Run for the Red, Pocono Summit, PA, 5/20/18

Run for the Red - Check-In Race

Early in the start of training, I like to race something hard to check in with myself to see how much work I have to do. Run for the Red was that race for me. 

Despite knowing that I have not actually properly prepared to race a fast marathon, I still felt a little pressure to perform. This is funny because if I don't do the work, I should not expect to see results, but running is funny like that. We still often try anyway. Maybe we hope our hearts can carry us through despite not preparing. I know it is foolish for me to think this way. 

I was entirely too focused on the outcome goal of this race and not really mindful of what was realistic for me along the way. However, I have to admit, I really needed to just not care and to see what I could do if I pushed myself. I did not truly expect great results, but I was not going to assume I would fail either. I just wanted the race to unfold for me naturally.  This also was not a Goal Race and I could take risks because failure would be ok.

The week leading up to this race was a fantastic week for me in terms of training, nutrition, sleep, etc. The problem is I was actually training hard, getting leaner, and as a result feeling beat up. Changing body composition is stressful on the body. If I really wanted a good shot at a good run, I should have been resting. But resting from what? From a 5 hour Strolling Jim where I mostly strolled along? From NOT running any long runs over 12M at a hard effort? From lower (for me) weekly mileage?  

I have plans to aim high for the Fall and Fall is not that far away. I don’t want to start training by tapering from nothing so I made a decision to train right through Run for the Red and to consider it a hard long run, not a "race".

To get myself in a positive frame of mind, starting on Friday, I simply started focusing my attention on every detail I could find that suggested I had a chance to run strong. I ignored all the reasons I should not. For example, based upon my last race (a 15k), I had the potential for a 3:31 (if I had actually done some long runs at something even close to training paces that would support a 3:31, but I did not. I was resting and this is the start of my training so I knew I was going to struggle). I was also lighter and leaner than when I raced that 15K so maybe I still had a short.  Even though Strolling Jim was a slower race for me, it was not easy so I know I was fitter for having done it. I think I had a chance to run a marathon within my goal window. Not a good chance, but a chance nonetheless.

The last time I ran Run for the Red in 2016, I was not very well-trained either (but better trained than this year) and I did run a 3:33 so I knew the fast course could pull me along, especially if the weather cooperated. In 2016, the weather was bizarre, but perfect for fast running.

I need a 3:40 to BQ and since I have not raced many marathons seriously in about 18 months, I definitely need a BQ if I want to return to Boston. I do know that June, July, and August are not the months that I am most likely get that BQ, due to the stifling heat and humidity and also because that is when I am in the middle of marathon training (building up my fast finish long runs from 14-24 miles or using 50k and marathons as long even effort time on my feet fun runs). I rarely race marathons for time in the summer. So if I wanted to snag a BQ to, at least, get my foot in the door, Run for the Red was where to do it.

Accordingly, my Goal Window was 3:31-3:40 or blow up trying.

So the weather… ah, the first really humid race of the year. This is not ideal. But I try to disregard this as it doesn’t matter. I have to go for my window regardless of conditions. The clock doesn’t care what the humidity is.

I start off trying to find a comfortably-hard pace. I sense I am running slightly too fast, but again I have not run anything far and fast in such a long time that I expected the pace to feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. 

I keep checking in with myself to try to determine if I think I can hold this the entire way and the answer really is “No. No you cannot.”  So I made a choice to see how long I could hold it. If I do fade in the hills at the end, I may still end up in my 3:31-3:40 window. If I can't, I can accept that too.

Part of the point of my Check-In race for me is to allow me a “throw away” race that I am free to go out and mess up royally. I need to do everything wrong once in a while, especially early in training, just because it helps remind me about how important it is to do things right. It also shows me that doing everything wrong never turns out as bad as it seems like it should. 

If I could train well, get lean and strong, taper, carb-load (yes, I do this and it works for me), and stick to a realistic pace plan that is task-focused and not outcome-focused… then I know I can negative split and have a great run. But I am not there yet. However, I wanted to know what I could now, today, untrained, undiscplined, and tired. 

Run for the Red was awesome and demoralizing at the same time.

I managed to stay either just ahead of or just behind the 3:30 pace group through 19M. I really did not feel as terrible as I thought I would at that pace, but the humidity and warmth of the day were catching up with me. My body simply was not prepared to handle the intensity.

At about mile 20-21 I started to get a tremendous migraine. I am sure it was from dehydration and working too hard. The top of my head felt like someone hit me with a bat. I was consuming calories and fluids along the way but race day nutrition is never going to make up for lack of preparation. I knew the crash and burn was coming. I wasn’t sure how bad it would be. The 3:30 pace group drifted off as I slowed down to try to get a grip.

At the next aid station, I stopped running for the first time and grabbed three cups of fluid and walked a few strides to just drink. I was so dizzy and nauseated that I was a little concerned. Once I started running again, I knew I had nothing left.

With 4 miles to go, the death march started. I was done. I had enough for the day. My body, my mind, both had completely checked out. The idea of running or run/walking, or just walking in 4 more miles was soul-crushing. I was overheating and my butt was whooped. But truly I did not expect anything less. I am actually surprised I got as far as I did!

My biggest concern was my left hamstring/glute.  Everything was so tight that I feared straining my hamstring if I pushed through.  I knew I had already done some damage and since this is the start of training I cannot afford to take 2-3 weeks of rest to heal. My gait was altered and there was mild pain. So I walked. 

Kim comes flying past me, yelling something about how I need to go with her now because she is still on pace for the 3:40 and we could do it. And I laughed and I laughed. As if I had a choice. Kim did well in training. Probably not as well as she wanted to prep (but who ever feels their prep is perfect), but she got her butt out there for 20+M fast finish long runs on hot days by herself when it mattered the most. That is how to do work!  She rested, tapered, and stuck to her plan. She kicked ass! I waved good-bye as she drifted off in to the distance wondering how the heck I was going to make it another 5k!

I took my time on the way in and ran when I felt I could and walked most of what was left. I didn’t care if it took me another hour to get done. I did not need to pull a hamstring for no reason at all. Not now. 

But ultimately it wasn’t that bad. I ended up with a 3:53 after running the first 20M at 3:30 pace. And this makes me happy. I have taken a lot of time away from marathon training. Marathon training, for me, is the hardest training I can do. I have not run anything under 4 hours for the marathon in a long time. In fact, I have run a mostly 5 hour marathons just taking my time and enjoying the trails, mountains, and company.

My heart is so happy I was able to gut out a hard 20M LR… too bad the race was 26.2M. :) I am not sad that I did not or could not run a faster time. I did not deserve to. I did not train. I do wish I was in better shape that I am in right now, but when looking back, I know I am exactly where I should be. 

I needed a lot of rest after training so hard in 2016. I am 42 and the work I did at 40 years old was hard on me. I needed to rest my body and soul. The sacrifice, commitment, and intense focus on training that it takes for me to run that hard does detract from my overall quality of life in other aspects. I can’t live life that way year-after-year and expect to feel balanced and happy. Being the fastest marathon runner I can be is not "everything" to me. I am so much more than just a runner.  However, I can give myself 18-20 weeks to try to be my best athlete-self again. And if/when I get the results I seek, I am certain that joy will fill my soul for a long long time.

So Run for the Red was my reality check. I truly feel like I got more than I deserved to get out this race. I am ready to see what I can do from here.