked Alanna if she wanted a 20K of hills ;). We need hills and I need to see more finish lines. I miss the social aspect of club racing too. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <br /><b>Saturday, the day before the race (this speaks to how serious we were about "racing") Alanna and I run 10.5 miles. </b>My back is flaring up badly. It was my worst day of back pain in a long time. My back has been hurting again on and off for the last few months, because I am tad too heavy for my spine right now. It does not take much extra weight for me to hurt. I have two destroyed discs. I have had degenerative disc disease since at least 2012. It was bad in 2015, but completely managed and mitigated in 2016.<br /> <br />On Sunday, driving to the race was bad for my back too. This is a hilly course and back pain could force me to walk. Normally, I would not mind. I have walked a lot when my back hurts. There is no choice. <b>But today I have my team to think about. This does not mean I am going to somehow suddently be able to will myself to run through pain. Again, there is no choice when my back is non-functional. I email my captain and tell her to please know I am in pain and may be walking. If I run 9:00 pace or 9:30 pace that might be a great day today. I ask her to put me where she thinks she can use me, but to know I am hurting. </b> <br />The funny thing about my back pain is that is comes and goes. Sometime on hills I feel good because of the varied grade. Often a flat course is worse due to the repetition of the same posture. Sometimes downhills are excruciating. Sometimes when I am running faster I feel much better than when I am running slower. Maybe there is something about my form being better when I am trying to move quickly. It is a mystery I am no longer interested in solving.<br /> <br /><b>During our 5.2 mile warm-up</b>, I could feel my back spasming and I was getting concerned.<br /> <br /><b>I could never figure out what triggers the pain, but I know training well, getting lean, doing my single leg squats and core work all make the pain a non-issue. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I have been doing none of that. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But <b>I have been doing a lot of meditation</b> and I thought about that a lot as soon as I started to run. <br /> <br />The only time I have been really <b>mindful about my breathing</b> lately has been when meditating. At about 2 minutes into this race I started noticing my breath. I<b> started noticing that I was taking deep full breaths like when I meditate and this triggered me to consider applying what I practice each morning to this situation. </b><br /> <br />Each morning I <b>practice two skills</b>, (1) the first is <b>being aware of what I am experiencing</b> <b>and how it is shaping my emotional tone</b> and (2) the second is l<b>etting go of any concerns that are related to past and future in order stay in the present moment. </b> <br />So I am listening to my breathing and I determine that I<b> feel comfortable, really comfortable despite working hard and this is good.</b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then I start to look around me and I ask “<b>Do the people around me look more or less comfortable than I think I feel right now?</b>” I notice heavy breathers. I notice people driving their arms hard. I notice a few who look fluid and smooth. <b>I notice that there are MANY more people in my immediate area who appear to be working a lot harder than I feel I am working and I think “Good.This tells me that I am in the right place. I don’t want to be the one working harder than the other right now.” </b><br /> <br />This is a meaningful insight for me as a races. I used to use my perception of the others around me to gauge whether or not I felt they were working too hard, whether they would likely fade, whether I could beat them by the end. <b>But I never consciously used my perception of my own comfort level, in comparison to those around, to me assess whether I was pacing myself smartly.</b> Maybe I did this subconsciously. Maybe this is just semantics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For this race, <b>I was not using my watch to track my pace.</b> It was on, but I did not care to look at it. The data was just to be tracked. The pace I raced had to be paced by feel because I have no idea what I could do today in these conditions. So to help me gauge how I felt, I reflected off of others and determined that if I could run with a group of people who were all working just a little harder than I was working, then I was probably pacing myself well enough to pass them all in the second half, when I hope to be able to have some speed left in me (after all this is race so placement will eventually mattter).<br /> <br /><b>This is the longest race I have run in a long time.</b> This is probably the <b>longest run I have run in a long time non-stop, probably since January</b> when I ran a marathon. In training, I always stop at the bathroom by 2 miles in. In training we may stop briefly for any random numbers of reasons, to refill a bottle, because someone needs to do something. I am also certain <b>I have not run this fast for this far in a long long time</b>. I ran the 5k at 7:24 pace last weekend but that was just 3M of hard running. This is 12.4 of hills. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Based on my 5k time, <b>I initially told our captain that I expected to run 8:15 +/- 10 second per mile. (I am really pleased that I achieved this by then end).</b> This pace range felt realistic for a flat course similar to the course I just raced for 3 miles. Last year I ran this course in 7:19 pace, so I hoped over a minute per mile slower was possible. (It takes training to run fast.)<br /> <br /><b>It was too easy to get preoccupied about my recent Minimalist Approach to training or to drift ahead to the miles before me. But every single time I caught myself thinking about past or future, I would stop myself and say “Stay in this moment! How do you feel right now? Are you ok right now? Are you trying your best right now? Are you running too fast right now? Can you run faster right now and still hold it together? ... This is the only moment you can control and if you make sure every "right now" moment is an honest best effort but never overreaching from your current ability, then this race will go really well! Race the Moment You are In!" </b><br /> <br />By “ok” I don’t mean “not trying” or “sandbagging” or “taking it easy on myself.” By “ok” I mean, “Running as fast as I can run without feeling like my wheels are about to come off.” When I raced by best races in the past I was very very in tune with how my legs felt. I could feel that line where I was over-shooting my pace and throwing away any additional gears I might have in reserve for the end when I could really use it to drop time. I would slow to not overshoot my pace. I didn’t care what anyone did around me. I ran by the way my body felt. It works.<br /> <br /><b>Today, I was doing this again, except every step was about staying in the present. There was no mental math about what I could finish in if I just kept up this pace. I wan’t even looking at my watch. I knew with 100% certainity that I was giving my best effort in each moment and therefore the data meant nothing to me. It could change nothing. </b> <br /><b>The hills were brutal and I love them so much.</b> I listened to my body, found a pace I could sustain, crested eat hill feeling really good, and cruised down the decent. <br /> <br />I remember thinking about how strong my heart felt, which is surprising since I haven’t trained it yet to be strong in a race. I started thinking about how strong my legs felt and how nothing hurt at all. I started thinking about how comfortable my lungs felt and how breathing wasn’t even a problem over these hills. Don’t get me wrong, the hills impacted my breathing significantly, but not to the point that could not recovery from a climb quickly and that is when I realized my lungs are strong. <b>My only issue right now is body mass. I am very much within my healthy weight range. I am just heavier than I was in the past and I can feel it when I run. If I can spend some time burning off a few %s of body fat, and working to make my lean muscle stronger, I feel like I have a lot of potential to return to fast racing again. It will just take some work. A lot of work. But fun work. Work that makes you proud of yourself. Work that surprises you as your ability unfolds. I look forward to this work! </b> <br /><b>As we ran toward the turn around, we kept going down down down. As soon as my mind drifted to thoughts about how hard the climb would feel, I stopped and asked myself “How do you feel right now!?” Omg I feel fantastic. I feel fast and strong and like I am flying (after all it was a downhill). “Can you do anything different to make this moment better?” “No.”. Ok then, proceed with the running. And just like that any concerns about the up hill was gone and I almost missed out on enjoying the glorious descent I was running in that moment because I was letting my mind worry about the turn around and the climb back up. </b><br /> <br />As soon as we hit the turn around and started to climb I recognized that I feel really strong! This hill is big but I can run it all. Nothing hurts. <b><u>The run is hard but "Hard" and "Hurt" are both four letter words that start with the letter H but that is all there is that makes them the same.</u></b> Hurt may be just on the other side of Hard, but I am staying in my happy place for this race. I can’t do anything when I am in what I identify as pain. I enjoy doing Hard things so I just keep pushing.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know I paced myself well because up the hill and even on the down I am passing runners who started much faster than me. <b>We are climbing the steepest hill of he course, the last big climb, up a dirt road and it feels awesome. I keep checking in with myself “How do you feel? I feel good!” as I run past those who look like they could not answer that question the same way. The hills is really hard. My pace is slowed but I ran it. </b><br /> <br />A younger runner comes up on my shoulder and he says<b> “Do you know that of all the people I could see, you and I were the only two who did not walk on that hill!” I responded “That means we must know how to pace ourselves!” </b>He smiles and I do too b/c I feel like this race is going very well and I know that last mile is fast! <br /> <br />As soon as we hit the descent I decide it is now time to use up whatever I got left in my tank. For the fiirst time in this entire race I felt like I was getting some lift, like when I am in my zone and running as fast as I can. I miss being lighter because lift doesn’t come easier to me then. <br /> <br /><b>I dig deep and hope that maybe if I can push really hard, I can negative split this thing. I give 100%. My last mile was by far my fastest. The long downhill helped a lot. I did manage a negative split and this makes me proud! </b><br /><br />I cross the line in 1:44:50 and I can’t believe how good I feel. I do a 2.4M c/d and call it day at 20M. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't win anything but I feel like I won the day. Later I check team results and I see that my women's Open team, in our case made up of all women over 40 years old, placed 3rd OA and my 40's Women's team won. This is a good start to the season and I am glad I was able to contribute to help the team in both categories! </span><br />
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-83166489089139918812018-04-02T00:10:00.001-04:002018-04-10T22:26:07.311-04:00Trying to Start Over - Run to Cure Blood Cancer 5k, Winding River Park, Toms River 3/31/18 <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo stolen from Alanna's page ;)</td></tr>
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It has been quite some time since I blogged about racing. I have been busy. I have a lot of projects on my plate and recently I have been working a lot (3 different jobs) and going to grad school as well. I am spread really thin so something had to give and it was training to race. The reality is racing doesn't pay the bills but work does and when you have student loans out the whazoo, you have to work work work to get those manageable. <br />
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I have really been enjoying the work I do at the hospital, changing my scheduled so that I create a more meaningful series of treatment group each week. I have been feeling productive and purposeful there. I work at the hospital as a therapist over 20+ hours per week, not including the commuting which is about 45 minutes each way. I also have my coaching roster of clients. I build plans for, review logs weekly, ask about whole person wellness weekly, reply to questions, revise plans. Plus I need to maintain and update my websites, do my billing and accouting, create and update forms, and I creating an online academy where I can offer supplemental material, like my nutrition course. I also field questions from potential clients or friends who just want to ask me "quick training questions" but don't actually want to hire me to train them etc... (By the way when someone ask a "quick question", that just means they are hoping for a quick answer, not that the question won't take any time). As a result, coaching for me is my full time job, which takes up more time (and pays much less) than any other work I have even done. But my coaching business is my baby. I give all I can to do a good job for my runners. And then I have my Kinesiology grad school classes. This work takes up my nights and weekends and equal about 15-20+ hours of my time. I used to train 10-20 hours per week but something had to give once I was offered the chance to also teach at the graduate level at NYU on top of everything else. There are only 168 hours per week. I have been very tired.<br />
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I can't say that I have been sad to race less. Part of me has missed it. But I was offered the opportunity to teach at NYU and this was something I have wanted to do for a long time. This is a dream job for me. <b>I feel so grateful for what is ON my plate, not sad for what is not.</b> I didn't actually apply for this job. NYU contacted me and that makes this feel so very sweet. Years ago, I reached out to the director of the program I graduated from and asked her to please keep me in mind for teaching. It had to be maybe a decade later and I got that call :) Today, I have a glorious ID in my wallet that says NYU Adjunct/Staff and this makes my heart so very happy. To find the time to create the syllabus, prepare the lecture material, review the research and reading material I would assign, travel into the city, teach the class, communicate with students and co-faculty, etc... while stilling working at the hospital, while coaching, while going to school, I just had to let training hard go. I trained less, ate more as I slept less, and just lost my fitness as a runner. But my heart has been full. <3<br />
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I finished teaching my last class of the semester last week, so I get to start over. Although I am starting a new 10-Week Fitness Nutrition group (which I created and I will teach that starting on Monday 4/2), this group work should be a little less demanding than NYU since I have taught this course several times already.<br />
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<b>Now that I am getting some time back in my life, I need a check in race! </b><br />
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<b>Alanna agreed to meet me at a 5k in Toms River. But Alanna and I don't meet for 3M runs</b>. We are not going to travel an hour each just for a 5k. <b>So we ran 8M as a warm up, raced the 5k which was really a 3 Miler and then ran 3 miles after to cool down.</b><br />
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I am happy to say I finished 3rd Female, but this was year #1 and the race was small and not part of any race series. There was no real competitiveness here. It was fundraiser for blood cancer.<br />
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<b>I was beat by a 9 year old girl. That made me smile.</b><br />
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<b>I was also beat by a Taco</b>. I am not sure how I feel about that. ;)<br />
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I got to revisit how much nervous energy I get at races. I got to remember why I tend to race alone. I like to run around the starting area and listen for annoucements, while the little voice in my head goes "Ahhhhh! omg, omg, omg you have to pee again for the third time in 10 mins!!!" This need to stay right around the start is probably ingrained in me from my track running days, when the start of your race was not at a certain exact time but rather you had to listen for annoucements for first call and second call with details about how much time until your event would starts. So now I just like to hover around the start. Straying too far from the staging area will make me more anxious than I need to be as gun time approaches.<br />
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<b>I wish I could say that I just ran this race "as a workout"</b> and report that my pace was not reflective of my best work. But that would be lie. <b>I ran my butt off. That was all I had in me. I tried my best. </b><br />
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I started up front and decided to not mind my watch. I have no idea what I would do, but I told Alanna that if I was under 7:30 pace for this thing I would be thrilled. That was a random guess. I know I was not fit. I know I have gained weight. I knew I would not be in the 6:xx's.<br />
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As I ran along, I picked a pace that I felt I could hold but also one I felt I could speed up from as the race progressed. I felt like I was running forever and was wondering where the heck M1 was??? Finally I glance at my watch and I see it is .75M only and the pace is 7:20<br />
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<b>... and then the Taco passes me. Excellent. </b><br />
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<b>First woman passes me as well, but I am not racing anyone but me.</b> I let her go. This really was not actually my choice. :) I do plan to push the pace a little to see if I can get at least 5 second faster in M2. The race is flat except for some little bridge. The weather is 48 degrees and no wind. It is a beautiful day for a race. The course is very very windy, as in "lots of turns" windy... not lots of wind. (Winding River Park). The path is a little torn up. Those issues did not slow me down at all.<br />
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<b>In Mile 2, I am passed by the 9 year old... she is making ground on the Taco</b>.... <b>M2 7:16.</b><br />
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Ok, at least I got a little faster, but man this is hard. We are heading back to the start now. Miles ago I was confident that I would have a kick at the end of this thing. But that dream was long gone. I wasn't running so hard that I felt I was suffering completely, but I didn't have another gear. I am 10 lbs heavier than my ideal racing weight, which I was close to the last 5k I raced in December which as a 6:29 pace race and one I was very happy with. I had realistic expectations today.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo posted on OCR's FB page</td></tr>
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I was holding my 7:17 pace for most of the first half of the last mile but could feel my body running out of oomph. Every part of me felt out of shape. The runners around me were pettering out and I couldn't shift gear. But I had not practiced shifting gears in many months.<br />
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The Taco was fading and I was making some ground. <b>But my lungs felt terrible and my asthma was problematic</b>. My lungs are just not used to working that hard. I had a hacking cough the rest of the day from this race.<br />
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Nothing about me has worked that hard in a long time. I faded in last mile in 7:24 pace. I am ok with this.<br />
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<b>I finish the 3M run in 22:01,</b> which was just about what I expected. I head back to run in with Alanna for her last .2M. I joke with her about whether she is ok with having an illegal pacer on a short course, non-USATF sanctioned, fundraiser and she says she will be ok with a DQ if that happens. ;)<br />
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<b>She asks how I did. I tell her "I just wanted to race something and I did! My heart is happy! But my lungs... not so much." </b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo posted on OCR's FB page</td></tr>
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At the awards ceremony I was announced as 3rd Female OA and gifted a gift card of unknown value to a resturant that is actually near my parents' house. The race raised money for LLS, which is where I met Alanna as we both were coaching Team in Training back then. This was a good day!<br />
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<b>I now have my baseline check in race.</b> It is very far from where I used to be, but I am ok with that too. I need to use my time, the time I got back from teaching, to now get back to training. <b> </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>I have a performance test to chip away from now. I need to feel better. I need to get fitter. I need to run faster again. </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>I don't think I am done with racing hard just yet. </b><br />
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When I am in shape, people will try to distinguish me from the average person by telling me they think I am "not normal." They have no idea how normal I am. The claim that I am just gifted with some natural ability to just run 6 minute miles whenever I feel like it. There is nothing I can say to explain that this is not true. But I know those comments are not about me, but rather about the speaker making the comments. What I do know is <b>when I am not in shape, I am just like everyone else who is also not in race shape. Without training to race, I am not trained to race. I don't have some innate natural ability to do great things. I have a leaky heart valve. I have asthma. I have a carb-craving that keeps me heavier than I need to be unless I run off what I eat. I am normal and to race well it takes work. Hard work. Everything I have ever earned as a runner I had to work for. I had to train hard and smart. I had to be consistent, make good (often boring) choices, and take care of myself as a runner. I had to become a student of the sport and read/study/learn. I know how to do all that work. I also know how much time it takes to do it right. I need to have the room in my life to do it again.</b> I want to do it again.<br />
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When I have the time, I know I can do good work. Here is to hoping I can find the time to nurture my runner-self, while also nuturing all the other sides of myself that I need to nuture to feel balanced, content, and purposed.<br />
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Distance 3M<br />
Time 22:01<br />
Place 3rd Female<br />
<br />Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-23362621797567955352017-09-11T17:57:00.002-04:002017-09-11T21:28:22.491-04:00Mid-Mountain Marathon, Park City, Utah, 8/19/17<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mid-Mountain Marathon, Park City, Utah </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A few months ago, I felt compelled to see some mountain tops. Last June, SuperDave and I ran 51M up to a summit in Bryce Canyon, just in time to see the sunset. This was one of the best experiences I had in a long time. I needed to see the sunrise over a mountain again.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This year, Sid and I decided to visit Park City. While there, I ran the Mid-Mountain Marathon, a trail marathon that takes place at about 8500ft for most of the race. Being from 20ft, I knew the altitude would limit me. Considering that I feel very much out of "racing shape", I planned to hike when I needed to and run when I could. My biggest concern was whether or not I would be able to beat the cut-off at 16M. We had to maintain a 15:00 pace and I truly wasn’t sure if I would be able to do that. It really depended upon how technical the trail was. Altitude can be soul crushing to those who reside at sea level.<br />
<br />I booked a hotel in a very nice lodge so Sid would have a comfortable place to stay while I ran. I felt like we needed a splurge weekend, so this trip was truly a vacation in a beautiful place with a marathon thrown in, just so I could get a workout. The lodge did not disappoint us at all. <br />
<br />The first thing we did after landing in SLC was to drive up to Guardsman’s Pass. This is the start of the Big Cottonwood Marathon, one of my very favorite races. We went on a short hike and just enjoyed the views while trying to breathe at 9700 ft. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">The next morning I would try to run at 8500 ft. As I huffed and puffed while walking back to the car, I began to question what I had managed to get myself into. Hey, worst case scenario is that I DNF. That is not really a big deal to me. I know most people feel a DNF is some type of epic personal failure. I just don’t feel that way. Running is something I do</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> for me, for fun, to bring me joy, and right now if I feel that I something is going so terribly wrong that I want to or need to stop I will stop. Sure it is disappointing, but I don't beat myself up for doing it. I have nothing to prove. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0J9d5cAh6RsL6rLElhhdaG2cz_CR3lqaENq5MI-X8iPdDGzuSu6EcrEHKfoST7NqcWz89YniJCziIRSQFJUBhx8pRXaJ3KKUodVgXwn4juwvYCDONVl-U1El-S4wSzTWyCF3_6Q4ca3E/s1600/IMG_6339.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0J9d5cAh6RsL6rLElhhdaG2cz_CR3lqaENq5MI-X8iPdDGzuSu6EcrEHKfoST7NqcWz89YniJCziIRSQFJUBhx8pRXaJ3KKUodVgXwn4juwvYCDONVl-U1El-S4wSzTWyCF3_6Q4ca3E/s320/IMG_6339.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No matter what happened, I knew I would still get to see the sunrise over the mountains while traveling as far as I could on foot. There will be a day that I can no longer run trails for any duration at 8500ft. Today would not be that day. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />I did not do much planning (or specific training). It was on the way to packet pickup that I realized I was supposed to take a bus to the start. When I learned where the start was, I was so happy to discover that it was actually .2M from my hotel! POINT TWO MILES… No way! That is so perfect!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">With the 2 hour time change, getting up for the race was easy. My 5:00 AM alarm for a 7 AM race start felt like I was sleeping in. I didn’t even organize my gear until the morning. I wasn’t sure how my shoes would </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">feel</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> since I was wearing new wear-test Hokas. I needed to put 25 miles per week on </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">them</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> so this would knock out a week’s mileage in one day! I was </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">hopeful</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> they would be ok. They were. </span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At sunrise, Sid and I walked over to the start. I was nervous. It felt like forever since I raced a trail race at altitude. I had no idea what the footing would be like. Setting realistic expectations, I seeded myself way in the back. <br />
<br />The weather conditions were perfect! It was high 40’s at the start and the temp would rise into the 80s by the end. However, with no humidity and a shady course, it just felt cool and comfortable the entire way. <br />
<br />Off we went and by the end of mile 1, I felt like I was already in trouble. The altitude was just too much for me. I learned from last year at Big Cottonwood, that when I don’t get in enough air, my lower legs cramp and spasm. It was happening again, as we worked our way from about 7600 ft to 8500 ft. <br />
<br />By the time I hit the 3M mark, I was run/hiking at a blistering 14:50 pace. I had stopped for a few photos, but I also needed that time to catch my breath. I was certain I was not going to make the cut-off. I am pretty sure most of the entire field has passed me. Trains of runners on the single track “On Your Left’d” me for the first 45 minutes of this race. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_KKklNyW8Wv_cygTv3K24roU7-0OYiT10W_2CbtRcd_n04kz2k06CgYnU_Pn9t3oCB87e82eng1Wxcc2hRrjQECtS8fyXM2Pqu0qBNFYGAwo12jOA1OSDddz8w1naeaOUdC5DiaFrGQ/s1600/IMG_6487.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1136" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_KKklNyW8Wv_cygTv3K24roU7-0OYiT10W_2CbtRcd_n04kz2k06CgYnU_Pn9t3oCB87e82eng1Wxcc2hRrjQECtS8fyXM2Pqu0qBNFYGAwo12jOA1OSDddz8w1naeaOUdC5DiaFrGQ/s320/IMG_6487.PNG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-xW8sDTvpvaSltSGzOPgYl7yFYX-o58v_J4SBXF5CFp_bojZqfQHMSXRdGIIJcKkwaEwcuQyv3Uqp_hFcV1B5daJ9EsKeJaSrRxwXLRVmasLy9hJn_ZXhxVrCkJzRai1hoGyl1_oz7A/s1600/IMG_6417.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By 3.6M into the run, everything started to turn around! The shin spasms alleviated, the course started to feel better to me. There was runnable trail for a long time and I just ran ran ran… slowly... but it was definitely running ;)<br />
<br />From this point on, I must have passed about 100 runners. I wasn’t fast, but everything I could run I did and only one person passed me from the 3.6M mark through the finish (just one guy who was hauling at the very end). I had stumbled over rocks about 5 times and was so proud to have been able to right myself before falling. People around me were not so lucky. Most falls happen when glancing away from the trail. When checking the watch, looking at the beautiful views, or looking up ahead to try to avoid mountain bikers coming the opposite way, all led to me kicking a rock that threw off my balance. <br />
<br />But it was not until the last few miles of the race that I had gotten so fatigued that lifting my feet became a chore. The course shifted from shaded woodsy trail to extremely runnable downhill switch backs. Due to my slower pace for most of the race, I was not really burnt out too much by the end. As we hit the switchbacks I was able to pick up my pace, but not my feet, apparently! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I fell 3.5 times between M21 and the M25. At one point I was getting annoyed with myself for all the stumbling. (.5 was because I landed against a tree, so technically I was still upright. But that tree kicked my butt!) Even with my unique technique of flinging myself down the switchbacks, I was still passing people. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-3ot0FRrTlprQyRS6tFmWO6NmARUJFadSkyqDjPtuYq8aiPcIapAKLo3eRKc4z-p_x4aThwHTM-3mWg9LPYr7XFXX39naNY6CHzJBhCbwn-6n5-ZLsYHwpRxqLRbHMEhTAPAK-rqCAHo/s1600/FullSizeRender+13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1148" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-3ot0FRrTlprQyRS6tFmWO6NmARUJFadSkyqDjPtuYq8aiPcIapAKLo3eRKc4z-p_x4aThwHTM-3mWg9LPYr7XFXX39naNY6CHzJBhCbwn-6n5-ZLsYHwpRxqLRbHMEhTAPAK-rqCAHo/s320/FullSizeRender+13.jpg" width="225" /></a><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <br />This marathon turned out to be one of slowest marathons in my life, but it was one of the most enjoyable. I love the area. Park City is fun. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The downtown main street area is filled with delicious food at interesting restaurants. The mountain views are inspiring. I was just so glad to be there doing something that scared me, in a good way.<br />
<br />I need more Adventure in my life and the Mid-Mountain Marathon certainly fed my soul. As I approached the finish line, I started to feel myself getting emotional. I was so uncertain about whether or not I could finish a trail marathon that was over 8000 ft elevation. A lot could have gone wrong. Very few things actually did. I set out at a slow pace, which helped make the work more fun. By the end, I still felt energized. I was able to finish the second half stronger than the first. I was only bleeding a little at the end. It was a good day!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My time was 5:39. Sidney seemed proud of me. He was quick to point out that I was 14th in my age group, which made me laugh a bit. But he followed this up with “<i>Look at the entire leader board!!! … Almost every single person ahead of you is from the mountains. You are one of the first from sea level to finish!</i>”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ok, that made me feel proud of myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sid and I spent the next few days hiking trails, eating and drinking downtown, and relaxing at the lodge. It was one of the best trips I have had in a long long time. We didn’t feel rushed. Our accommodations were so beautiful that just hanging out at the lodge felt like we were doing something special. We spent time just sitting on our deck together watching the mountain be a mountain.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNYEFnJn47SXY1UciPCli9mEB1k_2i4QP5g2kYTCwH6xLvBVx9Fwp0eXBOd5yYUYNYurBqJrUlmUMTygfe8qz3B-qDV4RT-DpxhqNtY-NyJT91Gyyu-2SoU6P8JCHCTG5QmrA1rbHlWeI/s1600/IMG_6482.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNYEFnJn47SXY1UciPCli9mEB1k_2i4QP5g2kYTCwH6xLvBVx9Fwp0eXBOd5yYUYNYurBqJrUlmUMTygfe8qz3B-qDV4RT-DpxhqNtY-NyJT91Gyyu-2SoU6P8JCHCTG5QmrA1rbHlWeI/s320/IMG_6482.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwc93FfZVjhZh61l-vzWFHvTmvOswqnwuO8ZmKuq5gaul_pW898LUFmvkeRqxHSUhEno-rsN6P2nMhRhKDeoPbAxf-V-CG711kty0FbgU4dkhLXdw14UT3BMyK-pxY47c85nM4pBmcPI/s1600/IMG_6453.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwc93FfZVjhZh61l-vzWFHvTmvOswqnwuO8ZmKuq5gaul_pW898LUFmvkeRqxHSUhEno-rsN6P2nMhRhKDeoPbAxf-V-CG711kty0FbgU4dkhLXdw14UT3BMyK-pxY47c85nM4pBmcPI/s400/IMG_6453.JPG" width="300" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">What a great trip! </span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-1094782634252331582017-07-20T11:19:00.002-04:002017-07-21T05:50:17.182-04:00Racing with Sidney and the Teterboro 5k, Teterboro Airport, NJ. 7/15/17 <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRnaMYyTGA-4VOU_Y0GwVpJR3uu6W3QrtTBlk8k1fZJxRVfQpDml18y6bnQCUil3pS-e7HDOdCW3NFy4v8Ex7XzqsPDo5U70hCFAiLpp36BtgegR8pmg9rNb0S0SxjgL4rGa-OW0UXSg/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.49.25+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1064" data-original-width="622" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRnaMYyTGA-4VOU_Y0GwVpJR3uu6W3QrtTBlk8k1fZJxRVfQpDml18y6bnQCUil3pS-e7HDOdCW3NFy4v8Ex7XzqsPDo5U70hCFAiLpp36BtgegR8pmg9rNb0S0SxjgL4rGa-OW0UXSg/s400/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.49.25+AM.png" width="233" /></a>This Saturday morning I convinced Sidney to race a 5k with me. This wasn't hard to do. Afterall, he completed his training on Wednesday, the same day he started his training, by running a 3.1M run declaring he was ready to go. ;)<br />
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I love Sidney. He keeps my perspective in check. Sid doesn't "train" for anything. He just runs without any idea of how fast, how far, and even how often he is running. He takes the dogs out for their exercise, comes home runs a few more miles on his own or with me, and that is how he trains. There are no "workouts" on the plan. He doesn't use a log. He just runs.<br />
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In my opinion, he generally picks the worst (hottest) time of day, wears dark colors, usually wearing a black cotton T-shirt that makes me crazy. He carries nothing with him, except now he carries his phone if he is on call for work. Often, it seems like he isn't even having a good time. But he still just runs.<br />
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When we run together, he is usually about 6 strides in front of me. I just follow him around until we are done. No talking. Just run. It is a very unique experience. This technique began when we first started dating and he would take me to Allaire to run trails. He knows trails. He is/was a mountain biker. On single track, we needed to run single file and leave some room, about 6 strides, for me to see the ground between us so I could stay upright. This just became how we run now.<br />
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Even though Sidney doesn't "train" for anything and doesn't often seek out races, he will race anything I ask him to race. <b>Ironically, his favorite races are events like La Luz, the 9M, one-way, uphill the WHOLE way, trail race in New Mexico that starts at 6000 ft and ends at 10600 ft.</b> He has done this 5 times and once just climbed the trail solo because he could. Yes, he climbed La Luz mid-day, and I am sure he was wearing a black cotton T-shirt. He did carry water. Phew.<br />
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On the other end of the spectrum, he loves the <b>Key West Half</b>. We used to do that race every year for a decade. <b>He says he liked that race because it has free beer at the end... but he doesn't drink beer ???</b> I think he tries to torture me. I also think 6 of his 10 his Key West race photos are of him racing in the sub-tropics in his Dark Forest Green La Luz trail run shirt. At least it was a tech shirt. :)<br />
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Once, 3 entire weeks before the LBI 18M run, Sid declared he wanted to run it. No training at all. So I say "<b>Ok,</b><b> if you want to run 18M on 0 training, I will pay to see this happen."</b> I register him when I register myself. Sid has screws in his knee from a motocross injury (He was very very good at Motocross. He used to race across the US like I do with running. He was sponsored by Fox. I wish I knew him then). He has a replaced Achilles tendon from a cadaver. He has screws in his shoulder from a head on collision with a drunk driver who was driving the wrong way on Rt 9 at night with no lights one night he was driving home from work at the prison. The screws in his knee bother him when he runs too far, but somehow 18M on no training did not send up any red flags. I know the car will be parked at Mile 9 and he will have the keys. If he gets to 9M in pain, he can DNF, get in the car and meet me at the end. I fully expect to see him there when I hit the finish shoot. Screws, a Borrowed Achilles, 18M, No Training... I am not sure he can finish this without pain. But no. <b>He runs 18M in 9:22 pace, eating only Candy Corn for fuel (while most likely wearing black cotton T-shirt.) :) </b> He only had a 4 minute positive fade in a race with a headwind throughout the entire point-to-point course.<br />
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<b>Sid will race anything I ask him to race, but I don't abuse the privilege. </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>Sid definitely does not over think things.</b> Once we left for a 5k up New Hampshire and halfway to the race he realized he was wearing bedroom slippers and had no sneakers in the car. We had to stop at Khols on the way, run in, buy sneakers and then he raced it. Another time he forgot shorts? I do think he likes to torture me. :)<br />
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<b>Once he decided he wanted to run a marathon</b>. He actually had time to prepare. <b>Like weeks of time, maybe like 6 weeks? ;)</b> <br />
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I convinced him to run the Beaver Island Marathon in Michigan. He could rent a plane and fly us there. He agreed that would be awesome. <b>He devised his own training plan. He wanted to train for it by mountain biking a lot. </b>(He was a very good mountain biker. Really good and he wanted to protect his knee from the pounding, so this made sense). I convinced him to do a few runs. So he decided to run a 5M, 10M, 15M, and 20M run each week apart, then rest a week before the marathon, and the rest of the time he would mountain bike or maybe run if he felt like it. <b>So he ran a 5, 10, 15, and 20M run, as he said he would</b>. All nonstop, all without fuel, most likely in black cotton t-shirts, at 10:00 pace or better, on trail loops. Even effort. No fade.<br />
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On race weekend, the Beaver Island was going to be hit with thunderstorms. He can't fly a Mooney in that so we canceled the trip. Since he was "trained," I signed us up for a <b>12 Hour race (Labor Pains)</b> and we ran that together. It was on a 5M loop of rocky trails. The loop required the use of a step ladder to get over a guardrail. One lady fell on her face on some rocks and broke her nose. I may or may not have broken my toe or at least dislocated it. All I know is it was purple for a week and super painful. We ran 4 laps, stopped to have some burgers and kick our feet up to rest. Then we went out and we ran/walked 11 more miles. <b>Sidney finished a 50k with me. He has a vest that says "50K Finisher." </b>But ask him today if he ever ran a marathon or ultra and he says "No. That race doesn't count. We had burgers. We took a break. We sat in lawn chairs. We use a step ladder. What's up with that!? That doesn't count!" Ok, you covered 31.1M on foot and yes it was at a leisurely pace... so ok that doesn't count. Sidney likes to torture me.<br />
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Sid doesn't care for road races.<b> So once I found us an adventure race that required us to canoe through a bioluminescent bay (beautiful), mountain bike a few miles, and then run</b>... <b>all while trying to find checkpoints in the middle of the dark night in Florida</b>. <b>The race started at 1:00 am and ended at 5:00 am.</b> We had no time to train for this. I have no skills with orienteering. Sid has military training, so I was hoping someone taught him how to use a compass. I don't even know if we had a compass? But he thought this sounded awesome and agreed to do it. So we did it. <b>We actually found a few checkpoints, which was a small miracle.... especially with me in charge of the map and with me not realizing there were actual turn-by-turn directions on the back of the map they gave us 10 minutes before the start when we arrived. </b> Apparently, the regulars get there an hour or two early to plan their strategy and learn the routes. <b>Our strategy: Just Don't Die</b>. This was more challenging than it sounds since we had to "jump over" a slow moving train with our mountain bike. It was very slow moving. Somehow we managed to not finish last. I suspect the other two teams behind us were blind.<br />
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<b>Sidney is my running opposite</b>.<br />
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I know every detail about every step I take. I try to race with precision, collecting data along the way, making reasoned decisions. I plan my training, my fueling, my pacing, my gear. I am my worst critic. My heart gets too invested. I elevate running to some status it may or may not deserve in reality. <b>But running gives me a tremendous sense of purpose</b>.<br />
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And then Sidney leaves for races forgetting to bring running shoes. But he always manages to finish what he starts, no matter what the challenge is. He may not train, but I love his perspective. <b> </b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b>Sidney has a lot of lessons to teach me about running, many of which I am still learning: </b><br />
-Don't over think things.<br />
-Believe in yourself.<br />
-Be honest with yourself.<br />
-Know your ability.<br />
-Work within your means.<br />
-Get it done.<br />
-Do the job you set out to do.<br />
-No excuses.<br />
-No quitting.<br />
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Sidney is awesome.<br />
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*****<br />
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<b>Teterboro 5k</b><br />
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Today I convinced Sid to run the 5K at the airport he flies out of for work. I wanted to race so I could work on my sharpening my pacing. I knew my time would be much slower than last year. I wanted his company to make the whole experience more fun. After the race, he could show me the jets he flies as a charter pilot (he flies wealthy people around or gets hired to fly surgeons to hospitals in the middle of the night to pick up organs for transplant patients). Even though this was one of the days he did NOT have to go to Teterboro, he was a good sport and went with me anyway.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzdZkYzhAVOLcxy-MZ3L7QePyhRszDbGchUBq0C7iwR7_MwXzg717Dnclb2X3em13RbZZ-fCbddWGkX8WLstl2fx3J8ThJF4uH-u_msz4OyQZM5wCZLAywbuKo8EtjxdIm4IoiyAFrxk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.50.15+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="482" data-original-width="1320" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzdZkYzhAVOLcxy-MZ3L7QePyhRszDbGchUBq0C7iwR7_MwXzg717Dnclb2X3em13RbZZ-fCbddWGkX8WLstl2fx3J8ThJF4uH-u_msz4OyQZM5wCZLAywbuKo8EtjxdIm4IoiyAFrxk/s400/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.50.15+AM.png" width="400" /></a>Sid made an effort to warm up with me. After his .25M warm up, I did another .5M around the area we could use for warm up space. Space was limited because this race is on an airport tarmac and security is tight there.<br />
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I decided to line up towards the front, second row. I ran 7:04 pace at Belmar last weekend and had predicted I should be able to run 6:50 pace or better today. My goal is to start around 6:50, maybe 7:00 if I felt sluggish, then aim to get slightly faster each mile. <b>Goals: Run by feel, forget the watch, listen to my body, and no fading.</b><br />
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I don't expect anything in terms of placement, but I know I was 2nd last year with 19:43. 6:50 or better is about 21:15... I hope to maybe squeak under 21 if I feel strong.<br />
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Sid heads towards the middle of the pack. He decided 9:00 pace would be realistic. Under 9 would be wonderful. Part of finishing what you start is having some sense of self-awareness about your ability. It is a little better to underestimate than over estimate speed and endurance when you haven't raced anything in 9 months.<br />
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The gun goes off. I start behind Sergio and next to Ben. The pace is a tad fast off the line. After getting pulled out too fast, I let three ladies go and I settle back a little. I size up my competition as I run My Pace. In the first half mile, I suspect that 2 of the 3 women in front of me are breathing a little too hard too soon and likely not going to be able to hold their pace. The third woman looks strong. I don't even look at my watch. I am trying to run by feel alone. I plan to check my splits after the race. I want to feel like I am picking up my pace each mile. <b>M1 6:42</b>.<br />
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In the second mile, I shift a gear and get a little faster. I catch up to Ben and begin to reel in the one woman ahead of me. I ask Ben. "Is she first woman?" Ben: "I believe she is. But you can take her" Me: "Not if I blow up in M2... I need to be patient. If she is still near me in the last mile, I have to go for it. After all, I have extra motivation today ... Sidney is here!"<br />
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I pick up a bit, trying to stick to my plan of gradual negative splits. I reel her in faster than I planned. I hope to wait until the final mile to pass, but just before M2 I end up right behind her. <b>M2 6:38</b><br />
<b><br /></b> I have no idea where the M2 Marker is and I not looking at my watch often or if I am I am not retaining what I see. I find myself passing her, a bit earlier than I hoped and I have a choice. I can hold my pace and risk having her go with me or I can pass "with authority", put some distance between us, hope to not blow up before I settle down, wait for a little bit of recovery to set in so I can find my next gear, and then kick at the end to hopefully seal the victory.<br />
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I decide to pass with authority and hope to hold it together the rest of the way. I glance at my pace after the M2 beep and it is 6:18. I know I am not holding that for the full 1.1 to the end. Once I can't hear her feet hitting the ground I settle down. I want to look back so badly, but I don't. I stick to my plan. I settle down to regroup, ideally cleaning my lactate so I can burst if needed if I hear her approach. I figure if she had to work hard to catch up to me, she won't have another gear once she reaches me and we are starting to run out of road. <b>M3 6:33</b><br />
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I think about the track workouts <b>Alanna, Kim,</b> and I<b> </b>have been doing. I know my turnover has been low 5:00 pace for 300 meters repeats. My best 300 in training as 59 seconds which is a 5:19 pace at the end of 3.75 miles of 300 meter repeats. I know I have another gear, but I just want to until I know I can hold it before I shift one last time. We are close to ending this thing, but it is still too soon to be confident. With each step closer to the finish, I take it granted even LESS that I have this wrapped up. That last thing I need is to be over confident just strides from the shoot and lose the race. I have no idea where she is. I don't look back. I won't be confident that I have this race won until I actually do it.<br />
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I think about Sidney. I really want to be able to tell him "I won!" He rarely attends races with me and not often when I am peak shape. <b>When I have goal races in mind and when I am well-trained, I prefer to go to races without him so he can stay home with our dogs and I can focus on what I need to do</b>. I do better on my own. But when I do well, I do wish he could see me at my best. But even at my best, I don't win a lot of races overall so when he does go to a race with me, the chance that I will actually win is quite low. Today I would like for him to see me win something.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQJzndieM1fJVrIo1jIWziOSuBZZZMNcGarNKFPSjvEAIFMHXSwWexFalky33DR2uDHHrTu-lvXrFyAMkkQpm9lGlec2YvepE06DTVB0zdIe1dP-j5Km9wyXApB0U4wmoVIoW7AEVccU/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.49.54+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1052" data-original-width="830" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQJzndieM1fJVrIo1jIWziOSuBZZZMNcGarNKFPSjvEAIFMHXSwWexFalky33DR2uDHHrTu-lvXrFyAMkkQpm9lGlec2YvepE06DTVB0zdIe1dP-j5Km9wyXApB0U4wmoVIoW7AEVccU/s320/Screen+Shot+2017-07-20+at+10.49.54+AM.png" width="252" /></a>I know I have another gear. I did my work and paced this well. When I see the finish line, I dig deep. If I just run as fast as I can, push as hard as I can, then I will have a good chance at winning. And if I get beat, I can't be too upset because I will know I tried my best.<br />
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I kick as hard as I can. I imagine I am on the track trying to run my best 300m repeat. I make it to the shoot first, running the <b>last .1 in 5:50 pace</b>. I turn around and see how close this was. I had about a 15 second lead by the finish.<br />
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<b>Sidney</b> came in a few minutes later, in 8:08 pace! <3<br />
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Stat:<br />
Time: 20:30 gun (20:27 chip time: 6:36 pace)<br />
Gender Place: 1st OA Female<br />
Overall Place 30<br />
<br />Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-10456450479308085352017-07-14T07:50:00.001-04:002017-07-14T08:12:55.331-04:00My Initial Check-In Race for this training cycle: Belmar 5, Belmar, NJ, 7/8/17<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4ePWLmD_ocSSPUiprmwULDdOHS-P8OkvyIVchjnaygR3ONV3ILcs85nnbn2Xfj7CIOlQ0GuoHajd4Pkmhx2S-3-bieaNVVPry-8UaXIFwTSYX_62acJFFvGq-_RKgbBbY6zHobqHZL4/s1600/race_9379_2881_472a6f4d-bc72-4434-a6e7-4594f16de42e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4ePWLmD_ocSSPUiprmwULDdOHS-P8OkvyIVchjnaygR3ONV3ILcs85nnbn2Xfj7CIOlQ0GuoHajd4Pkmhx2S-3-bieaNVVPry-8UaXIFwTSYX_62acJFFvGq-_RKgbBbY6zHobqHZL4/s400/race_9379_2881_472a6f4d-bc72-4434-a6e7-4594f16de42e.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To solidify my focus and to get a handle on what my training paces should be right now, I needed a "Check-In" Race. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also needed to wait until I felt ready to enjoy the experience. It was going to be a challenging day, with a race time that was much slower than I have run in the past, as it should be. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I worked incredibly hard for my PRs last Fall. I am not at that level of fitness now. I am having fun on the track. My long runs are up to 18M. I am doing my hill work.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Starting over can be hard to do, but once the ball is rolling, positive progress can be made. I know that<b> reminiscing about past performances and feeling "bad" that we am not running as fast right now does nothing to move us forward or make us fitter. That is wasted energy, negatively toned, that only operates to hold us back. It is human to think about where we have been and how great we have run before, but that is the past. Today is not that day. To get fitter I know I need to assess where I am right now, in this moment, and build from here.</b> I don't have a lot of trouble moving past that hurdle once I get started. It is the first race back that is the hardest step. I need to wait until I feel ready and then all it takes one <b>Check-In Race</b> to give me a new present focus to build from. <b>Today I found my focus. </b><br /> <br />After a beach run with Kim last week, I emailed Suz. I had been asked by Laura if I was racing again. Suz was building a team could use some runners. I wasn’t going to make any promises about my ability. I had no idea what I could do. I needed a race to find out. I could promise to be a body on the roster if she needed runners to field a team. Suz was happy to let me on! Thank you!<br /> <br />My last race was a 10K in April. At Mile 4, I strained my Achilles. It was a weird mishap that was not from training, but rather from walking 8M (unplanned) the day before in crap shoes and really exhausting my calves and Achilles. <b>(Sometimes it is what we do when not training that has the biggest impact on our race day experience).</b> When I started running to 10k, my Achilles was already very tired. I truly needed recovery from that walk, not to run 6:45 pace up a hill. By M4 of that race, my Achilles just gave out. I knew I was going to need a lot of time to recover. I just should have stayed home that day, but I had no way to really know I was not going be able to run 6M and finish in one piece. Just the week before I ran a 1:30 20k with a 6:35 final mile. I thought I be ok. I was mistaken. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So today, I was a bit anxious about racing again. I did not want to restrain my Achilles. <b>Trust is hard to build back once broken, but the only way back is to take some calculated risks and accept the consequences.</b> There was no reason to think I would get hurt. I took a long time to heal properly. I felt 100% well. I was not just race-ready. <br /> <br />Because I am still building up my volume and this was not a goal race, I wanted more than just 5M of running, especially if I was going to take a drive to the beach (45 minutes each way). <b>Kim had 8M on her plan, so we met at 5:45 am, caught the sunrise, and ran that together as my “warm up”. </b><br /> <br />We parked just over a half mile from the race staging area (so Kim could be sure to get out of Belmar easily). <b>SuperDave</b> came down to race. <b>He parked in the same lot, arriving as I was in my car trying to remember what it felt like to lace up a pair of racing flats. </b>Dave and I got our bibs, I found some of my teammates, and we headed to the start. <br /> <br />The first race back always feels a little surreal. My body hadn't felt the rush of the neurochemical cocktail that primes the CNS to perform in a long time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Me: “Oh Jeez, I have no idea??? I really hope to be between 7 and 8, but I would be really happy with sub-9! I haven’t run anything in the 8’s in a long time. I hope I can run 8:30s!” </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Kim: “OMG! You will be faster than that! Would you be happy with 7:30’s?” </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Me: "Absolutely! I would be thrilled with 7:30s. I ran 6:38 here last year… I don’t expect that to happen today.”</b><br /> <br />Just jogging to the start felt hard. <b>The 8M 10:00 paced warm up felt hard. I had trouble imagining running in the 8:00’s.</b> It is human to reflect back on how fast and fit I was just months ago and feel “something’ about not being in that type of shape again. But I was ready to see where I stand. In some ways, this is "Just a Race." But for me, running is also my livelihood. The bulk of my income comes from my coaching. I need to be able to perform well (for me), to role model good balance, and to practice what I preach. It is very very important for my survival and this often makes running and racing much more important to me in some ways than probably most of the runners standing there at the start alongside me. <br /> <br />I line up a few rows back, further than I would if I was fitter. After the National Anthem, off we go. I am immediately trapped behind a wall of people, most running too slow for where they seeded themselves. I try to find my way around groups of runners without running too far out of my way. I try to be patient, but I really just need room to run without getting jostled around. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After hitting the accelerator to get clear space, I see my pace is 6:28 at less than a half mile into this thing. I am pleasantly surprised! No way! I didn't expect to see that at all. <b>It is clearly too fast, but it doesn't feel terrible and that is the best part! </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I pump the breaks to get myself closer to a 7:00 pace. I feel good! My breathing is not out of control (yet). My legs feel springy and energized. Nothing hurts! <b>B</b></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>ut I know running too fast is a trap. Lactate is building up, imperceptibly, behind the scenes in my blood stream. It is only a matter of seconds to minutes before a pace that seemed unbelievably easy to hold becomes soul-crushingly hard and requires even more slow-down to recover from after the LT is over-shot that if I just slowed before overshooting, which then destroys average overall pace.</b> I decide to aim for 7:00 and see how that feels. I work on slowly, slowing down but a part of me is still falling for the false promises my lungs and legs are making me, making me wonder if 6:45 is possible… I slow and hit <b>M1 6:44. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /><br />Ok, I have 4M more to go and I know better than to start too fast. No. 6:45 average pace is not possible. I am out of practice. I have no frame of reference. What is "too fast?" I have no idea? Negative splitting everything is what brought me great success last season. <b> Going out too fast on a wing and pray is a formula for negative experiences, not negative splits.</b> Accepting my ability and working on control, holding back until it is time to kick, this is the path to PRs. <b>But to do this I need to trust that I know my ability really well. Today, I am not sure of my ability so I get to mess this race up judgment free and then use the information I gather to make better decisions next time. Next time, I will have no excuse to not negative split. No pressure ;) </b><br /> <br />I get the watch to read 7:0x. Could I possibly come back in M5 with a strong enough kick to dip me back into 6:59 average? Maybe? Let's make that the plan: Find a seemingly sustainable pace and try to reserve another gear for M5. <b>I stop looking at the watch and start running by feel. I don’t care what the pace says, <u>sustainable is a feeling, not a time</u>. M2: 7:04 </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><br /></b>We continue on towards Ocean Ave. I can hear <b>Dave D.</b> playing his trumpet. That makes me smile. I wave my arms to catch his attention and he cheers for me like I am winning the Olympics! This gave me a little boost as I head down the road that parallels the boardwalk that I run almost weekly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A guy moves to my side and says “So are we Winning this thing!?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I answer “I don’t know about you, but I am! I haven't run a race in months so just getting myself to the Start was a Win for me… this stuff, the running part, this is the celebration!”… </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He says something back, that I can’t make out and then pulls ahead. I let him go. I am running by feel. I don’t care what others around me do. <b>M3 7:04. </b><br /> <br />We turn and I feel tired. The pace is catching up to me. I am about to blow past my threshold. I feel my legs subtly heavier. I feel my breathing has increased a little. I have 2M to go. I slow a little because I want to make sure I have something left for M5. I don't look at my watch. I don't care what it says. Again, I just run by feel. This is the only way I know to run my best. Sustainable is a feeling, not a time on the watch. <b>M4 7:19. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As we hit 1M to go, I starting thinking in tenths. "Just tenths to go!" I start thinking about the intervals I do and how I ran 59 seconds for the last 300 after doing 14 other 300s before it. How maybe with 1 minute to go, I can find a faster gear, not 300 meters in 59 seconds fast, but faster than what I am doing now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I focus on form, try to keep up my turnover, and work the last mile the best I could. About three ladies blow past me in the last mile... I just let them go. Today is the day for competition to crush me down the home stretch, but come fall, I hope to be the one with the blazing fast finish. Today is not that day. <b>M5 7:04</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once I met back up with SuperDave we walked back to the car. I was hoping to head back to the venue to socialize with my team, take photos, cheer on the award winners. But once at my car, I realized it was almost 10:00 am, I had 8 runners on my roster to write plans for and I wanted to be done with work as soon as possible. I messaged Laura and Suz to apologize for leaving. I just really needed to get home to work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I did not expect to win anything. It turns out I was 1st in my Age Group a--nd our team actually won overall too! <3 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is a great way to start the training cycle! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Stats:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Time: 35:19 (7:04)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Place: 26th F OA</b></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5479457949185336396.post-8739326982307975982017-07-08T13:34:00.000-04:002017-07-13T10:26:04.814-04:00Recap and A Fresh Start #ChasingSunrises<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uchmZXWu_usEBv9Y3qCOS6YGgqZTyNJLEIn6I1sdatc5_3TZ2d-mqGFJQ6wsZF4FTa0zE8SWvAEu2U3oCZNM8ZnGVOWdF6VedrQQuuGIARX0P-Xo2nhv5iKyDYMz3rup7xJqSfJ__tg/s1600/19983391_10214420700297962_8480745511422582208_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uchmZXWu_usEBv9Y3qCOS6YGgqZTyNJLEIn6I1sdatc5_3TZ2d-mqGFJQ6wsZF4FTa0zE8SWvAEu2U3oCZNM8ZnGVOWdF6VedrQQuuGIARX0P-Xo2nhv5iKyDYMz3rup7xJqSfJ__tg/s400/19983391_10214420700297962_8480745511422582208_o.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It</span> has<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> been a </span>long time<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> since my last race report and it is time to start again! Some of the best races of my life never were reported about, because I have been overworked, overstressed, spread too thin, and short on time. I needed to prioritize my work-life and some other heartbreaking issues (not to be discussed) over running for a few months. Now that things are in a better place for me, I am ready to get back to doing what I love most. Bring on the races! :) </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here is my recap to get the ball rolling:<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">First, I had a fantastic Fall season. I broke 3 hours (2:56) in Utah for the first time in early September. I ran a few 1:27’s Half Marathons in August and again late Sept. I broke 19:00 in the 5k twice. Then I broke 3 hours again at Steamtown (2:55). The following weekend, I set an Age Group American Record in the 6 hour (43.16M) in October. The next weekend, I ran a 1:28 Half in the most miserable weather (at Beat 539, which was a great first-time event and I hope they do it again). The following weekend I placed 4th at the 50M Nationals (Tussey). </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After a little rest, I ran a 6:00 paced 8k at Ashenfelter, followed by another sub-19 5k and then I decided I needed a rest from racing. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I went on to simply run for the joy of running! I felt like a machine. I was logging an average of almost 125M per week for a few weeks in a row, running just shy of 500M in January. I planned to taper for John Prices’ 100K in Virginia, but as soon as I reduced my volume, I became acutely aware that all my running was really just the glue that was holding me together while I tried to figure out how to cope with significant, insurmountable, and painful stress (which I will not discuss here). </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I needed time, a lot of time, to sort out my thoughts. I needed to grieve. I needed to give myself room to breathe and not feel like I was under anyone’s microscope. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In March, after a month of feeling terrible, I did run Caumsett 50K Nationals at 8:45 pace. I was thrilled with that 4:32, because I really had no business running that well considering how crappy and stressed out I felt. The only reason I was able to finish at all was because of Kim. The support of her friendship was holding me together and when I wanted to just quit anything or everything that felt hard in my life, it was nice to have a friend nearby who believed in me. After walking up a hill at about Mile 18?, Kim caught me and just running a few strides together helped me remember that I am stronger than I think. I found my second wind and together we persevered, pulling each other around that 5k loop course until we both ended up in the top 10 at Nationals and Kim had a new PR that was almost 1 minute per mile faster than her fastest 50K before that. This is even more impressive when I say that we also missed the start by about 2 minutes! Now we get to joke about how we passed every single runner on the course that day and still managed to bring home USATF National Championship medals! </span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In March, I tried very hard to get my body back to training, but I clearly needed more time to heal, inside and out. My 125M weeks were a thing of the past. They likely left me too beat up to do anything well. Running yourself into the group is great for numbing pain, but not great training. 100M per week ok, that feels great and I can recover from that. 125M per week, that is likely more than I ever need to do to myself again in training. My body felt run down, beat down, and tired. I lost motivation to run a lot and started gaining weight fast from being less active but still eating like I was running a ton. My nutritional choices were also a little more relaxed, as I did not see the point of eating the way I eat when I am training hard because I was NOT training hard. I don't need a post-workout protein shake after a 2M treadmill run. I have more carbs because they seem to enhance mood a little and cake tastes good. If I am not racing, then I am going to I want a cookie. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I found myself more often than not, eating things I knew would not help my fitness improve, but I just was not ready to get focused on fitness and I was very much OK with that. I knew when I was ready to focus, I would focus 100%. I am confident that I know how to get myself in Race Shape. But until I felt I was ready to focus on fitness, I was OK with not racing, being a little less fit, and eating the cake because it tasted good. I really needed to not be so demanding of myself for a little while.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kim and I had planned to run Dawn to Dusk to Dawn way back in December. Kim trained her butt off, running more than one 100M training week, despite rolling an ankle while away on vacation. We finished that last 100M with Two Rivers Marathon, 3 weeks after the 50K Nationals. Our plans for Two Rivers was to just finish the race and get the big week of training volume checked off the training To-Do list… time didn’t matter. We both recently averaged 8:45 pace for 50K in early March, so 8:45 or better seemed like a realistic goal.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During our warm up, I felt so awful. My Achilles was so tight it hurt to jog. I could not do anything but hope that once we started racing, I would feel fine. Gun goes off and I feel great. The downhill start is super steep… I start fast and then peel back to a 7:23 M1, only to realize something is very very wrong. I slow more and feel my shins and Achilles are just hot and inflamed. By Mile 1.8 every step is painful. My lower legs are on fire! By 2M I am walking. By 2.5M I am stopped, just standing on the side of the road frustrated by the fact that my legs just don’t seem to want to work and I don’t know what to do about this. So I just start walking and hope the tightness will loosen and the pain will go away. It doesn’t. I am almost in tears from frustration. I try run-walking b/c I just need to get back to my car. I know that I can turn at 11M, but that is so so far away. This race is desolate. There is no one who could help me. I don’t have my phone. I just need to get off the course asap, but that is still going to take hours at this pace.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I finally get off the course and sit in the restaurant with Anne and Bob while waiting for Kim to finish a huge week of mileage with a marathon-LR. She ends up “accidentally” running a 3:37! This is fantastic! Another BQ for Kim, by accident! ;)<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do my best (poorly) to show that I am thrilled my friend did so great (my experience is no reflection on hers and I want her to celebrate)… I know she is trying hard to not be too exuberant b/c she know I am not thrilled with my race and something is wrong and concerning me… but I know I am dealing with emotional stress not really physical stress. Physically, I am strong and nothing happened that hurt me. I just wasn’t able to function and that felt a little scary.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next weekend (April 2nd) was the first Clifton team race of the year, Indian Trails 20k, on a hilly course. I was very much afraid that the hills would set off some reaction again where pain debilitated me… so I start with caution and somehow manage to negative split to run a 7:19 paced 20k. I felt great! No Achilles pain. No shin pain. Nothing hurt. My last mile was 6:35 and I felt like whatever happened last weekend was a fluke.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I register for the Cherry Blossom 10k on April 9th. All I want to do is beat 7:20 pace and I will be pleased. The day before there is a special Pop-Up Tea Shop at the MET in NYC. I ask Sid if he would go have tea with me. (I was obsessed with Tea for a little while). We make a day of it, but I didn’t realize we would end up walking 8M in the city. The park was beautiful with cherry blossom everywhere. The weather was gorgeous. We walk and talk and have tea together. We have lunch at the MET. It is a nice day, but I could tell my legs, Achilles, and feet were so tired. Dressy shoes (flats) were not the best choice for that amount of time on my feet, but in the moment I just didn’t think much of it.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next morning, I feel tired but this is only a 10k. I ran a 20k at 7:19 pace, so I should have no trouble running this 10k 7:19 or faster. I start off feeling fine, but as the miles pass I could feel my achilles starting to feel tight. I assume this is because the first half of this race has some inclines. I am hopeful that the declines will feel much better… but at Mile 4, my left Achilles feels painful and I can’t go on. I shut down to whatever pace I can run that would allow me to finish the race so I could get back to my car. I manage a 7:22 average pace despite the last 2 Miles being around 8:30s. I hobble back to my car, realizing that this magnitude of this strain is greater than anything I have experienced ever in running and I am most likely NOT going to run Boston this year. After a few days, I am sure I can't finish a marathon like this and I cancel my hotel.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kim and I were also registered for a mountain marathon in Virginia on 4/22. I was hopeful that by skipping Boston, I could run that one, even if slow. But even by 4/18 I knew I could not. I had to skip that race as well.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next race on the calendar was Dawn to Dusk to Dawn (a 24 hour track race). I knew there was nothing good going to happen for me at this event, but Kim was ready to shine! This was Mother’s Day weekend and boy did we get hit a Mother of a Storm. It rained from before the start until 11pm that night. Once again Kim and I are late to the start. Only by 1 minute this time. We are improving. This meant that we ended up racing in the crappy shoes we had on while setting our camp up, planning to change into racing flats just before the start. Well, that did not happen.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We had some trouble wrestling with our pop-up canopy (I forgot one of the pegs was broken and I still need to ask Sidney if he can help fix this). This delayed us. It was more important to get a dry camp set up than it was to be on time to the start. In 40 degrees with high wind gusts and heavy to moderate rains all day, we needed to make sure our gear was going to be ok. Our set-up was good. We had my two-man tent with rain cover set up under the pop-up canopy and this worked well to keep about 90% of our stuff dry.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the first three hours, I already started to have trouble with my body temperature. We were doing well, started slow and stuck to the plan we created to stay on our pace goal. But I was so so so cold. My hands were so cold they stopped hurting, but they were useless to me. I ended up wearing two rain jackets and an emergency poncho to dry to stay warm.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only way I could keep my body temp up was to keep running while wrapped in plastic. Walk breaks would drop my body temp too low. If I stopped moving to take care of a need, I was in trouble. I couldn't think clearly. I fought through two bouts of feeling mildly confused and hypothermic before I decided at 9 hours in to the race that I was done for the day. I needed to change my clothes and that would be hard to do. I needed to feel my hands again. I needed to take a nap. I needed to crew Kim. I needed to break down the camp. I needed to load the car back up. I needed to drive us home. I was very much OK with stopping at 43 miles. The irony is that my achilles felt great the whole time! I am sure the flat track helped. This trip was 100% worth because I got to witness Kim run like a Goddam Machine in the worst conditions I have ever run in and she just never gave up on her goal. She managed a new 24 PR with a great finish, once again! I am so happy she went and pushed through!<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had hoped that D3 would jump start my fitness focus like the Virginia 24 hour did for me last year. But this did not happen. I still was just not ready. Life stress was still pummeling me in full force, and I now my health was on my mind. I needed a few exams to rule out a very unlikely possibility of cancer again (which all worked out as I knew it would, but just another round of biopsies and ultrasounds really freaked me out for a while).<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, by June, I got my shit together. Things shifted. I made some changes to all my work schedules to give me more time to decompress. I finished a semester of school which took one major task off my plate. I started sleeping a lot better. I started getting up a lot earlier to train. I found a way to accept the stress that will always be a part of my life from here forward. And I decided that I was ready to get back to work. <br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alanna decided to join me in some really focused training to help me and her prepare to be strong and fit by fall. She has given me a gift by agreeing to torture herself with me ;). Kim has fully recovered from her 24-hour Monsoon PR at D3 and is also ready to get back to work too. We all are focused on speedwork, long runs, tempos, hills, balanced training, balanced nutirition, getting rest, and just coping with all the crap life hurls at us. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I now have a great training schedule with Alanna and Kim. Most of this involves getting up early to witness the beautiful sun rising over trails, the ocean, even the track, with people who care about me enough to get up at 4 am to do this with me. <3 </span></span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And when not running I get to look forward to what SuperDave and I call our “morning meetings.” We call each other when I am driving to my hospital work to hash out things and come up with great plans that help us both stay focused on the important stuff. I need this time. Sid has also stepped up more than I realized he could or would to help lift me out of this quagmire that I have I felt stuck in for months. As a result of giving myself time to process and heal, to find my way out of the dark, following a path illuminated patiently by the love and support from those closest to me, only recently have I felt like myself again.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I now look forward to getting up in the darkness to get out the door early, to see the world brighten as I start my day... making sure to take care of myself, my needs, first... to focus on setting myself up for success (with good nutrition, restful sleep, and healthy coping). I am ready to allow the magic to happen. And I have the best friends in the world #chasingsunrises with me! I am ready to get back to work <3 </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(Next Up, RR: Belmar 5M)</span></span></div>
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Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10461768444249790468noreply@blogger.com0